


Nadine, it has always been you.

by 3littlewords



Category: Madam Secretary
Genre: Cute, F/F, Love, Lust, New love, Office Romance, Peace, Protection, assult, beginning, chapters, defense, greed - Freeform, happy endings, wildride
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 02:33:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 69,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16801954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3littlewords/pseuds/3littlewords
Summary: Elizabeth Adams, the fearless Secretary of State and her Chief of Staff kindle a relationship that is more than friends with simple moments shared after hours with pure laughs and smiles. Only to have all that pulled apart, or so Nadine thinks, when Mike B. makes a pass forcing himself on her when she was getting drinks with the staff. Nadine is shattered and convinced she lost Elizabeth only to have Elizabeth work to make her whole again and becomes protective of her Nadine. The friendship evolves, develops, and gets a little steamy.MORE CHAPTERS TO COME!





	1. I Would Love the Idea

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, Sorry I have not posted in a while, grad school is going wild and I have barely had any time to write. HOWEVER I have been working on a few chapters regarding our lovely Elizabeth and Nadine. I throw Mike B under the bus, I never liked his character much. I wanted to write something that shows some budding romance between to people who deserve each other. I wanted to also explore the #metoo movement and how that can play apart in both the work place and within a relationship. I used this as a chance to explore the phases of relationships. Also badass women in badass roles running the world is pretty awesome, right!?

It was just another day in the office, Nadine was sitting at her desk with her round glasses resting gently on the bridge of her nose as she started to check her email for the 10th time in the past hour. Yet, she couldn’t focus. Her eyes darted across the office to look around her office, neat, organized, and everything sat perfectly in place.

What was missing? Why couldn’t she focus on the task before her? The Secretary; Elizabeth was missing. Well no, not missing, just across the globe saving democracy, the rights of millions, and probably striking some kind of deal that would make the world a better and safer place.

She felt antsy, she always felt jittery when the Secretary was out. But this time it was much more than the jitter her felt when Secretary Marsh would be out of the office, she found that every time Elizabeth was out of the country or even in another state she would get anxious for her to come home safe. She wanted her home, home being her office home, so Nadine would have a reason to come in to her office and chat about diplomacy, or coffee, or the weather, or blouses, or…

Although her email was open, Nadine felt her mind wondering, before Elizabeth left they were sitting on the couches in her office drinking scotch and laughing, genuinely laughing. Nadine never saw the Secretary light up the way she did as they talked about the staff.

“Do you think Matt is still into Daisy?” Elizabeth asked out of the blue.

“Have you seen him? He follows her around, and will do anything for her, but he will continually say it is as a good friend. I would be thrilled if I had someone that followed me around that way do basically be at my call.” Nadine said as she laughed as she swirled the last of her scotch around her glass. “What about Blake?”

“That is an interesting one, between you and me” Elizabeth stopped and stuck out her pinkie “pinkie promise you won’t tell him I told you and you will keep this between us.”

Nadine smiled and linked pinkies with Elizabeth, “secret is safe with me.”

“Blake told me he is bi, so I am not sure who he is seeing. But I am sure it is no one in the State Department” Elizabeth drank the last of her scotch and stared at the bottom of her glass debating if she wanted more. “I would hope I would have noticed if it was.”

“I just hope it is someone that likes his singing, oh, and can handle the most organized person in the world” Nadine added, she paused, she wanted to tell the Secretary she was also fluid in her attraction, she had just enough scotch that she had to hold herself back from saying her feelings to the Secretary. “Ma’am, here is another secret for you.” She held up her pinkie again which Elizabeth linked. “He is not the only one.” 

“Not the only… oh!” It clicked, Nadine was dropping a not so subtle hint. “Well, that is good to know.” Elizabeth felt a blush spread from her cheeks to her ears, and hoped it would be blamed on the scotch. “Nadine, you can call me Elizabeth after hours.” she added quickly.

“Elizabeth,” Nadine tested it out on her tongue. It rolled smoothly off her lips, each syllable bounced with ease. “What about you?” Nadine didn’t care if this was to bold, she felt like she was sitting with her friend not her boss.

“Me?” Nadine nodded “Well... the last time I was in love seems so long ago, A few dates but nothing worth noting.” She was quiet and she lowered her eyes, almost bashfully. “I have… nevermind. What about you, Nadine?”

“Aside from an on and off affair with Secretary Marsh… No. And I feel like I can’t away from that choice. I felt like I had to, I was where I was because of him and I know that is irrational, it pushed away family and friends, so I never really knew my own worth, I suppose. I wish I had the chance to free myself from that and let my heart love who it really wants.” She held eye contact with Elizabeth, who look beautiful in the yellow glow of the lights around them. She wanted to tell her that, she wanted to kiss her, and taste the scotch on her lips and… She snapped back into reality. “Because I would like that chance.” 

“I am sure you will get it” a long pause. “I mean Mike B has a real interest.” Elizabeth added sarcastically. Testing the air of conversation, a little, she was curious to see if Nadine would continue with some scotch induced hints.

“Oh please, I can’t bring myself look him in the eye. He is a drama queen and you know it!” Nadine look a little mortified. “Besides, he is a little creepy when you have a one on one conversation.”

“Oh, I know.” She looked at her watch and let out a deep sigh as she stood, “I should make sure I am ready to go, I need to fly out first thing tomorrow. I not even want to go at this point” she chuckled “Nadine, I really enjoy when we can just talk like this after hours.”

“Me too Elizabeth, let's do it again when you are back? Next Wednesday?” 

“Sounds like a date to me.” Elizabeth said naturally, but caught herself then she started to stutter “I mean not a… not if...”

“Don’t worry about it.” Nadine said as she stood to gather her things, “I’m rather fond of that idea.” a with a quick smile “Goodnight Elizabeth” and she was out, leaving Elizabeth spinning. 

“Oh Nadine, I would love the idea.” She whispered as she gathered her coat.


	2. She Thought She Lost It All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2!   
> This work will be a few... I am not sure how long or how many. I hope you enjoy!

Monday night Nadine went out with the rest of the staff, a combination of fun, laughter, and liquor passed through her lips. She did enjoy the time she had with them, they were an interesting group. Soon Blake was being pushed to sing karaoke by Daisy who promised to join him only if Matt bought the next round and of course he agreed. 

Nadine, felt that she had reached her limit for tonight, a few glasses of wine and a shot. She did have an early wake up tomorrow, and it was time for her to leave, it was getting late. She paid her tab, hollered goodnight to the others and grabbed her coat. As she was walking to leave Mike B. grabbed her arm. “Nadine!” He said excitedly.

“Hi Mike” she answered politely “how are you doing?”

“I am sitting at the bar, alone, clearly things are going great.” He said sarcastically through his eyes did look a little broken. 

“What, upset you can’t have Gordan here?” Nadine sassed right back. 

“No, I did some risky digging, and got myself in a position I can’t get out of… I lost a lot of contacts over it. Long story short, I might be out of a job.” Mike looked defeated.

“Who exactly do you work for anyway?” Nadine realized no one really knew what he did other that he could get information on just about anyone about anything.

“That’s not important, care for a drink?” He extended his arm to show the empty stool next his. “I could use the company.”

“Well, alright. I will pass on that drink, but I can join you for a few moments.” she said as she took the seat. The two talked and caught up, Nadine was watching over his shoulder to watch Blake sing. Before Nadine could stop him, Mike B. had bought her drink. “Mike, I don’t want this… I am already a little tipsy and I...” She pushed the glass away of her.

“Well I bought it, you should at least enjoy it.” He snapped at her, surprised that she was ungrateful about it. 

“Mike?” She asked softly before she reached for his arm “what is going on?”

“Nothing!” He yelled, the whole bar stopped and stared. “Why are you so dense? I have a shitty day, I get to see you, hope that my day improves only to have you clearly be closed off to my advances!” He kept yelling as Nadine shrank into the stool. “Do you have a God damn answer? I want to be with you Nadine, I don’t just want to be your friend.”

“Mike, No, please I don’t want this, or you.” She said trying to keep her voice from shaking. 

“There are so many things I want to be able to do to you.” His voice slithered to her ears. “I am sure you would be delicious, and bendable with that small frame.” She opened her mouth to speak, trying to get off the stool and run, the bartender was racing around the bar to try to restrain Mike as he yelled for security. Other bar goes tried to intervene. They were too late, he grabbed Nadine by the collar of her coat, pulling off the stool and kissed her, sloppy and wet. “Nadine, I think I love you.” and he kissed her again, dropping his free hand to her rear and forcing his tongue into her open mouth. The same mouth that was trying to scream ‘NO!”

Of all the things that passed through her lips this evening Mike B’s tongue was not one of the things she wanted. She felt tears welling up in her eyes as the bartender pulled Mike B off of her. Security was now involved. The staff ran to their chief of staff, hoping they could help. There was noise, Nadine was left in a fog. Mike B was yelling, demanding he be let go, yelling at Nadine for being a tease, and a whore. She was in shock, she was terrified, tears streaming down her cheeks as her staff, her friends, were around her. All Nadine could think about with Elizabeth, and how in one swift moment, she had ruined everything. 

“I need to leave” Nadine whispered. 

But Daisy caught her arm “Nadine, you are not okay, we can help,”

“Please,” Nadine practically sobbed “I just want to go home.” and she darted. Jumping into the first Uber she could and sped away to her apartment.

She sat in the back, tears streaming down her face, she felt gross. She also felt sick to her stomach. She barely was able to state her address to the driver. The Uber drive was a kind looking young man, blond hair puffing out from under a warm looking winter hat. 

“Ma’am, are you okay?” he spoke his voice was smooth as honey as he spoke, thick with a kind deep southern accent that could ripen a Georgia peach. He handed her a small pack of tissues from his coat pocket. Nadine didn’t speak but kept her head buried in her hands. “We don’t have to talk but it’s going to be okay Ma’am.”

Nadine looked up and accepted the small pack of tissues, better to use then her leather gloves. “I had a coworker of mine try to have his way with me… he forced himself on me even after I said no.” Nadine wasn’t sure why she was talking to this kid, but she couldn’t seem to stop the words from flowing. “I am afraid for what it means for my job, and…” she signed “my currently relationship” she unfolded a tissue and blew her nose as she choked on tears again.

“Ma’am, the fact that it happened is awful, I go to American University, I am a junior, I do this drive to make a few extra bucks so I can try to fly back home to Georgia for the holidays. I see gals from my campus get wrapped up in situations like that and I know the hardships it brings. If your partner cares for you, then they will help you. And if your job cares this guy will be fired. Ma’am, don’t keep quiet. Fight on. I have had my own friends quit the fight. That guy is a monster, you will take him down. Is there any way I can help?”

Nadine was shocked but the kind words, and she prayed this boy was right. “I need to shower and collect my thoughts. Thank you for your kind words.” The spent the rest of the drive in silence, Nadine was playing the event loop, trying to see how she let this happen. 

They approached Nadine’s building, the young blonde boy spoke quietly. “Ma’am, I was assaulted at a party because of being too kind, a gal I never knew or saw or have seen since. She did some unspeakable things that I haven’t even been able to tell my pastor. You are helping me fight my fight too. Have a good night now.” He started to adjust his hat clearly trying to distract himself from the words he just spoke.

“I will, you stay strong too. I believe in you too.” She said as she opened the door. “Goodnight” and walked to the front of her apartment, she gave the kid a generous tip, and scooted to her room. She had to wash off the events of the day, she had to figure out how to tell Elizabeth… she still felt so embarrassed, and so scared.


	3. Please, talk to me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nadine faces Elizabeth, expecting to lose everything however...

Tuesday came and went, the Secretary returned around 2pm, a little jet lagged but thrilled with the promise of a new treaty and eager to get back to work. Nadine worked hurriedly in her office, she didn’t leave it. She missed a meeting and had Blake run it. She didn’t want to look at others, she was embarrassed, people knocked on her door, she gave them quick answers but tried to do everything through email.

She felt like she had betrayed Elizabeth, she couldn’t explain why. But she felt not only would she lose this blooming friendship but probably her job. And she couldn’t face her until she had her story straight. The Secretary was busy anyways with meetings once she returned and Nadine was thankful for it.   
\-------

Wednesday afternoon, just shortly before everyone was going to go home Nadine saw an email from the Secretary asking to see her in her office around 7:30. With no further information, Nadine felt her heart race. She spent the next 2 hours stressing. 

6:30 rolled around and Nadine could not be idle and she was so stressed over the idea of losing Elizabeth she wanted it over, so slowly walked to the Secretary’s office and sheepishly knocked on the door. 

“Nadine, that better be you! Come in.” Without a word, Nadine did as she was told. She opened the door only to find Elizabeth standing immediately on the other side.  
“Ma’am, I…” Nadine tried to speak but Elizabeth held up her hand. 

“I heard from Blake, I need to know you are okay. I need you to know that I can help you.” Elizabeth said softly. “Here, have a seat” and she directed them to the couch. Once seated, Nadine noticed that Elizabeth had a few things on the table beside the couch other than the usual decanter, cookies and a small plushie pony were also there.

“I am sorry.” Nadine said finding herself choking on her words fighting tears. 

“Nadine, you have nothing to be sorry for, I believe you. Please.” She sounded like she was begging Nadine to understand that. “Here” Elizabeth reach for the pony and handed it to Nadine. “You don’t have your glasses to fidget with or a pen, so hold this.” 

Nadine knew she fidgeted, but was surprised Elizabeth had caught on. “He is adorable.” Nadine said softly. She thought back to the kid who drove her home. His words were echoing in her head ‘if they care about you they will help you…’and she was seeing that to be true.

“I feel like a plushie can do some good, since I can bring in an actual horse to make this better.” Elizabeth said with a gentle laugh. “Nadine, please talk to me.” Elizabeth scooted closer too Nadine.

Nadine took a slow breath, as she started to explain herself. “I was just leaving, I had a few glasses of wine and a shot with the staff, nothing out of the ordinary for me, I set my limit so I could leave early. And when I was leaving, Mike B. grabbed my arm and told me he was having a rough day because of some deep digging he kept talking about it and I looked over his shoulder to listen to Blake sing. He offered me a drink, well bought me a drink, a vodka soda, which I didn’t want so I pushed it away from me. He then yelled at me, demanded to know why I was refusing his advances and I should enjoy the drink. As I am trying to get off the stool and leave while he was yelling, and he grabbed me by my jacket and kissed me, hard and sloppy, then said he thought he loved me.” Nadine was fighting tears the more she spoke. “He kept yelling as he was pulled off me, saying I was a tease and I was a whore.” she buried her face in her hands “I was in a pants suit, with a winter trench coat how… how…I kept trying to yell ‘no’ and he didn’t stop.” She sobbed, reliving the moment in her moment in full detail. “Elizabeth, I am so sorry.” she muttered. 

Elizabeth looked at her in shock, there was more to the story then what Blake had saw and it mortified her. “Hey…” Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Nadine, pulling her in for a hug, wrapping her up tightly, wishing she could put all her pieces back together, it broke her heart to see her this way. “Nadine, there is nothing to apologize for.”

Nadine had her head pressed against Elizabeth’s shoulder, “I am just afraid I am going to lose my job… and you.” Nadine almost whispered as she sat up, looking Elizabeth squarely in the eyes. 

“Lose me?” Elizabeth questioned.

“I don’t want to lose my job or you, I feel like I betrayed you. I… I care about you in ways more than just being your Chief of Staff and I cherish that I…”

Elizabeth was taken aback and stopped Nadine “You did not betray me, you will not lose me, you will not lose your job, you will always be wanted and needed in more ways than you know.” She brought a hand to Nadine’s face to wipe away a rogue tear. “Nadine, you would have a hell of a time trying to get rid of me.” Elizabeth smiled as she said it.

“You say that…” Nadine responded, finding her own smile returning.

“I mean that, you and this department feel like home to me.” Elizabeth answered as she pulled at the top of the decanter. “Would you like some?”

“Just a splash; you know, I would have to say the same.” Nadine took the first deep breath she had taken since the incident. “It feels safe.” She took the glass of scotch from Elizabeth, which had a literal splash it, just enough to be a sip. “You took me literally.” Nadine said she smiled a little wider. She was right back where she wanted to be a sip of scotch on Elizabeth’s couch, sharing nothing but smiles, laughter, and stealing glances.

“A splash is a splash!” Elizabeth laughed. 

“I’m happy you are back.” Nadine said as she leaned against the couch, swirling the contents of her glass. 

“I am too, so tell me, what else did I miss while I was gone?” and the two jumped in right where they left off.


	4. She cares!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If they care about you, they will help you." Words to live by from a college kid driving and Uber.

“Elizabeth, I should probably head home. It is almost 8, and we haven't eaten dinner and cookies don’t count.” Nadine said as she started to stand. “Though I could keep talking all night long,”

“Even after hours you are the responsible one.” Elizabeth said jokingly. “But you are right. You can keep the stuffed pony, if you would like.” Elizabeth added. 

“I will keep him by my computer, I am sure he will help keep the staff in line.” Nadine smiled down at the pony in her hands, she knew she needed to leave but leaving was the last thing she wanted to do. At home she would be alone, right now she wanted to be with Elizabeth as long as she possibly could. She looked down at the stuffed animal in her hands, the smile that was wide across her face was starting to dim. She couldn’t bring herself to get off the couch. 

The silence was beginning to hang heavy in the air. Elizabeth took the pause to check an email on her phone from Blake only to roll her eyes at it and ignore it, the question could be addressed in person tomorrow. She looked over at Nadine, she was leaving the situation wide open.

“Nadine, you don’t have to leave.” Elizabeth tilted her head, she was determined to look Nadine in the eyes. 

“No, I… I…” But the voice of the once powerful Chief of Staff was deflated to an insecure nugget.

“Listen, I mean it, we can at least go grab a bite to eat?” Elizabeth had given up her guard took Nadine’s hand in hers as she spoke, rubbing gentle circles with her thumb. The slightest sensation sent a tingle up her arm, wow, Nadine thought. But she couldn’t speak, she felt locked in place, stuck. Embarrassed because she thought Elizabeth was just taking pity on her. “Nadine?”

“Elizabeth?” squeaked Nadine. “I don’t want to leave, I much rather be with you.” She reached her other hand to hold Elizabeth’s.

“Then stay with me.” Elizabeth dropped Nadine’s hands and brought them up to her face. “As long as you want.” Throwing caution to the wind, Elizabeth tilted Nadine’s head up so she could plant a gentle kiss on her lips. A kiss that was soft, warm, and inviting. Elizabeth felt her cheeks turning red as she pulled away only have Nadine lean forward to kiss her again. “Nadine…” Elizabeth felt her heart pounding, as her mind was racing. She felt a growing excitement, she felt giddy. 

Nadine felt like she was in a trance, feeling Elizabeth kiss her, the spark that sent a shock through her body, she felt ecstatic. She was opening her mouth trying to speak only she was rendered speechless. Thinking actions spoke louder than words, she grabbed Elizabeth’s collar and pulled her in for another kiss. This time, it was desperate and hungry. Elizabeth’s hands wandered as her lips chased Nadine’s. One hand grabbed a fist full if Nadine’s soft, messy brown curls while the other dropped to her hip. Nadine finally released the grip on Elizabeth’s collar and slide her hands down her front, tracing the line of buttons on Elizabeth’s blouse over her breasts and down to rest on her thighs. 

The pair parted, out of breath, a smile that was shared wide across their faces. Sitting before each other, with their foreheads pressed together. Bringing their heart rates back down to normal they started to peel their hands off each other. 

“So, you’ll stay? Just a little bit? We could get dinner maybe?” Elizabeth looked at Nadine like she was a high schooler asking out the girl of her dreams.

“Elizabeth it would be an honor.” She kissed her again, she felt addicted to her lips. Nadine didn’t even want to leave the office, she would rather stay lip locked with Elizabeth. “Maybe we can grab some pizza?” Nadine knew Elizabeth never turned down a chance to get pizza. 

“I swear you can read my mind, let’s go. I just need my coat. Then we can swing by your office and get yours stuff? I will let my motorcade know, so they are ready.” Grabbing her jacket and her bag, she reached out her hand to Nadine as they walked out of her office and to hers. “Ready?” 

Riding in the motorcade the new couple was trying to figure out just how much affection they could show. Which was sadly, none. But in the motorcade, it was open. Hand holding, kisses, giggles, and sweet nothings were all that filled the back seat. Until they got to a small pizzeria in downtown D.C.


	5. Come home with me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YASSSSS  
> Here we go, rather, here they go! 
> 
> What do you do when you finally get the chance to be with the woman you have only been dreaming of, and you both keep looking for reasons to stay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finals week is around the corner, so there is going to be a delay in the next chapter, stay tuned the next one should be up soon!  
> xx

As the pair finished what seemed like the world’s most amazing pizza, Elizabeth found herself offering before she could stop herself. “Nadine? Come home with me.” She was met with silence and a wide eye. “I mean, if you want. I don’t want to push with everything that has gone on this week, but with everything that has gone on this evening I would love it if you did.” She looked down at her pizza crust, if it was too much, then she would respect her decision and hoped they would still be able to go on another pizza date.

“Elizabeth, I would love you but I…” She trailed off as she saw Elizabeth shrink into the stool she was sitting on. “Need clean clothes for tomorrow. So, we need to stop at my apartment first, if you don’t mind.”

“Don’t trick me like that!” Elizabeth squealed as she sucked in a quick breath. “Jeez!” 

Nadine was laughing to the point she thought cola was going to come out of her nose. “Noted, the Secretary doesn’t handle jokes well.” She said sarcastically.

“Oh please, don’t ‘Secretary’ me after hours.” Elizabeth sassed back as she wrinkled her nose. “But that would be an easy stop, I don’t mind. What do we want to do? I know we are tiptoeing around this and it is outrageously exciting… But what do we do? I feel like there is so much about you I want to learn, and so many things I want to do with you, things that I wished to be able to do now might become a reality” Elizabeth winked as Nadine blushed so red it matched the pizza sauce. 

“I am easy to please, we could watch some TV or read a book then sleep. I have been so high strung these passed 48 hours that I really want to sleep.”

“All can be arranged, I have a guest room or mine is always an option we can settle once we get to my house in Georgetown.” Elizabeth lowered her voice as she said it, almost like she was afraid someone would hear her.

“Sounds perfect.” Nadine as she finished the last of her crust. 

Leaving a tip, the pair walked back to the motorcade to go to Nadine’s apartment. Nadine hopped out, and ran inside to grab a small bag and quickly pack. Elizabeth sat in the one of the black SUVs, there was no way this was inconspicuous but, there were times when Former Secretary Marsh would stop in. Elizabeth wondered about that. Thinking about how it must have felt for Nadine when she found out Marsh had passed. She couldn’t turn to anyone for help, her son had vanished, and she had pushed her family away over the relationship. 

Elizabeth started to feel hesitant, the only similarity was they were both Secretary of State, what if Nadine only had an interest in Elizabeth because of the title? Was she that much of a creature of habit? She couldn’t be, could she? Was she being used? The thoughts were racing around in Elizabeth’s head until remembered that first kiss she planted on Nadine’s lips just a few short hours ago, the kiss Nadine gave her in return. Elizabeth was head over heels for Nadine, and Nadine clearly felt the same. Elizabeth knew this was a conversation that would come up and she was not looking forward it. She started out the window thoughts rolling.

Nadine stood in her apartment, a small duffle sitting on her bed as she quickly threw in a pair of heels, slacks, a blouse, undergarments, bra, and pajamas. Along with any toiletries she would need. She took a moment to sit on the edge of her bed, and collect her thoughts. She was about to go to Elizabeth’s house, who also happened to be her boss. She was so excited, she looked around her room to make sure she would have all she needed. She paused when she saw a small trinket on her window sill, something Marsh had given her on one of his diplomatic missions. It was engraved with their initials. She picked it up and rolled it in her hand. At the time she was touched, looking back she was bullied and she never knew what attraction was until Elizabeth. She picked up the trinket and snapped it in half. She finally felt free, she thought about the feeling of Elizabeth’s lips, and her hands on her body. How perfect it was. 

She grabbed her bag, she locked her door behind her and trotted down the stairs to the front of her building and saw the motorcade still wait as she left it. Elizabeth’s blank gaze was halted by seeing Nadine and her curls bouncing to the SUV. God, she was beautiful she thought. Nadine jumped in and kissed Elizabeth “Hey.” She said excitably.

“Hey you, all set?” 

“Oh yes.”

The motorcade drove off to Georgetown, and the pair was fairly quiet. “Nadine?” Elizabeth asked, she didn’t look up from her folded hands in her lap to see if Nadine was about to speak. “I just have to ask, my position as Secretary has nothing to do with this, I am not just filling a hole for you, right?” She pointed to the two of them “I just… I just need to check.” Elizabeth looked so afraid of what her answer would be.

“Elizabeth, your position as Secretary and my position as Chief of Staff have nothing to do with any of this, the only benefit these titles have is that it allowed us to meet.” Nadine understood Elizabeth’s hesitation, it broke her heart, but she did. “Elizabeth, I… I… I am sorry if at any point I made you think that.” she took the blame in full, she felt her heart sink to the bottom of her stomach and sit like a rock. She looked at Elizabeth, who was staring at her folded hands on her lap, biting her lower lip. A telltale tick, the she was nervous, it was something Nadine had picked up early on. Elizabeth nodded her head up and down slowly before taking a deep breath and looking over at Nadine. 

Nadine had her lips pressed together to keep them from quivering. It was just as she had told Elizabeth last week. She would never be able to get away from her affair with former Secretary Marsh and at this point it seemed like karma was out to get her. “Elizabeth.” Nadine unintentionally choked on her words as she fought her tears. “Elizabeth, if it means anything, I care about you, I want to be more than your Chief of Staff, I want to hold your hand and walk around the National Mall, I want to travel for things that aren’t just diplomatic missions with you, I want to share stories and laughs, I want spend holidays together, I want date nights that are pizza and a movie or traveling to somewhere grand, I want to know everything and everything about you and tell you everything about me. Elizabeth, I want to be all yours because you allow me to… to… be me.” Nadine felt her world flip and unravel around her, again, as she waiting in the silence for a response watching Elizabeth’s every move, waiting to be told that they were dropping Nadine back at her apartment instead.

“I want to be yours Nadine, all yours. You honestly amaze me Nadine.” Elizabeth whispered as she searched Nadine’s reddening face. “This scares me, the relationship thing, it has been so long I am not sure I even know how to do the whole romantic thing. I also have never had a girlfriend before either.” Elizabeth stopped fidgeting with her phone and took Nadine’s hands. “Nadine, I care about you too, I am nervous with this budding relationship, I was nervous that… that there was another motive, my love life in the past was painful, I have had my heart shattered so badly that I... It was my fault for not trusting you, and my fault for letting my nerves get ahead of me. I want this, Nadine, I want you!”

“To us” Nadine squeezed Elizabeth’s hands but she couldn’t stop her voice from sounding like she was pleading. 

“To a new start.” Elizabeth broke into a smile.

“To this…” Nadine leaned in and kiss Elizabeth’s lips. 

Elizabeth pulled away “To exactly that” and kissed Nadine with a determination that said everything Nadine needed to know exactly how she felt of her, in love. Nadine could only hope that her kiss said the same. 

“I’m sorry” Nadine said.

“I am sorry too.” Elizabeth answered. “Let’s keep going and having a little bit of fun to night?” 

“That would be terrific.”

The ride continued, back with peaceful giggles and stories being told. Nadine felt her heart rate return to normal. Elizabeth finally felt like she and the answer she needed, and that answer was Nadine.

They arrived in front of Elizabeth’s home around 10 o’clock, a regal Georgetown home, a townhouse waited for them. The motorcade idled in front and as Elizabeth and Nadine scooted out. Elizabeth leaded the way up to the door and let them both in. Nadine had never been to Elizabeth’s house, granted she assumed it would be something grand and beautiful but when she walked inside she felt cozy. The house was warm with portraits of Elizabeth and her horses, her family and friends, and more of her horses. 

“It’s not the cleanest considering I was not expecting company, but, this is home!” Elizabeth said as she opened her arms invitingly to Nadine. “Follow me, I will show you around, and we can throw your bag in the guest room, for now.” 

After the grand tour, Nadine sat on Elizabeth’s couch, snug in pajamas with a book in her hands, with feet thankful to be out of the heels they had been wearing all day. Elizabeth skipped down the stairs and slide in her socks to the couch as she made the entrance and jumped onto the couch next to her. “Whatcha reading?” Elizabeth asked as she wiggled so she was laying her head on Nadine’s lap. 

“An autobiography of…” 

Elizabeth cut her off “that sounds outrageously boring.” 

“I truly enjoy reading about powerful women! You are one, you should appreciate them.” Nadine said a little confused.

“Oh I do, I mean, to read them before bed! I enjoy a good cliffhanger or romance or crime drama… granted I am rereading Richard Castle’s books for the 3rd time so…” Elizabeth trailed off as she realized she sounded a little childish, but she didn’t care she was goofy and tired, but she had Nadine.  
“Never read it, you should let me borrow it sometime.” Nadine said as she folded the book and leaned forward to kiss Elizabeth. Her hair fell around them as she kissed her. They smiled at one another. Something about all of this. This peaceful evening, a warm home, tangle around one another felt so comfortable, so natural. Nadine felt like she needed to start counting her blessings. “So, what do you want to do now?”


	6. I promised you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How far would you go to protect someone you love?
> 
> A night of bliss, turns into a morning of ease and stolen kisses, the afternoon is a blood bath because no one hurts Nadine and Elizabeth will plow anyone into the ground that tries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the break! This was fun to write! Please let me know what y'all think. There will be more coming.

“I have an idea.” Elizabeth said as she brought her body up so she was sitting next to Nadine. She swung a leg over Nadine’s lap and started to kiss her aggressively. Holding a fist full of hair as her tongue danced with Nadine’s. Nadine brought her hands to Elizabeth’s butt and gave it a squeeze as she scooted her closer. The kisses became faster and hands started to wonder. Nadine felt a surge that seemed to travel all the way from her core to her finger tips. She took a chance and slid her hands under the Red Hot Chili Peppers t-shirt Elizabeth was wearing. Tracing up her lean figure, only to discover that Elizabeth was braless, Nadine gently cupped each breast, causing Elizabeth to suck in a quick breath as she pulled away. Nadine was a little tentative, did she move to fast? Only she was met with a grinning face. “Just took me by surprise.” Elizabeth found herself chuckling as she took the invitation to unbutton Nadine’s pajama top to find her still in a bra. “This won't do, now will it?” Nadine arched her back off the couch to allow Elizabeth easy access.

“No, not at all.” Nadine whispered against her lips. Quickly free from her bra, Nadine felt Elizabeth’s gentle touch trace her breast. It had been so long since Nadine had felt the loving tender touch of another, she melted against Elizabeth’s touch, moving like putty as she felt her heart race. Lips clashed, hands roamed, and Elizabeth hadn’t even realized her hips were slowing starting to grind against Nadine’s. But Nadine noticed. Sucking in a quick breath as her hands gripped Elizabeth’s hips and started to guide them in their motion. 

Elizabeth felt her whole body turning warm, like a pulse of electricity was radiating out from her core. She let her kiss travel down Nadine’s cheek and neck, gentle kisses becoming sharp nibbles. Nadine swore under her breath. It was intoxicating she could have sworn she was seeing stars. 

“Elizabeth, please, the whole office will see me with a hickey.” Nadine mumbled. “I don’t even think I care.”

Elizabeth retreated, stopping her movements and cupping Nadine’s face. “It is hopefully left in a spot where it well it be covered.” She was gazing over Nadine’s face, just happy to be surrounded by the perfect woman before her. “You amazing me Nadine” she gave Nadine a quick kiss.

“Elizabeth, you are incredible.” Nadine replied. 

Elizabeth rolled off Nadine, as her knee popped “Crap, why am I old.”

“Oh please. I spent the start of my life as a dancer, I am not as flexible as you would think I should be.” Nadine said with a laugh. She scooted next to Elizabeth and placed her head on her shoulder taking in a long slow breath. Something about this moment, sitting with Elizabeth, the world was quiet, and the only focus Nadine had was the woman next to her. Diplomacy could wait, the world could wait, the nonsense with Mike B. was nothing more than a blip in her past. Although she was sure Elizabeth would derail his entire career. She looked forward to that meeting. Elizabeth put her arm around Nadine’s shoulders and kissed the top of her head. In a single moment, nothing would be more perfect than this.

“I would like to recommend that we head to bed soon, however you are the responsible one… So, I’ll let you choose.” Elizabeth said lazily, Nadine could hear it in her voice that she was tired, and so was she. 

“I agree, though I feel like could fall asleep right here.” She turns her head up to kiss Elizabeth’s waiting lips and smiled. “Elizabeth? I have something strange to ask.”

“You could say you need a kidney and I would hand deliver it for you, what's up?”

“The situation with Mike B. I know he is coming in for a meeting with you, I just wanted to know if….” She trailed off before continuing a little softer “if he will get some kind of punishment for his action, or if I need to take a long lunch.” Nadine looked down and started playing with Elizabeth’s fingers that were interlocked with hers. 

“Hey, I will talk business, then call you into my office and I will literally tear him apart. I will also remove him from being associated with the State Department. There are plenty of others out there that would kiss the ground you and I walk on to make diplomacy happen. I don’t need to work with someone I can’t trust. Only if you want to be present, it will be a bloodbath, no one hurts you, Nadine, and gets away with it.”

Nadine melted, she was being protected, the look on Elizabeth’s face as she made Nadine her promise. There was a deep sincerity that Nadine somehow caught her off guard. She buried herself in Elizabeth’s neck, wrapping her arms around her “thank you” She mumbled

“Nadine” Elizabeth whispered in a low, breathy tone. “I would do anything for you. I mean that.” She shifted so she could pick up Nadine’s chin so she could look at her. “I really do.” As she planted a soft kiss. “Let’s head to bed?” Standing Elizabeth offered Nadine her hand, which she took. “So… guest bed or?”

“I think you know the answer, lead the way.” Nadine said with a soft smile. 

The two disappeared into Elizabeth’s room, laying side by side. Snuggled cozy under blankets and for once feeling like they actually had a good night’s sleep.

The next morning arrive, Elizabeth and Nadine woke at first surprised and thankful to see the other was still right beside them. Dressing, fixing hair, making breakfast, and stealing kisses, made the morning feel like it was just another morning. Elizabeth’s mind was racing, she was going to rip Mike B. apart and she wanted her words to be just right. Rolling the thoughts over in her head, she was stopped by Nadine. 

“Hey” But before Elizabeth could respond, Nadine stole a kiss, then another, and another. They were just about to leave and all she could think about was how desperately she wanted to make out with her. Elizabeth gladly returned the kiss dropping her hands to reach for Nadine’s rear. 

“Hey.” She answered bewildered. “We should go, because if we don’t I…” She looked Nadine over, remembering what she looked like standing in just a bra and underwear while getting dressed. Taking a slow breath “I know what is beneath that blouse, and I really want to see it again.” 

“Patience” Nadine squeezed her hands, “I promise.” 

The pair jumped in the motorcade, working out a story as to why they came in together. And why so early.

It was 1 o’clock in the afternoon, it was time for Mike B. to meet with the Secretary regarding some digging he did. To get to the Secretary’s office, he had to pass Nadine’s. Nadine was ready, she was stationed in her comfy chair reading through a dense binder, looking up at anyone who passed. Mike B. walked by and looked inside, only to see Nadine glaring into his soul. He quickened his pace to get out of site. 

Nadine felt her heart pound, she had just looked her attacker in the eyes for the first time since the event. She felt so small and nervous. What if Elizabeth took his side? What if she thought she was lying and he was telling the truth? She shook the thought, Elizabeth meant everything to her, and Elizabeth said the same to her. She would stick up for her…

1:20 and Nadine was knocking on the Secretary’s door.

“Come in!” Nadine heard through the door and was nervous. Her… girlfriend? Although they had not discussed titles yet… Her Elizabeth, her perfect Elizabeth, and her attacker in the same room, she had to be normal. “Oh great, it’s you Nadine!” Mike B. was turning darker and darker shades of red the closer Nadine was getting to the desk.

“Mike B. was just discussing some interesting findings on the Russians.” Elizabeth was acting calm, cool, and collected. Nadine followed her lead. With files splayed across her desk, it was clear she had been buying time, asking specific questions, waiting for Nadine to come in. 

“Well that is great.” Nadine smiled as she took the other seat in front of the Elizabeth’s desk. 

“Now, the next order on our agenda.” She paused to look like she was thinking, she had both hands on her desk as she started to lean over it. “Mike, why are you so red? Care to explain why you thought assaulting my Chief of Staff was a good idea? Why you thought not only embarrassing yourself, her, and the State Department at a bar was appropriate?” Her voice was getting louder, and it was clear she was pissed. “Mike B. I demand an answer!” 

Mike B. sank into the chair he was seated in “I was not expecting to get ambushed for coming to this office to do the job you hired me for.”

“Wrong answer” Elizabeth snapped she glanced over at Nadine, her sweet Nadine, sitting directly next to the man that caused her world to fall apart. Nadine’s eyes welled with tears as she cheeks grew pink, she was keeping it together but not for much longer. 

“In my defense I was pretty drunk and just needed to unwind, and I have a thing for Nadine. The whole Department knows I do, but she apparently didn’t. And because Nadine…” Mike B. was trying to establish he was not at fault, that it was Nadine’s fault. Elizabeth would not have it.

“Said no.” she glared at him as she cut him off. “Because Nadine said no, because Nadine wanted to only be your friend. Because Nadine has given her heart to someone else.” Elizabeth slammed her palm on her desk. “You took advantage of one of my staff, I don’t care if you were drunk, I don’t care if you fancy her. She told you no and you forced yourself on her. You called her names, and yelled, you had to be pulled off her by security.” Elizabeth slowed her roll, hating the next sentence she was about to say. “You call her a whore for not returning your advances.” 

Mike B. stopped stuttering, he had been trying to get a few words on imaginary innocence since Elizabeth started. “I didn’t know she was seeing someone.” Was all he could say. 

“Really!?” Elizabeth yelled. “That is all you have to say?” At this point she was yelling and she didn’t care if the whole department heard. 

Mike B. turned towards Nadine “Nadine I am sorry for…” 

“Enough.” Nadine cut him off, her words were sharp and pointed “you do NOT get to apologize for what you did. You will not be forgiven” Elizabeth watched her standing her ground as much as her little heart could handle.

“Nadine I…” Mike B. tried again.

“You destroyed me, I almost lost everything because of you!” she said as steady as she shaking voice would allow. At this point the tears for flowing as she was telling him off. It broke Mike B. in half, just as the two has hoped. 

“Elizabeth, you have to understand I” Mike B. was trying so hard to defend himself.

“Understand what, that it was never your fault? Let me guess, I should really be blaming my beloved Chief of Staff?” Mike B. nodded, he really was trying to prove he was guilt free. “What the hell is wrong with you!” Elizabeth was red as she yelled. 

“It is her fault, if she had just said ‘yes’ this would be different.” Mike B. squeaked out. Nadine looked terrified, she was as pale as a ghost. Her heart sank, she looked at Elizabeth with eyes begging for this to end, pleading her own innocence. 

Elizabeth put a hand up, “I am on Nadine’s side. Mike, get out of my office, your services will no longer be needed within the State Department, any materials used during your time here will be collected as to not become leaked, any information leaked that can be traced back to you will result in legal action.” Mike B. was dumbfounded, he was just fired by M. Sec. he did not have words to defend himself he just stared. “Out, now.” Elizabeth walked around her desk, she placed a hand on Nadine’s shaking shoulder as she walked passed. Following Mike B. out the door she yelled over at Blake. “Hand him his termination notice please.” She nodded and smiled at Blake who looked relieved to never associate with Mike B. again and was happy to be the one to hand over the termination documents.

Elizabeth closed the door and quickly walked back to Nadine. Nadine stood and practically leapt into Elizabeth’s arms. “Thank you.” she whispered as tears started to soak Elizabeth’s satin blouse. 

Elizabeth hugged her tightly. “I promised you. No one will ever hurt you, I will always be here for you.” She whispered into Nadine’s hair. The stood quietly. Both coming down from this outrageous moment, catching their breath and wiping their tears. Blake popped his head in and gave them a thumbs up and offered tissues. It was done. “Nadine, never again will you have to work with him. I promise.”

The pair kissed, now they could have the relationship they wanted, now Nadine was free. “I can’t believe you did that for me.”

“I could not work with someone who tried to take advantage of you and I couldn’t work with someone I can’t trust.” Elizabeth said sincerely taking a step back to hold onto Nadine’s shoulders. “How are you feeling? You kept it together, you were strong, and I think you snapped him in half.” 

“I don’t actually remember what happened once I started speaking. I just know that I was seeing red, and the one thing keeping me all there was having you there with me.” Nadine took another breath and wiped the remaining tears from her face. “So now what?” She asked more as a filler than anything, she wanted to deflate into her office chair or on to a couch, she felt exhausted.

“I am going to send you home, and I will meet you there once I am done here, if that works for you?” Elizabeth smiled as she spoke.

“Of course, though I am not sure what people will think with your motorcade in front of my building.” Nadine squared her shoulders, slowly feeling her confidence returning. 

“We can figure out the rest on the fly. Now go unwind, we won this one babe.” With a final kiss, they parted, Elizabeth returned to her desk and Nadine walked out of the office. The thought of Elizabeth calling her ‘Babe’ making her heart sing.

As she rounded the corner she was met by Blake who shot out of his chair. “Nadine.” He said quickly.

“Yes, Blake.” She said trying to keep voice steady as it usually would have it.

“Thank you, you took down Mike B. you saved a lot of us.” Nadine looked at him with wide eyes. “He has done something that has affected all of us. But nothing in comparison to what he did to you.” Blake’s shot to the floor as he finished his sentence. 

“Blake, what did he do?” Nadine was now concerned.

“He has made advances on me, said what he would do to me if he ever got me alone that I had to leave the room. He said something similar to Matt too. Daisy has had to deal with a few poor choices of words from him regarding a dress she wore… and there have been others. Nadine, when we saw it happening we ran to you, but he was already...”

Nadine held up her hand to stop him, Blake was now rambling and trying to get as much detail into his sentences as he could without messing or tripping over his words. “I am glad you told me, I will make the Secretary aware of this.” Blake nodded “I am going to go home I just…”

“I am sure you are exhausted, but you are kind of like a hero to me now. “Blake said matter of fact. Then returned to his seat. 

Nadine patted his shoulder as she walked passed to go back to her office to gather her things. She was shock by the number of thumbs up and applause she received on the walk. Once in her office, she let the quiet surround her. Enjoying the peace that settled in the air and the feeling of freedom that she felt opening before her. Putting on her coat, and getting her bag, she walked to the elevator. Only to be met by the Secretary. “Ma’am?” Nadine almost called her Elizabeth.

“Just making sure you made it out in one piece, plus I was just called to the White House, figured I could walk with you a little of the way.” She nudged Nadine. “I heard some applause after you left, what was that about?”

They stepped into the elevator and Nadine explained “I was told by Blake, that Mike B. has made some inappropriate advanced to other staffers, too much hands, poor choice in words with compliments that were not really compliments. But he never acted on his words to any of the other staffers until it came to me, he apparently had made Blake so uncomfortable that Blake had to leave the room.” Nadine looked over at Elizabeth as they rode down to the ground floor. 

“I have never seen this side of him until this all unfolded and I can honestly say that I am never knew he had it in him to do it… You would think in all the years I had known him I would have seen some part of this instead… I wish I had known!” Elizabeth said as she shook her head. “Well, I will see you in a little bit, barring any international crisis.”

Elizabeth leaned in and captured Nadine’s lips for a quick kiss that Nadine felt was far too short. “See you in a bit babe.” Both stepped out of the elevator but Elizabeth was met by her detail and shuffled her into the waiting vehicles. Nadine fished out her car keys, it would not be the first time she left her car parked in the garage overnight, it was safer than the parking lot her apartment had, and many times after a late night, taking a taxi home was better than driving through the congested network of DC exhausted.


	7. I have to tell you something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ITS GETTING HOT IN HERE, so hot, SO TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES!  
> I am kidding, but this get steaming, take a new step, and I am sorry it took so long.

Stepping into her Volvo, she turned up the music and began to sing along, leaving the garage, she saw Mike B. running after her car yelling. Nadine drove away and proceeded to call Elizabeth and left a message. “Hey, it’s me. I just wanted you to know that Mike B. was in the garage and is currently chasing after my car. I am not too concerned, I just want you and the rest of the staff to know. See you soon.” She drove, twisting her way around DC making sure she was not to be followed. She had a text pop up on her car’s display that says “Mike B. was found in the garage, chasing your car. Local PD has him. See you soon!” with that, she went home, all she could think was that a nice bath was waiting for her. 

Around 6:00 Nadine heard a knock on her door. She was sitting at her kitchen table, with her computer in front of her, she had been attempting to edit notes Blake had taken from the meeting she missed it on Tuesday. But he was so detailed there was not much change. Setting down her tea she walked over to check the peephole. It was Elizabeth. Quickly opening the door Nadine was not only greeted by the warm smile of Elizabeth, but a bundle of flowers. “Elizabeth!” Nadine was so excited as she dragged the woman through the door.

“Hey! These are for you, and can I just say you look great in those jeans.” Nadine stood before her in jeans and a hoodie with her alma mater on it. 

Nadine took the flowers to put them in some water and set them on her table. “Why, thank you for both the compliment and the flowers. I was not expecting you so soon! I was working on editing meeting minutes.” arranging the flowers how she liked she turned back to Elizabeth who was looking around the room “This is my apartment, not bad?” she questioned as Elizabeth looked around the near perfect room, everything clean and perfectly organized. 

“Nadine this is amazing.” She looking at pictures of Nadine with other nations leaders and the incredible places she had been to and even some of her performing. Elizabeth paused as Nadine grabbed her arm, and kissed her for all she was worth. 

“Want a tour?” the pair walked through the apartment, Elizabeth was amazed at all the collectible pieces Nadine had from her travels. “What shall we do tonight?”

“The choice is yours, I am just relieved to see you are doing well.” Elizabeth said she took her coat off and sat on the couch. “I am not sure what Mike B. was waiting for you, but I am glad it did not end poorly. The police are dealing with him, I got a call from Blake explaining why security was all over the 7th floor. Then I got your message. What a day.”

Sitting next to Elizabeth who was coming from a work, she felt incredibly under dressed. “We could order in and watch a movie?” Nadine offered “I just want to be mellow, my brain needs to turn off for a little bit before it burns out and needs to be put on ice.” She laughed. 

Nadine placed the order in for a little Greek place not far from her apartment as Elizabeth scrolled for a movie. Settling on a pick she hoped she would like, they talk about the events of the day. “I can’t believe I yelled to the point that I could be heard by others.” She had joked as took over her blazer. 

“Elizabeth I never saw you that angry, and I thought I had seen anger from you when you are dealing with Prime Ministers or leaders when they fall back on their word. You were like a lioness ready to kill.” Nadine said as she gathered two wine glasses from her kitchen. “You shrunk him down and literally tore him apart. I have to admit, it was a bit sexy how the start just slithered out and coiled around him. I knew in that moment he was going to crake and it was over for him.” 

“I was seeing red.” Elizabeth shook her head. “I wanted to rip out his throat. But I think it all went well?”

“It most definitely did.” Nadine handed her a glass of white wine and returned to her seat. Elizabeth stared into her glass. Her mind was racing with something she desperately wanted to tell Nadine, she wanted to tell her she loved her, and that she had loved her for quite some time. But it was not the time, yet, she felt the three little words were right on the tip of her tongue. “So” Nadine derailed Elizabeth’s thought “tell me about this movie.”

The pair watched ‘The Greatest Showman” and enjoyed their meals.

At the end of the movie, Nadine attacked Elizabeth with kisses, knocking her back on the couch. Nadine had been desperate to kiss her for all she was worth, and now she finally had her chance. “Let me know when you make it home.” Nadine said more as a demand than anything else.

“Of course, babe.” Elizabeth answered a Nadine walked with her to her door. “I will see you in the morning.” She leaned into give her a goodbye goodnight kiss. 

Their lips lingered “Goodnight.” Nadine had to say in order allow Elizabeth to leave, she wanted to beg her to stay with her. 

“Goodnight.” And Elizabeth was on her way. As she walked with her security to the elevator, she received a text.

‘Miss you already’ 

She broke into a smile and knew she was the luckiest girl alive. 

\--

It had been two months bliss, two months of perfection, two months of nothing but time together and work. Finding the balance between work and play was a lot easier than either of them had thought. No one seemed to catch wind of their relationship within the seventh floor. 

It was just another morning where Nadine met Elizabeth at the elevator and walked with her to her office, discussing the plan for the day, Blake would meet Elizabeth as she passed his desked and would hand her a coffee or a binder or sometimes both. Elizabeth would continue into her office with Nadine, close the door and greet her with a true good morning smooch. 

They would go about their busy work days and meet back in Elizabeth’s office where they would either go for dinner, go to each of the other’s homes, logistically if there was any staying over for the night, it was done at Elizabeth’s. Having a government motorcade in front of Nadine’s apartment would bring way too many questions. 

Tonight, was going to be just like any other night, but Nadine had something in mind for Elizabeth and she wanted it to be special. It was just getting warmer and the sun was staying out longer. So, the pair took a walk around the National Mall, even though they had both seen the sites dozens of times, it was fun to marvel in the history of their great nation together. With the sun mostly set, the monuments light like beacons, leaving the lawns around them dark. They walked hand in hand up from the WW2 memorial toward the Washington Monument. This empty space meant they were not drawing too much attention from the people around them. 

Nadine stopped in her tracks, still hold Elizabeth’s hand. “Elizabeth?” Elizabeth stopped to look at her. “There is something that I want to tell you…” Before Elizabeth had the chance to speak, Nadine kept going. “Elizabeth Adams, I love you. I…” 

Elizabeth wasn’t listening to what Nadine was babbling as she turned pink. Elizabeth just heard her girlfriend say three little words she had wanted to say since day one. She stopped Nadine with a kiss. “I love you too, Nadine Tolliver. I always have and I always will.” Nadine threw her arms around Elizabeth’s neck and kissed her back. 

The pair embraced. Hugging each other tightly. The noise of DC was fading away stared at the monument together. “I will never forget this moment” Nadine whispered as they stared at the Washington Monument.

Elizabeth put her arm around Nadine and pulled her in close. This was something Elizabeth never knew she was looking for. “Neither will I.” Elizabeth answered. 

Making their way back to the path they released hands… to much public attention would be drawn to them. But they felt like giddy kids. “Let’s celebrate, we can grab a drink then head to Georgetown?” They changed their path from the motorcade to a nearby bar. Just a simple drink, it wasn’t like anyone from the 7th floor would be around!

The celebration did not stop there. Tipsy, they got back into the motorcade and cruised to Elizabeth’s house. They barely made it in the door before Elizabeth pulled Nadine by her coat and kissed her. Pushing her so her back was pressed against the front door. Elizabeth pinned her beneath her body, as Nadine met every kiss and moved like putty to follow Elizabeth’s touch. Nadine’s fingertips traced Elizabeth’s figure under her coat, following the gentle curves as she traveled down her side, to her hips, to her rear. 

The lights were not even on yet, they could only see each other through the pale street light glow coming in through the office windows. “Nadine” Elizabeth whispered her name, soft and smooth, her tone holding on to the ‘e’, a little to long for it just be a summoning or a name call. It was that of wonder, amazement, and love. It shook Nadine to her core. “You are beautiful.”

“And you are perfect, Elizabeth” Nadine murmured against Elizabeth’s lips. “Lead the way?” she offered as she retreated to try to get a full look at Elizabeth. Nadine could feel her chest rising and falling with each nervous breath under her hands, Nadine was sure her own face was within some many shades of red. Elizabeth looked at her wide eyed, and excited as she fought a smile. 

Taking a few steps backward she took Nadine’s hands in hers. Swiftly the pair started to make their way to Elizabeth’s bedroom. Shedding their coats on the couch. Elizabeth let out a squeal as Nadine squeezed her butt as they bolted up the stairs. 

Through the doorway, a twisted knot of lips, hands, arms led their way through the room and onto the bed. The pair stopped take off shoes. Elizabeth sat on the edge of her bed and watch Nadine kick off her heels, “You sure you want to do this?”

Nadine walked up to her and held her face in her hands “Do you want to do this?” Nadine asked, but it wasn’t really a question. She wanted to be the closest she had ever been to Elizabeth. “Because this is something I have only been able to dream about.”

“Oh, God, yes.” Elizabeth said quickly as Nadine pushed her back on the bed and straddled her. The pair fell back. Nadine placed her hands on Elizabeth’s cheeks as she kissed her. What had started through the front door as a flurry of kisses and lust, was now a slow, smooth, and a thoughtful path of passion. Each kiss was careful, as they both worked to contain their excitement. This was a moment both of them wanted to cherish. Nadine retreated when she felt Elizabeth’s lips breaking into a smile. 

“It is a little hard to kiss you if you keep smiling.” Nadine said softly. Although she did say that through a grin. 

“Nadine I…” Elizabeth paused as she become lost on Nadine’s dark brown eyes. “I can’t believe it is all.” 

Nadine felt herself blush as Elizabeth looked at her completely star struck. “Well, you are Secretary of State, you could get any girl you wanted.” Nadine said cheekily. 

“Oh, please, there is only one girl for this Secretary and it’s you, it’s always been you. I love you.” Elizabeth’s fingers made quick work on the buttons on Nadine’s blouse exposing a lacy bra beneath it. Elizabeth’s finger tips traced up Nadine’s sides, drawing the lines of her body, brushing her breasts as she made her way to Nadine’s shoulders to slide of the blouse. Nadine stood so she could remove better toss the blouse to a nearby chair. She offered her hand for Elizabeth to join her. Standing before Nadine, Elizabeth’s eyes started roaming Nadine’s petite figure. Nadine’s slowly untied the loosely bow that sat on Elizabeth’s collar, and made meticulous work of each button, feeling Elizabeth’s chest rise and fall with each quick breath as she did. Shaking the shirt off her shoulders, and tossing it. Nadine turned to see Elizabeth was already stepping out of her skirt and stockings. Nadine did the same, fumbling with her own belt and slacks. 

“Well hello sexy.” Nadine said sincerely. “You look stunning” she wrapped her arms around Elizabeth’s neck.

“I can say the same about you, you look amazing.” Elizabeth slide her hands around Nadine’s waist. Drifting down her butt and pulling her in closer. The pair returned to their lip locked embrace. Only being a little rougher, teeth pulling on lower lips, and tangling tongues. As Elizabeth slide Nadine’s undergarments over her hips to the floor, Nadine made with a simple flick of her wrist had Elizabeth’s bra undone and pushed it over her shoulders. Both nude, Nadine pushed Elizabeth back on the bed and then scooted up to the pillows. “No” Elizabeth sat up to stop Nadine, “I want you to feel amazing first.” Elizabeth sheepishly didn’t want to admit that she had never done this and needed to make sure she had a clear head. 

Rolling onto her back, Nadine gave no protest. She was lost in the fluid movement of Elizabeth as she threw a leg over and sat up tall. Reaching her arms out to gently hold on to Nadine’s breasts. Squeezing them, and tracing her thumb over her perky nipples. Nadine sucked in a quick breath, Elizabeth took notice at how responsive Nadine could be. She leaned down and kissed Nadine’s lips starting slow but each kiss grew a little faster, and a little rougher. Her lips traveled to the base of Nadine’s neck, she kissed and sucked the tender area. There was nothing hotter to Elizabeth then having Nadine whimper out her name, and a low string of expletives. She brought her head back to see the small red mark she had left, not to big, but just enough to be a reminder, a mark, a claim. Nadine’s head was tossed to the side, her breathing was already quick. 

Elizabeth leaned forward to kiss Nadine’s open mouth, “I love you” she whispered against she lips.

“I love you too” Nadine wanted to return the kiss, only to have Elizabeth’s kisses travel down her chest, her mouth taking in nipple, teasing it with her tongue while she rolled the other with the pads of her fingers. Nadine arched her back, it had been so long since she was touched and handled this way that she was already seeing stars. Elizabeth kissed her way down her core. Positioning herself between Nadine’s legs. Her fingers tracing the short curly hair, marveling in just how wet and ready Nadine was. She put a single finger inside Nadine’s pussy, slowly pumping it as she slid in another. Two fingers working on finding that perfect spot, there. She found it, Nadine’s hips bucked. Elizabeth shifted so she could taste her. Her tongue making quick work of her clit while her fingers where pumping in and out. 

Nadine pulled at the pillow over her head, “Elizabeth… I am…” She was trying to keep she hips still, but she couldn’t the sensation of orgasm was building in her core. “FUck” her walls tightened around Elizabeth’s active fingers. She moaned out Elizabeth’s name as she felt herself soaring and her heart racing. Elizabeth licked every last drop before reaching for a tissue to clean her fingers and face. Nadine pulled her in to kiss her aggressively, she was spent, she was excited, she was over the moon. “Wow” was all she was able to get out. Panting as she tried to collect her thoughts. How did Elizabeth know exactly how to make her explode? She had been with how many partners? And none of them made her feel this way. Without skipping a beat, she pushed Elizabeth’s shoulders down to the bed. “My turn.”

“Just… no hickey? I have to meet…” 

Elizabeth had no time to finished, before Nadine’s mouth flew over hers. Nadine could taste herself on Elizabeth’s lips. Her lips travelled, “I just won’t leave a mark is all. But I still get tease a little.” Nadine said as she kissed Elizabeth’s shoulder, gently nibbling and sucking just enough to tease, just enough to make Elizabeth beg. She moved her way to her breasts, kneading and teasing each nipple giving both the attention they deserve. Nadine liked holding and fondling Elizabeth’s breasts, they were full and round, and felt nice in her grasp.

“Nadine. Please.” Elizabeth whimpered. “Please. I just, I just want to cum. I can’t handle being teased, not after seeing you…” She trailed off as she moaned “ugh, yes!” She nearly yelled as Nadine pinched her nipple. 

“As you wish” she said as kisses wondered in a straight line from between her breasts to the neatly trimmed pussy before her. Her lips engulfing Elizabeth’s clit making her hips buck. Nadine wasted no time, sliding two fingers into Elizabeth’s pussy. Elizabeth started to swear under her breathe. Her fingers pumped against Elizabeth’s warms walls as she squirmed. Only to stop, and have her tongue replace her fingers. Elizabeth let out a moan and a few swears. Nadine’s talented tongue worked Elizabeth pussy as her hands reached up to toy with her nipples. 

“Nadine I…” and with an unexpected pinch. “Nadine... NadINE” she practically shrieked. She felt a shock ride from her core out to her breasts and down to her pussy, she felt herself explode around Nadine, failing to keep her hips from grinding against Nadine. Elizabeth felt her body shake as she hovered on cloud 9. It seems like forever since she last had a climax that rocked her to her core at the touch of someone who truly loved her. Elizabeth sat up, reaching for Nadine who was wiping herself clean. Elizabeth just wrapped herself around Nadine like a koala, refusing to let her go. 

The pair, spent, out of breath, but happy. Scrambled under the sheets, with messy hair and full hearts. Nadine rolled so she was laying partially on Elizabeth. Something about being boob on boob, just felt right. “Wow” she murmured as she traced her hand along Elizabeth’s cheek. 

“You amaze me, Nadine.” Elizabeth said as she was lost in those dark brown eyes. “I have never… well…”

“Had such awesome sex that you saw stars?” Nadine laughed as she said it, a little proud in what she had done but also agreeing. “Because that is how I feel.”

“Exactly!” She answered softly as she lazily kissed Nadine. One hand was gently stroking her back as she spoke. “I love you.”

“You are perfect. And I love you, always.”

With a final kiss they pair parted to finally drift off into a peaceful sleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment! I am running into some major writers block!


	8. Let's dance?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time seems to fly with you are with someone you love. There are moments that will be cherished forever. The first slow dance and bring lost in their eyes.   
> While attending a gala hosted by the White House, Elizabeth has a hard time keeping her hands to herself. Upon excusing herself she is met by Nadine who had the exact same thoughts.

Months ticked on, eventually the pair had been together for over a year. A relationship buried in secrecy and happiness. Attending galas and parties thrown by the White House or the State Department were always fun, stolen glances and smiles would fill the night.

Seated in a center table was the Secretary and her staff, on the table just ahead of them was President Dalton, his staff, and wife. The other tables were full of staff, foreign diplomats, and leaders. As they sat listening to the speakers talking about how this new treaty was going to support the trade between two previously hostile nationals. Between the food, wine, and the eventual champagne Elizabeth was having a very hard time keeping her hands to herself. Under the table, draped with a large tablecloth, Elizabeth made a motion like she was adjusting the napkin on her lap only to give Nadine’s thigh a squeeze then brought her hand back to reach for her glass. Seeing Nadine shoot her a quick glance, Elizabeth winked then left the table in the direction of the restroom. Waiting what Nadine hoped would be a respectable amount of time, she checked her phone then left like she needed to find the Secretary. 

Walking briskly, to make it seem like whatever Nadine had to say was extremely pressing, she following the Secretary’s path to where she found Elizabeth, her long elegant figure leaning against a pillar taking a moment to enjoy the quiet. Nadine looked around. “Ma’am?” Nadine asked working as hard as she could to sound professional.

“Hey I was just…” But Elizabeth had no time to answer before Nadine walked quickly to her and kissed her. Pushing Elizabeth back against the pillar she had been leaning on, keeping them out of site. “... or that.” She laughed as she pulled Nadine back in for another kiss. 

“I have wanted to kiss you all night long.” Nadine whispered against her lips. “You look absolutely gorgeous.” Leaning in to kiss Elizabeth with all she was worth. 

“You look stunning yourself, did you see the way that French diplomat was eyeing you? I mean, hearing speak French is intoxicating on its own. But after he danced with you I was afraid I wouldn’t get you back.” Elizabeth chucked, it was funny to see the effect it had on Nadine as she cheeks turned a little pink. “Nadine, I wish I could dance with you.” Elizabeth offered her hand. “Right here, just for a moment, can we?”

Nadine accepted her hand. “I’ll lead.” Stepping out from behind their pillar Elizabeth had her hand on Nadine’s waist as Nadine had a hand on Elizabeth’s shoulder; their clasped hands leading the way. Nadine made it easy to follow. Elizabeth was lost in the beaming smile of the woman before her. She was practically glowing. The music, which was already softly playing in the background seemed to fade away. “This is the part where you twirl me.” Nadine whispered. 

Bringing her hand up, Elizabeth watched Nadine twirl away then back. As she pulled her in for a kiss, slow and deep, passionate, filled with desire, and lust all wrapped up in one. It was intoxicating to them, neither noticed Matt was frozen in place, he had left the gala to use the restroom. He was in shock, he wanted to cheer, they were a picture of perfection as they danced. 

He walked back to the table quickly as he could. “There is a line” he said a little too loudly as he singled Daisy and Blake to lean in. “Blake you were right, I saw Nadine and the Secretary. They were dancing, quite beautifully I may add, and kissed. And I mean kissed not some little peck like a true I love you more than air kind of kiss.” 

“First, pay up, a bet is a bet. Second, we need to protect that area until they return.” Blake said quickly. “I don’t want this ruined for them.” With a nod they returned to acting normal, taking stock of who was around and where people were going.

The song changed, but the subtle tempo did not. The dancing, which Nadine had led each step of the way had dissolved into simple swaying. Elizabeth had her arms around Nadine’s waist, and Nadine had her arms around Elizabeth’s neck. Their foreheads were pressed together as they moved. Nothing else was visible outside of each other. 

“I wish we could stay like this.” Nadine whispered softly, as if she were to spoke to loud then she would disrupt the moment.

“Me too.” Elizabeth replied. “although, I would not mind sliding that dress off of you.” They both giggled. 

They remained where they were, quiet with stolen kisses until Elizabeth jumped and Nadine almost didn't even hear Russell Jackson yelling.

“What the hell to do you mean you don’t know where the Secretary is? What kind of assistant are you?” It was Russell Jackson, yelling at Blake. 

“Sir, I only know she went into the restroom. Nadine had a message for her and also hasn’t returned.” Blake sounded a little frantic. 

“Of course.” Elizabeth muttered. “Just say you were waiting, I’ll be in the bathroom freshening up for my speech.” And she darted. Nadine stood where she was, putting her shoulders back she made her best attempt to look like she meant nothing but business. Her heart, however, was pounding to the point she could feel it in her ears. She was so lost trying to get her brain to focus on her job when she wanted to relive the past few moments.

“Nadine, please tell me you found the Secretary.” Russell was sounding pissed and looked a little red, although it was hard to tell if that was from anger or the wine. 

“I did, she is freshening up. I had a message for you from her brother, regarding his current mission to…” Nadine was thankful to be cut off, she did not have a savvy and convincing answer.

“She needs to speak, now. She on next.” Russell just stormed off. “Why do I need to do the job of both her Chief of Staff and Assistant? You all should be fired.” he proclaimed as he walked out of sight.

It was quiet in the hall, for just a few seconds only to be disrupted by Blake. “Nadine?” Blake asked very point blank

“Yes Blake?” Nadine was more focused on keeping her breathing steady. 

“Your lipstick is smudged.” Blake said as Nadine flushed. “You know” He chuckled (Oh God, Nadine thought, why is he laughing!?) “This is why I am forever thankful I don’t wear makeup.” (Phew)

“Well Blake, when you are the Chief of a staff full of young beautiful people, you have to work a little harder to blend in.” Nadine smiled again as she took a deep breath, thinking her secret was safe just as Elizabeth emerged from the bathroom. “Ma’am I am sure you heard, but you are due to speak momentarily and Russell is in full attack mode.” Nadine jumped into her role quickly. “I also received and email from your brother regarding…”

“Yeah, he can wait. I could hear Russell down the hall, sorry you guys had to put up with that. Alright Blake fill me in. I heard him yelling directly at you.” Blake started to fill her in on just how Russell was acting as he turned to walk back to the gala. 

“I’ll speed ahead and make sure they are ready for you.” Nadine said, as she walked passed Elizabeth she gave her a quick wink and brushed against her hand. She was feeling a little daring this evening and she just wanted it to be over. 

Elizabeth and Blake made their way back to the room, Nadine was in her seat and the Prime Minister who was set to speak before Elizabeth was still going. She knew she had plenty of time, why Russell was going mad was beyond her. She was just thankful they were not caught. Waiting in the wing, of the podium, she saw her staff eagerly waiting. She saw Nadine, her sweet Nadine, the smile seemed glued to her face as she talked with the others. Elizabeth knew she was lucky and was wondering at what point they would need to tell the staff, it wasn’t a hurdle she wanted to tackle yet, just being peacefully in love was all they both wanted. 

Stepping up she took the podium and adjusted the mic. Her speech was short, but more than enough her words rang strong and true. With an applause, she left to return only to see Nadine was not at her seat. “Blake where did Nadine go?” Elizabeth whispered to him concerned.   
“She got a call she had to take from her son.” Blake whispered back. “She did not give me any details other than that.” 

Elizabeth nodded, she was finally able to process what the last hour had held. She and Nadine were almost caught. Which was terrifying, however, that moment where she twirled Nadine back in for a kiss finally got the chance to shadow over her mind. The feeling of being able to slow dance with her… how could she have been with someone for well over a year and still be amazed?

Her mind went back to the moment they were slowly swaying; to that kiss, that sensation of reading her with her lips and her finger tips. Nadine was stained on her lips like a sweet wine, and she craved more. Lost in thought she missed Nadine coming back to her seat. 

“Hey, sorry, my son called, he never calls.” Nadine said casually.

“Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, he is looking at jobs in the states and wanted to give me a heads up he might need help with citizenship for his fiancé, convenient right?” She laughed but paused as she put her thoughts together. “He doesn’t know we are an item. I was too nervous to tell him.” Nadine whispered. 

“All is good time, when we are ready we will know.” Elizabeth gave Nadine a knowing look of reassurance. 

“You are right.” Nadine nodded with a smile.

“There is no rush, unless the rush is to dance with you again.” Elizabeth was trying to steady Nadine’s nerves. It worked.

A warm shade of pink was on her cheeks, “Is that a promise?”

“Always.”

And with a shared smile they returned their attention to the gala. The President was approaching with a question for Elizabeth and Nadine took that as an opportunity to check in on some of the guests of the evening. A simple dynamic duo. Keeping the world together one step at a time.


	9. The Stress Dream is no Longer a Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stress can take a toll in many ways, be it physical or mental or even emotionally. Stress to a point can make someone this they are worthless. In a hostage situation the State Department is all hands on deck to get a small group of Americans home but the stress and anxiety start to bleed over from work to personal. Nadine starts to hear that same anxiety and insecurity stating she isn't enough, Elizabeth has a reoccurring stress dream about losing the woman she loves. When someone from Elizabeth's past comes into to assist the case, our pair might start to self destruct.

This week had ended with a hostage video message dropped to the President involving Americans who got themselves wrapped into an extremist group. A group claiming salvation for their sins, and a chance to renew their connection with the one true God. The promise of feasts, and lush living, was all a con. But the people leading this group believed this truth. They were brainwashed with the idea of purity in their toxic lives, and promises of heaven. These were families that uprooted to follow them. Bringing children, who should be in school learning about fractions and playing with dinosaurs, to follow in their parents awful footsteps.

This led into a sleepless weekend, Elizabeth and Nadine didn’t get to see one another because they had jobs to do. Monday morning, Nadine was choked into a phone call and couldn’t meet Elizabeth at the elevator as usual. It always upset Nadine when she couldn’t do that, that walk had become their quiet tradition and lead to a sweet good morning kiss in her office which would be just enough to power Nadine through her day. On the rare occasion that Nadine missed her, Elizabeth would poke her head into Nadine’s office just to check in on her. But this Monday, Elizabeth didn’t even check in. Nadine started thinking to herself, maybe Elizabeth was just busy, as she stared longingly at her door with her phone pressed against her ear. “I understand the restraints but I need you to see if there is anything so we can use to get these people home.” Nadine said coldly into her phone. 

Nadine would never admit it out loud, but in the back of her mind she was afraid that she was not doing enough, not just for her job but for her relationship, she feared that this strain would cause her to lose Elizabeth. It was irrational, she knew that. But she was convinced that karma was going to pull one of its dirty tricks, that Elizabeth was slipping through her fingers like sand. She would find herself being a little jealous at the people who get to spend time with Elizabeth when she couldn’t or a little upset when the White House would call during date night. These were situations that were unavoidable, she knew that, Elizabeth was the duct tape that held a lot of the world together. The time that they had together was always easy, she would dream of when they both would retire from public service and relax on Elizabeth’s farm in Virginia. With a sigh, she looked at the little plush horse that sat next to her computer screen and squeezed its fluffy body. At this point she was no longer listening to the angry voice of the phone, she felt a pang of anxiety riddle through her body. She needed to find Elizabeth, the little voice in her head was getting far too loud.

Elizabeth sat at her desk, hoping each knock would be Nadine. But it was always someone else. She furiously typed emails and signed documents and read papers; it was lunch time when she finally forced herself to step away. As she passed Blake’s desk he shot up, “It’s okay Blake, I just need to walk. I have been stuck behind that desk for hours.” Blake sat back down with a nod. Elizabeth knew her Fitbit was in a drawer somewhere, and would be very upset with how little she walked. She made her way to Nadine’s office. She saw Nadine standing behind her desk, yelling into her phone, she had been trying to get through to the DOD for hours hoping to secure transportation for the American’s to get home once they were out of this hostage hell hole.

Elizabeth paused by her closed door, and gently tapped on it. With everything happening in the State Department, with the stress surrounding everyone, she just wanted to wrap her arms around Nadine and know that it would all be okay. Nadine looked over and her whole face lit up at the sight of Elizabeth standing at her door with a smile. She gestured her to come in as she placed the receiver against her chest and stretched out her hand.

“Hi” Elizabeth said quickly. “I won’t keep you.” As she reached for Nadine’s open hand and gave her a squeeze.

A smile filled Nadine’s face “I love you and I miss you.” She whispered as quickly as she could, she felt her racing heart start to slow. The muffled voice of a screaming general could be heard through her phone’s receiver.

“I love you too.” Elizabeth said as she turned to leave. “We will get them home, promise.” She paused before opening the door “We will just have to make up for all this lost time.” She said with a wink. Seeing Nadine start to blush made her smile. “Bye, babe.”

With a nod Nadine returned to her phone call, feeling rejuvenated. “General? This is a direct order from the Secretary. If you have issue then bring it to the President.” She peeked up to see Elizabeth walking away, it was then that she noticed she was wearing that grey pencil skirt that Nadine loved. Perfectly fit to her hips and a dream to watch slide down her slender legs. 

Elizabeth returned to her desk, even in the less then 10 minutes she disappeared there were mountains of papers, files, and missed calls. She paused to think of that smile on Nadine’s face when she walked into her office, how her curly hair was messy, and the button-down shirt that flowed. She really wanted to go back and smother Nadine with kisses with fistfuls of her messy hair. She sent Nadine a message. ‘It looks like another long night for me. You and the rest of the staff can go home at your normal times. No need to wait’.

Working away, Elizabeth had lost track of time until she saw an email from Nadine ‘Of course, get home safe.’ Get home safe, a simple and easy way to be both professional enough for work and drop a subtle I love you and take care all in one. 

Nadine was back at her apartment, just another night with herself and a glass of wine. She and Elizabeth exchanged a few messages. The news was all dark, and the pressure of her job was riding on her shoulders. Finishing the leftover salad from the night before she decided to run a bath. She felt the tension she was holding in her back and knew this would fix it. Settling into the steaming, bubbling water, with smooth music in the background she let her mind wander, thinking about how much she would rather have Elizabeth in this bath with her, before she knew it her hands travelled, and she felt her breath catch, as she murmured and whispered Elizabeth’s name, until a sensation of pleasure radiated from her core to her finger tips. With a deep breath, she sank lower into the tub. Feeling a little closer to relaxation.

Elizabeth’s evening was not so luscious like Nadine’s, she got back to her home and waited, exhausted for her microwave to warm up frozen burritos. Scarfing them down she flopped on her bed, knowing she needed to shower, but drifted off to sleep. Elizabeth awoke abruptly at 4:17 to a cold sweat, she had that stress dream, in that dream something goes wrong and Nadine leaves her. The dream is always blurry in the morning, but the 20 second window of Nadine sobbing and saying “We are done” destroys her every time. There was a time she had this dream with Nadine sleeping in her bed. And all she could to was wrap herself around her hold back tears. 

Rubbing her eyes, she got up, she never changed out of the clothes she was wearing the day before. Thinking this was her cue to shower so she could get an early start with the day. She couldn’t wait to see Nadine in a few short hours. 

Tuesday rolled in, Elizabeth made the walk alone from the elevator to her office. She was jumped by Blake with a binder and things she had to do, but she wasn’t listening. She kept scanning the room for Nadine. That stress dream was weighing heavily on her mind and it was clouding her thoughts. She sat at her desk reviewing the binder she was handed when there was a knock on her door. “Nadine?” It seemed like reflex to ask if it was Nadine, but it was Blake. 

“No, sorry Ma’am, just me. I am handing you your updated agenda, you are needed at the White House for a meeting with the President at 10:30. “ 

“Okay, great, have you seen Nadine today? I need to speak with her.” Elizabeth hastily asked.

“Only briefly this morning. She has been dealing with a lot of conference calls.” Blake nodded as he spoke.

“Alright, thank you Blake, if you see her tell her I need to meet with her.”

“Yes Ma’am.” and then he left. 

Nadine was pacing around the conference room, listening to the crackling of the speaker phone on the center of the table. Matt was sitting in with her to work on the remarks the Secretary would be saying at tomorrow’s press conference in regards to their progress on this matter. He said quietly taking notes while Nadine directed the call. Staring into her binder as she listened to the House Leaders make comments and remarks on what to do further. She kept wondering about Elizabeth, she hadn’t seen her yet this morning, she hoped she was okay… correction, she hoped they were okay. She felt like since she woke up she could feel her own irrational anxiety choking her thoughts.

Elizabeth sat at her desk, her head resting heavy in her hands as she tried to focus on her breathing. Yes, she was stressed, and scared, and nervous about the job before her. She also felt as if this was bringing a strain on her relationship with Nadine. Would it be different if they lived together and they could simply talk over a late-night microwave burrito and go to bed? Probably. But that would not be a reality for either of them for a long while. Elizabeth felt that this stress, this drive to do this job put the relationship on the back burner. It did, this is not the first time they have been in this situation, and they always made it out stronger than before. But why did Elizabeth feel like Nadine was just about to fade away. Her stress dream from last night was no help.

Elizabeth made her way to the motorcade, still no sign of Nadine, she even sent her an email asking to see her at the end of the day that didn’t get a response. Elizabeth put all that in the back of her mind and prep for whatever this meeting was going to be. Heels pounded through the hallway to the President’s office “Mr. President?” Elizabeth ask as she walked in. 

“Elizabeth.” President Dalton said happily, “I want you to meet…” but Elizabeth stopped listening, the man sitting before Dalton needed no introduction to Elizabeth, she knew him, on a very intimate level. When she had retired from the CIA and went into teaching, she met Professor Henry McCord. He was the kind of person that anyone would want. He was tall, fit, former Marine who was handsome, sweet, kind, and his kiss was smooth as silk. But he was temporary. He was busy either guest lecturing in different states, traveling for research, working undercover with the DIA, or bring off the grid. To Elizabeth, that made him more appealing back then. Their paths crossed for semester. It started with a date and ending with raw, rough sex that was enough to make her toes curl. She never loved him, never saw a future, but he was a way to let off some steam. He even acknowledged that on their first date. It was odd to see him after all this time, he had not crossed her mind since she last saw in almost 7 years ago. 

“He needs no introduction we taught together for a semester, you know, in that old life I used to lead?” she said joking “How are you Dr. McCord?” Elizabeth extended her hand.

“I am doing well, looks like we get to work together again.” Elizabeth sat next him on the coach which was facing Russell and Dalton. Henry’s eyes trailed up and down, she was looking terrific. He was always fond of she skirts and blazers, but even in slacks she looked hot. He noticed here was not a ring on her finger, he let his mind wonder for a moment, imagining each button of that blouse coming undone and tasting her soft skin again.

“Alright, this is the extremist group holding a small group of Americans hostage.” Elizabeth pulled out the files, “and we need to figure out how to get everyone home, safely. They claim to be saving people, and recruiting in the word of God. But this is human sacrifice, this is torture, we need a plan.” 

As the four brains powered through Henry offering to send a team into hostile territory after reviewing intel on the situation. Elizabeth offered any kind of negotiation possible to bring those citizens home, and Dalton offered the same and tried to increase the resources to the State Department. 

After a long-heated discussion, the meeting parted. Elizabeth was making her way back to the motorcade when Henry jogged up behind her. “Hey, I know we just finished a meeting, but do you want to catch up a little? It's been ages.”

Elizabeth turned around “Sure, but it has to be in my office, I don’t really have any time for this, the deadlines are far to close and I can’t lose those kids. Hop in.” She climbed into the back seat and singled him to join.

“So, Henry, how have you been?” Elizabeth asked as they pulled away. 

“A lot more teaching actually, they have me at the War College for a bit. It’s refreshing teaching those young minds. Brings me hope that future leads of this world with know a thing or two about morals. I see you made out well.” He made a gesture to the car around them.

“Yeah, Secretary of State, less gritty then CIA work but way more stress. I love my job and my team.” Elizabeth looked out the window in the back of her mind she was thinking about Nadine, the flustered yet determined look she had on her face while she was on the phone with DOD. “They have all been working hard on this.”

They continued the ride back to the Department of State building, chatting about recent travels, talking about their jobs mostly. “How is that horse of yours… Dandelion?” Henry remembered how it would get under her skin when he called Buttercup any other kind of flower but his actual name. 

“I had to put him down, lymphosarcoma.” Elizabeth said shortly. “I don’t want to talk about that…” 

“Oh, I am so sorry.” Henry reach out to put a hand on her arm but she shrugged it off, becoming increasingly aware that this was not a simple catch up between old friends. 

Arriving at the State Department, they walked to Elizabeth’s office. “Impressed?” She asked cheekily as she leaned against her desk.

“What gave it away?” Henry didn’t even look away from the array of art on the walls. “I will assemble my people and we will reach out to your staff tomorrow evening, I want to do a little of our own background work and to develop a plan. You should hear from either myself or my team this evening for confirmation.” Henry walked up to Elizabeth has he spoke, standing close enough that he could smell the sweet perfume on Elizabeth. 

It was 1:30, Blake was scheduled to meet with Elizabeth so he could fill in the rest of the staff on their jobs moving forward. But Nadine wanted to jump in, desperate get the chance to see Elizabeth. She had opened the door and paused trying to figure out who the man was who was standing so close to Elizabeth, and why she wasn’t pushing him away. 

“Elizabeth, it had been great catching up. Albeit quick.” Henry was getting ready to leave but he paused and asked “are you seeing anyone? Are you free tonight?” He shoved his hands in his coat pockets and have a crooked smile. 

‘Oh no’ Nadine thought. They hadn’t told anyone about their relationship yet, and some stranger was asking. Nadine felt nervous. ‘Why was Elizabeth taking so long to answer? Would she see him again?’

Elizabeth was quiet, thoughts buzzing around in her head. How did she bring up Nadine? “Tonight?” Putting emphasis on the question she was prepared to answer “No, Henry, some of actually have work to do.” She laughed as she moved to be on the other side of her desk, hoping to have space between them. “Besides I have…”

Henry followed “because I have been wondering if we could pick up where we left off all those years ago. I have been thinking about you a lot lately.” His voice was almost a low purr. 

Nadine felt her heart sink. ‘No!’ she screamed in her head, there it was, her worst fear. Her Elizabeth… her heart was racing, someone from Elizabeth’s past just trying to sweep her off her feet? ‘Don’t touch her. She is mine! Or maybe was…’ Nadine wanted to burst into tears. Henry started to reach for Elizabeth.

“Henry, stop! No! I have…” He quickly pulled away. Elizabeth moved around her desk again. For the first time seeing Nadine standing in the doorway with tears in her eyes. “Nadine.” She was shaking her head as she spun on her heels and ran out the door. “I have a girlfriend, and she is terrific. She was right behind you...”

“I am sorry, that was greatly inappropriate.” He put his head down. “I didn’t know.”

“Nadine, wait!” But Nadine had already turned around and bolted. “Henry, this is not your fault. We have not told anyone yet for fear of backlash… Henry, I need you to leave.” Her voice was growing higher as she became more anxious. Elizabeth started to walk out of her office. “Henry, now!” and she pointed the way. “Blake please see Henry out? I have to catch Nadine.”

“Right away ma’am, Nadine ran to her office. It looked important.” 

“Thanks Blake, that is why I am after her.” and she was off. As she walked to Nadine’s office she was trying to figure out how all this unfolded. She knew the stress they were both under caused the initial reaction. They needed to talk, about a lot of things. Then it hit her, a flashback to the first time they went all the way, the sweet surrender, bring lost in the bliss and lust. Nadine had said ‘Well, you are the Secretary of State, you could have any girl you wanted’ Elizabeth realized right in this moment that Nadine was trying to say how scared and insecure she was in being enough for Elizabeth and Elizabeth just took it for granted. “Shit” she said quietly when she saw the blinds in Nadine’s office were all pulled closed. They needed to fix this, and the rock in the pit of Elizabeth’s stomach just grew heavier. Her mind flashed to her stress dream, she felt herself brace for impact. Elizabeth felt her own tears starting to spill over as she reached for the handle, fear blinding her thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept writing and rewriting this chapter. I wanted a little jealously and anxiety from Nadine but it kept evolving to how a stressful hostage situation not only puts stress on the job, but on relationships. 
> 
> I throw Henry under the bus a little on this, I wanted to pull in someone from Elizabeth's past that she might have been intimate with to help throw a curve ball into an already touchy situation. (sorry!)
> 
> Stay toned for more!


	10. I just want you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our delightful pair are now face to face dealing with the situation involving Henry in Elizabeth's office. Between tears, heartbreak and wine Nadine and Elizabeth need to figure out what the hell they do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this as fast as I could. I am also a cream puff and some of this hurt to write.

Nadine practically bolted into her office. She pulled the blinds tightly shut and sat behind her desk with her head in her hands and sobbed, openly sobbed. She lost Elizabeth, and that feeling sat heavy in her gut. Nadine was living her worst nightmare. Her heart was racing and she felt sick. She would just work from her dark office and operate through email. She let the tears just roll, but she did hear her door open and someone walk in. 

“What do you want?” Nadine started in a whisper, she didn’t even bother to look up to see who was at the door. “Just leave!” Her voice sounded raw from crying. “He clearly has something I don’t.” She sucked in a quick breath. “Why… Why are you here?” She finally looked up from her hands and saw Elizabeth, tears running down her red cheeks. It broke Nadine to see Elizabeth this way. Through quivering lips, she dropped back down to a whisper again “What do you want.”

“You.” Elizabeth choked out she was crushed seeing what she had done, “I want you, Nadine, I need you.” Elizabeth took a step only to have Nadine raise her hands telling her to stop. “He is gone, I was never going to meet with him outside of the office, yes. I knew him from when I was teaching and he and I were a thing for that semester. Not a relationship, not a future, just a thing. Friends with benefits probably is the easiest label. I never thought someone from my past would make a guest appearance at the White House. I never thought he, of all people, would show up.” she was falling short of breath as she tried to continue.

She leaned against the closed office door, her whole body feeling weak and heavy. “He asked me if I was seeing anyone, and if I was free tonight. I answered the second half first, because that I had the answer for that and I needed the extra few seconds to figure out how to bring us completely into the light. He didn’t know you and I are together, because we haven’t told anyone. Nadine, we can’t tell anyone.” Nadine thought that over and knew Elizabeth was right. She paused and took a long slow breath. “Nadine” she whispered her name “please, please understand, I am so sorry.” She was practically begging.

Nadine didn’t say anything; the tears were flowing in heavy streams and her brain was foggy. “I was convinced I lost you to him in that moment. I am still afraid he will come back and sweep you off your feet in a way that I can’t.” Her voice was painfully steady as she spoke, no inflection, just a simple monotone that pierced through Elizabeth’s thoughts. She buried her face in her hands again. “How can I be sure that won’t happen?”

Elizabeth felt her pulse throbbing in her ears. “Nadine… I...” She took a step forward, she had no idea what to do with her hands, or her body, she just knew she needed to get to Nadine. She slowly started to make her way to the desk.

“I am so consistently afraid of losing you. Elizabeth, you are kind and amazing in so many ways. You are the Secretary of State, look at all the good things you do; you change the world. You… you are practically perfect. Then there is me. I have a few years on you. And I am just a Chief of Staff who has some bad luck.” Nadine paused “you deserve better than me.”

Elizabeth knelt before Nadine and turned her chair so Nadine had to look at her. “Nadine…” This time it was more choked as she reached out to hold Nadine’s hands. “Listen to me. You are more than enough, you amaze me Nadine. I would not be able to do all that I do without your help and your support. You are not just a Chief of Staff, you are my rock and you keep me honest. Together we fight the good fight. You are the reason we do some amazing work. You are my everything.” Elizabeth took a slow breath, “Who cares about a few years? You are stunning” Elizabeth squeezed her hands “and I love you.” Elizabeth dropped her head and sucked in a hurt breath. As she started to stand, she spoke through the onset of an upset, out of breath stutter. “I have, I have this, this dream, this nightmare, whenever something within the State Department gets out of hand, or I get too worked up…” She paused to try to breathe. “About losing you. I wake in these cold sweats remember very little other than you crying saying we are through. It seems to be me getting consumed by my work and its painful. And I, I can’t blame you. I am a hot mess.” She paused, there was no point in the tears, trying to control her breathing she looked around the office. “I understand if you want me to leave. I’ll be in my office.” The tear control was failing. As she tried to turn away she was stopped.

Nadine rose of her chair and grabbed Elizabeth’s arm. “Wait.” She shakily said. 

“Nadine, I took your for granted I should have been better. I am sorry I never told you about that reoccurring nightmare. I hurt you in ways I never thought I could. I have never felt this.” She swung her hands around indicating to the situation that had her at a loss of words. “I… I should go.” Elizabeth pulled away and reached for the door. “Good bye Nadine.” And she vanished.

“Don’t go.” Nadine whispered. Her voice was so quiet the world stopped spinning as it waited for her too speak. “I don’t want to lose you… I was hoping you would be my forever.” 

The only noise was the sound of the wall clock ticking in Nadine’s office as she stared at her door. Standing right were Elizabeth had left her, she felt stunned. What happens now? She felt like she was not living in her own skin. Her soul was somewhere else. She looked around her office as scenes of the past arguments flashed before her. She returned to her seat, seeing the tear drops that were drying on the pages of her open binder. She picked up that little plush horse, the one that sat next to her computer screen, and held it close to her chest. She tried to count backwards, mentally organizing her files. But the look on Elizabeth’s face was imprinted to her brain. She could not lose this woman, and she was going to go fight for her, even if she just ended up fighting a losing battle. It was 3:45 when Nadine looked at her clock, she had not done a thing, she was processing and trying to plan. 

Elizabeth was in her office, she paced around and tried endlessly to make the tears stop. She caved and dipped into the scotch to take the edge off. Returning to her desk she saw a small post-it note that Nadine had stuck to the bottom of her computer screen a few months ago. It had ‘I love you’ written with Nadine’s perfect penmanship inside a heart. “I am so sorry I let you down.” She said to the post-it. “I can’t imagine what I am going to do with myself without you.” She stared blankly at her phone. The light blinking that there were messages. She brought the phone to her ear and read the notes from Blake on who had called. One was from Henry; the others were Russell yelling incoherently. 

“Hello Madam Secretary, Its Dr. Henry McCord. I wanted to apologize for my actions earlier today, they were unethical. I do, however, want to make up for it. My team has found some more information that will be useful. I am sending my lead to meet with your department tomorrow at 11. And he is bringing bagels. Have a good evening, I hope to see you soon, and that we get our people home.” 

Elizabeth made note of the meeting and was going to hand Blake the notice, she wanted to call Henry back. He was easy, dinner and sex then everyone goes home with a little slice of bliss. The idea of lashing out like a horny, angry teenager made her feel dirty. She didn’t want easy, she didn’t want to be someone’s world for a few hours, she wanted to be someone’s whole world every day. She wanted the challenges and the pure happiness it brought, she wanted Nadine, rather, needed Nadine. She was determined to win her back. She looked at her watch, the ticking hands showing 4:19. She debating sending the staff home early, but they would want to stay late and prep for tomorrow. Out of ideas, or really and mental power to make decisions. She decided that she would leave around 6, finish up the task she was working on and go home. From there, she would start her plan to win back her Nadine. 

Nadine typed out the same email over and over to Elizabeth. Only to delete it ever time for starters it was not work appropriate to send but she didn’t know how to say what she was thinking. She opened her blinds and decided it was best for her to call and early day leaving at 5 so she could put her thoughts together. Finishing the last of her today’s agenda she gathered her things to go home. Taking the plush horse and putting it in her bag for good luck. Arriving back at her apartment she could not keep still, she kept checking her phone and pacing. She slipped her shoes back on, she knew where she had to go.

It was just before 6 o’clock when Elizabeth packed her bag to head out. Much to her surprise most of the staff had gone home aside from Matt who was busy typing away at a new speech for tomorrow, Jay had his door open but was nowhere in sight. At least she didn’t feel bad about leaving the time she was. She got to the motorcade and jumped in, constantly checking her phone for any missed calls from Nadine. She kept her mind busy by playing games on her phone. Anything to keep her mind distracted in the silence. 

Elizabeth arrived home, shedding her coat she didn’t even bother to take her heels off before she reached for the first bottle of wine she could get her hands on. Drinking the first class like it was nothing more than grape juice she downed another. And then slowly started to sip on glass three when she called Nadine then hung up. She repeated that three times before she let it ring for its full extent, thinking it would go to voicemail. Only to hear “Elizabeth?” at the end of the line. She froze. “Elizabeth, its Nadine… I know you know that. You called me three other times and hung up before I could even swipe to answer. Can you let me in?”

In? Elizabeth took her wine and walked to her front door where she saw Nadine walking down the path. She opened the doors and greeted her security guard with a smile and waited for Nadine. “Hi” she said quickly like she had just run a mile, “come in?” And with nod Nadine did. Walking through the entrance way the pair got to the kitchen. “Wine?” Elizabeth offered trying to appear calm when she was freaked out. 

“No, thanks.” Nadine looked down at the counter top. “What happened earlier. We need to talk about it.” She looked up at Elizabeth who could see the pain in her eyes. 

“We do, let’s move to the living room then. I think you might want that glass of wine.” Elizabeth’s mind was a blur, but she at least knew where the wine glasses were. Nadine accepted her glass and they sat on the couch. 

The pause was long and painful. “I am sorry… again.” Elizabeth tried to cut the silence that was as thick in the air. 

“I am also sorry, I acted out of fear. Nothing I did was rational.” Nadine’s answer sounded like she had been thinking about it the whole drive over, which she had. She reached for her purse that was on the coffee table before them and pulled out the horse. 

“Please don’t tell me you are giving him back.” Elizabeth eyes went wide as she put her wine glass down. “I mean, he was a gift for you in a tough spot.” 

“I know he was so I…”

Elizabeth cut her off. “If you want to end this then let’s just end it.” Elizabeth felt turning red to the point her ears were warm. 

“No, I.” Nadine tried to speak again but Elizabeth had fully spiraled. 

“I hate myself for this, I feel like I am letting so much just slip through my fingers. There is you, those poor people I am trying to bring home, this job. And I… and I…” She stood up from the couch feeling like a CD with a scratch that couldn’t move to the next verse. She started to turn away from Nadine only to have Nadine grab her arm.

“Wait.” Nadine practically demanded. “Will you listen to me?” Elizabeth turned back to Nadine, her face was red and she was fighting tears again. Nadine felt her own eyes start to betray her. Elizabeth waited. “Look at me.” Elizabeth looked at Nadine frantically. Nadine leaned in kissed Elizabeth’s open mouth. She slowly retreated “I don’t…” Only to have Elizabeth’s mouth fly over hers and wrap her arms around her waist. The kisses were fast, and with desperation on the tips of their tongues. When Nadine pulled way and held Elizabeth’s cheeks in her hands. “I don’t lose you. I love you too much.” She broke into a grin “I believe it was you who said. ‘you would have a hell of a time trying to get rid of me’ all that time ago?” 

Elizabeth thought back, that had been the night they first kissed. “I do believe I was the one who said that.” She felt a small smile creep across her lips.

“I don’t want to leaving you.” Nadine said in her matter of fact way. “I was going to bring you the stuffed pony to help you, you know, through this tough spot.”

“No, really!?” Elizabeth felt herself melt. “I am so sorry, as you can tell I went into full panic and that was embarrassing.”

“I am too, Elizabeth I thought for a split second in time I would lose you forever to that handsome man in your office. I was not thinking logically, I have been so anxious about the job, and us that it literally ate away at me. It happens.” She looked down at the floor. “It happens more than I want to admit. I get a little jealous of people who get to meet with you on days I don’t. I get upset when the White House calls during date nights. But I understand that it inevitable. And that stress dream? How often does that occur?

“Often enough to unseat me. It happened once when you stayed the night here. All I could think to do was to wrap my arms around you and hold on tight. Not that I have proven to be the reasonable one, I think we need talk about these things, as much as I would like to think I am Wonder Woman. I am not. Like I said, I am a hot mess.”

“Hot? Yes. Mess? Not so much.” Nadine said as she tried to lighten the mood.

Elizabeth took Nadine’s hands “let head back to that couch. I think we have a list of things to discuss?”

“I agree, but first, this.” Nadine took a step closer and wrapped her arms around Elizabeth’s waist and kissed slow and soft. Elizabeth met each kiss, moving in unison as their stress seemed to wash away. 

“That, definitely that.” Elizabeth laughed as she pulled away. “So where do we begin?”

“I will start.” Nadine picked up the plushy pony and took a deep breath. “I want you to know that I am nervous. I am nervous that I seem ‘old’ because I am a few years older. I am nervous that I do not do enough to make you happy. And that scares me because you mean the world to me. As I had mentioned, I get a little jealous of other who see you on days I don’t even get to cross your path at work, and interrupted date nights are a given but those precious nights seem to be happening less and less. I am worried you will find me less attractive or desirable.” She nodded as she offered the pony to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth gave it a squeeze. “I hear you, and I understand, from here on, I will listen more and be more aware. Somethings I can’t stop, like an international crisis. But I have always made time for you and I always will. We might need to make sure that morning elevator walk happens no matter what.” Elizabeth joked she saw Nadine’s eyes light up at the thought, she knew it was her favorite morning tradition.

“I would very much love that.” Nadine beamed.

“I want you to know that losing you scares the hell out of me. I will always fight for you, root for you, and support you. I have lived my life working, throwing away family and friendships because I had a job to do. And a real relationship, a relationship with you no less, makes me worry that I will blow this up because of a job or being too much to handle. I need to slow my roll, I can bulldoze and never realize it happens and I have the track record to prove it. I need you to know what you might need to help me slam the brakes.” She paused to plan her next thought. “Henry, Dr. McCord, called while I was in your office he called to apologize and say he was sending his team lead with bagels, as an apology, to brief the staff tomorrow at 11. I had half the thought to call him back. But it made feel dirty, why would I act out like a selfish teen. I didn’t want the easy guy, the dinner, sex, and home before midnight. I want what you and I have had for the past 2 years, I want true love.” She nodded “My past relations are a little slippery, I don’t know if you want those details.”

“I was in show biz, I have my own share of a little slippery.” Nadine smiled as she took the plushy back. “I want you to know, I will support and fight for you too. I will make that dream just a bad dream. I will be more aware that you get wrapped up in saving the world, and will work right beside you because at the end of the day, you are still my Elizabeth.”

“And you will always be my sweet Nadine.” 

“To a fresh start?” Nadine offered her hand.

“To a fresh start.” Elizabeth replied reaching out to shake her hand only to grab it and pull her in for a kiss. 

Nadine broke into a smile and playful giggle. “Hey now!” She said playfully. 

“I do like seeing that smile on your face again.” Elizabeth added. 

“I like seeing it back on you, too. Do you need it?” She held up the plushy. 

“Not when I have you, but we should probably move slow with this?” Elizabeth offered sheepishly. 

“We probably should.” Nadine nodded in agreement. “I won’t stay late, let’s talk, finish our wine and I will head on my way.”

“Wonderful.” Picking her wine back up Elizabeth relaxed into her couch. “Let’s plan out tomorrow?” She offered. 

“Sure, starting with me meeting you at the elevator.” Nadine sipped from her glass and put it and the plush pony on the coffee table. She listened to Elizabeth’s plan and chimed in. She knew they needed to find their rhythm again, and just sitting here, on the coach in Elizabeth’s company was more than enough to make her happy.


	11. The Next Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rainy day met with a resolution for our beloved pair and the stranded Americans.   
> Seeking a return to normalcy had become a goal for them both, having a glimpse at what life could be without the other presented a haunting reality. Finding that old balance is a challenge, but can be easy to get back when that is all you know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I am late, I am in the middle of midterm hell and I want to fling myself into the sun. There is more to come, Promise

It was the next day, it was a torrential downpour. The kind of rain that seemed to soak through an umbrella and rubber boots. Nadine, as always, was one of the first to the seventh floor. Once in her office she carefully took off her raincoat to minimize the amount of drips that would sit like bothersome stains until they dried. Then she removed her rubber boots to slip a pair of comfortable but tasteful flats. There was going to be a lot of standing and walking for her today. Getting to her desk she gathered her binders and files and set up her desk for the day. She also pulled out the plush pony and put it back in its original spot by her computer and smiled. Last night had ended calmly. She and Elizabeth talked, a lot, about their struggles and weaknesses and fears. At 8:00 Nadine left. A sweet and simple goodnight kiss and a smile and she was on her way. 

Nadine knew had this fight not happened, she would have stayed much later and they would have talked about work, or gossiped with wine, or she would have woken up hearing Elizabeth humming in the shower before she would tiptoed down the stairs to make them both coffee. But leaving early and starting this fresh meant she still had the woman she loved. She half paying attention as she screened through voicemails. One was the DOD, they had a plane! She cheered, things were turning around. Glancing at her watch, she saw it was 8:45, almost time to meet Elizabeth when she got a phone call.

Elizabeth floated through her morning routine, feeling like balance was restored in her life again. Stepping over puddles she leapt into her motorcade, nearly spilling her coffee on her lap in the process. On the ride over, she reviewed her notes for the 11 o’clock meeting with the Dr. McCord’s lead on this situation. She had a few calls to make hoping ally countries could offer assistance. 

Getting to the State Department, she stepped right into a puddle, soaking her to her ankle. The booties she was wearing were wet and she could feel the blisters starting to form as the water sloshed around inside. Getting to the elevator, she pulled off her coat and held it out to avoid getting wetter. She started to wonder if she had a spare set of shoes in her office. 

Nadine looked at her watch. “Thank you General, I have to call you back. I am being called into... I need…I… I WILL CALL YOU BACK!” She didn’t mean to sound aggressive but all this could have been stated in the email he had sent earlier. With an eye roll, Nadine grabbed her things and made her way to the elevator where Blake was waiting. 

“Morning, Nadine.” He cheerily said “I haven’t seen you at the elevator in a while nice to be back in the routine.”

“Good Morning. I can take that.” She gestured at the binder “I have to meet with the Secretary this morning regarding the plane situation.” 

“Oh, uh, okay. I’ll get back to prepping for the meeting. Thanks.” He handed off the binder and walked away. 

Nadine waited patiently for the elevator to ding and open. Only to find Elizabeth trying to drain water out of her shoe. She tried not to giggle. “Good Morning Ma’am.” Nadine said as put together as she could. 

“Good Morning, Nadine. I might need to find something different I am walking in a swamp. Will you walk with me?” With a nod, Nadine handed her the binder and filled her on the tasks of the day as they walked to the Secretary’s office; once inside Elizabeth shut the door and leaned against the front of her desk so she could take of her wet shoes and look at the binder. “Seems like a full day. And it’s not off to a great start.” She looked disappointedly at her shoes. “However.” then she paused and looked over at Nadine.

“However?” She questioned as she saw Elizabeth start to grin. 

“It’s started to get better.” Elizabeth said sheepishly. “And it makes me happy.”

“What about this…” Nadine walked up to Elizabeth they shared that sweet good morning kiss she craved. “Good Morning babe.” Nadine whispered with a smile. 

“Good morning my love.” Elizabeth answered before she dove in for another kiss. She could taste the caramel of Nadine’s coffee on her lips as she did. Elizabeth knew how badly she wanted to get carried away but stopped herself, taunted by Nadine’s moan of protest. “I didn’t realize how much I missed this.”

“It’s my favorite.” Nadine took a step back. “So, we have a plane.” She redirected the conversation to work. 

“Great, I should put on shoes and prep for this brief I have a few favors to call in to help get this mission rolling.” 

Nadine rolled her eyes “I should probably call the General I just hung up on. See you later?” 

“See you later.” Elizabeth said she reached out and gave Nadine’s hand a squeeze. Elizabeth watched Nadine walk away before she sat at her own desk. They were feeling like a team again, and it made things way easier. 

Dr. McCord’s lead came, with bagels as promised and briefed the staff. Nadine took diligent notes and Elizabeth buzzed in and out of the room. She had been on the phone hoping they could offer some man power. As the meeting came to a close she zipped in to grab a bagel and cream cheese but was stopped by the lead fellow.

“Madam Secretary, I have a something for you from Henry.” The young man held offered a yellow envelope to her. 

“Thank you.” Elizabeth took it tentatively. “I will get to it in a moment.” She quickly directed her attention elsewhere. “Blake, can you get the ambassador back on the line? I just got off the phone with the president, we have a deal.” 

With a nod, Blake disappeared as did the rest of the team to do their assigned jobs. Elizabeth sat at her desk and stared at the envelope. She could just throw it away, but... So, she opened it, it was a simple hand-written note of apology, there was also a gift certificate to a restaurant that had just opened in the heart of D.C. saying dinner was him. Elizabeth rolled her eyes. 

The clock ticked. Phones rang wildly and chatter across the seventh floor never really seemed to stop. Thanks to the assistance of the DIA there was a plan and in less than 36 hours those American citizens will be on a plane to come home. It was solidified that there where be allied militaries to help the US’s. 

Working on her last report for the evening Elizabeth paused to see all the parts in play. A plane, with armed military and a medic were in the air with members of Dr. McCord’s team to take a quick trip over the ocean. It was agreed to land this plane on an allied base which was less than a 45-minute drive from the location where the American’s were being held, allied troops would be waiting and before the sun could even rise they would storm the complex. This whole thing, like a tremendous machine, moving seamlessly she hoped it stayed that way. 

The day was ending with making sure once the plane landed in Andrews, she would be waiting for them, along with family members and other loved ones and would have a few words to say. She did wish she could openly mock the ‘loved ones’ that didn’t stop their friends from doing this. Regardless, she would be there with bells on. 

She checked her watch, it was almost 7:30. She hadn’t seen Nadine since the meeting… actually she hadn’t seen any of the staff since the 11:00 meeting. Had she really not left her desk? Stand slowly her joints reminded her that yes in fact, she had been sitting for longer than she thought. She figured she would do a sweep through the office to see who was still around and make a cup of coffee from break room, it always seemed to taste better there. 

She did her loop. The office was quiet, aside from the typing of a keyboard or the muffled sounds of phone calls. They were all waiting. Waiting for the call to come in that the action was to begin. That call would rush Elizabeth to the situation room. . 

Elizabeth got the cup of coffee from the breakroom, as she looked around she found the reason, a Cinnabon Coffee, that would of it. She took a sip and before making her way out the door when Nadine popped in. 

“You are still here!” They said together “Where else would I be?” Elizabeth laughed. 

“Fair.” Nadine spotted the cup of coffee in Elizabeth’s hand “I see you are stealing Matt’s coffee?”

“It’s his personal? I just… yeah…” Looks in to her mug guiltily. 

All Nadine did was smile. “We will get them home in less than 24 hours.”

“Any minute I should get the call to be in that Situation Room. I can’t wait to sleep through the night once this is done.”

Nadine reach out and lazily wrapped her fingers around Elizabeth’s. “Me either.” 

“Meet me in my office?” Elizabeth offered.

“I’ll be right behind you.” and the pair walked to the office, once the door was closed they were able to speak a little more freely then in the break room. They sat on the couch and talked, starting with the situation unfolding before them then drifting into catching the other up on their day. Conversation was easy and smooth, both could feel the other one being careful. 

With a break in the conversation Elizabeth paused “Hey.” She said softly.

“Yes?” Nadine asked.

“I love you.” She said she started to rise to sneak a kiss. Just as Elizabeth’s lips were about to capture Nadine’s the phone started to ring and Blake was knocking on the door. Elizabeth paused at all the noise, Eyes locked on Nadine’s as she kissed her slowly and sweetly. “Let’s go save the world.” she whispered against Nadine's smiling face.

Within minutes Elizabeth was in the motorcade on the phone with Russel, Nadine was in a conference room waiting for Jay and Blake to get the live stream going. The clock was ticking and all they could do was watch. Rushing into the Situation Room, Elizabeth took a seat near the President. A sea of generals, admirals, and agents filled the room as did Dr. McCord. She saw him and quickly diverted her attention to a conversation with the President. 

The feed jumped on. The operatives were approaching the complex. The Situation Room was barking orders until all was still. People were in their positions, eyes were on the Americans, and the only sounds were the desert winds across a cool sand as the room collectively held their breath. The seventh floor stood around a conference table watching the scenes unfold. Nadine hugged her binder close to her chest, she was terrified. A radio crackled it asked for orders, it received them.

Bullets flying, and shouts came as operatives breached the complex. Doors were kicked in and searched the operatives were yelling directions to each other. Then finally, the Americans were found. The whole group chained together, covered in sweat and their own filth, begging to be saved. The camera showed the American soldiers carrying the weak into the now waiting helicopter to quickly get them to the airport to be evaluated by a medic. Most of the extremists were dead or severely wounded. The Americans and allied operatives had a few wounds but all were able to walk and get help. Once in the helicopter the Situation Room erupted in cheers. Arrangements were solidified and within the hour the US plane would be heading home. The reaction was the same in the State Department, Nadine pulled Blake in for a hug. They were all in tears.

The Situation Room started to clear out, as Elizabeth was leaving Henry grabbed her arm. “Hey, can we talk?”

“About the win? Sure. But I really have no desire to speak with you.” She crossed her arms as she looked at him. 

“I wanted to apologize again, I…”

“I almost lost the her.” Elizabeth said shortly through her teeth. “Some of us grew up over the last few years.”

“But you didn’t” Henry to speak. Elizabeth glared at him. “You didn’t lose her. You are still together, and that is admirable.”

“What are you trying to fix?” She said coldly

“If I had known I would have left your office, no passes made, don’t be afraid to tell others. I am not saying you have to tell the world, but the people who care about you deserve to know.” Elizabeth’s eyes darted to the floor. “Because you have something so pure together and you can’t go through that explosion you are still recovering from. I wish I could have that.” He took his glasses off and out them in the inside pocket of his coat. “Just a thought.”

Henry started to walked away when Elizabeth caught up to him. “Thank you… you are right.” She stuck her hands in her coat pockets. “Good work on this, talk soon?” She left it as a question, knowing the DIA might be needed down the road. 

“Talk soon.” he nodded and off Elizabeth speed to her motorcade. She wanted to get back to the State Department and celebrate. 

Once back at State Department, Elizabeth congratulated everyone. “Everyone, great work. They are expected to touch down at Andrews tomorrow at 8am. I will be there to greet them. Now, I want you all to go home and get some rest and come in tomorrow no earlier than 10 o’clock. That means you too Nadine.” Elizabeth looked at her knowing she would still show up at 8 in the morning only to be met with a shrug. “Have a good night.” And she disappeared into her office.

“Hey Nadine, we are all going to grab a drink, want to come along?” Blake asked as he put his coat on.

“No thanks, I think I just need to get my stuff and go to bed. Thanks though.” Nadine declined politely and she made her way to Elizabeth’s office. Nadine knocked twice and didn’t get an answer, letting herself in, she found Elizabeth sprawled out on her couch with her eyes closed. Tiptoeing over, Nadine kissed her forehead and moved her legs so she could sit on the couch too. 

“I could sleep right here.” A drowsy Elizabeth said softly. 

“You should go home.” Nadine smile down at her. “Come on, I’ll help you up.” And she pulled at Elizabeth’s arm. “Okay, I am not going to lift you. How strong do you think I am?”

Elizabeth toyed with the idea of pulling Nadine down to her. Wrapping her tightly in her arms and make out with her but she felt exhausted. “Alright, alright.” And she slowly sat up. “Want to go grab some dinner?” Elizabeth offered as she stood up, shaking her head at the head rushed that followed. 

Nadine was quiet, taking things slow meant the answer was no, but she honestly didn’t care about that. She wanted normalcy again. The fight was just over 24 hours ago but it felt like ages. “Pizza?” Nadine asked with a smile. “And then maybe back you your place?”

“I swear, you read my mind.” Elizabeth said she grabbed her rain gear. “It stopped raining, finally.”

“It was that or burritos. You are not hard to figure out when it comes to dinner. Although it wouldn’t kill you to eat something green every now and then.” Nadine said sarcastically with a crocked grin. 

“Well, healthy isn’t what I am going for tonight.” Elizabeth swooped back ground to couch to get the last of her stuff. “Ready?”

After pizza they had had arrived at Elizabeth’s and quickly shred from business to pajamas. Nadine didn’t need to race to her apartment because she had a drawer full of her things. Once settled, the pair was on the couch. Elizabeth was scanning through emails as Nadine did the same. “This couch has seen a lot.” Nadine started. Elizabeth looked up at her and cocked her head. “It’s seen us come together, and almost fall apart.” Nadine said as she put her phone down and picked up a pillow. “It’s also seen movie nights, and I would not be surprised if there is popcorn in these cushions.”

Elizabeth took off her glasses as she nodded in agreement. “But you know what my first memory is of you and this couch?” She asked.

“No, what?”

“You had some boring book, and I was too busy being lost in your presence, your eyes, your…everything that I just decided to go with the flow and…” in a swift movement she straddled Nadine. Cupping her face as she kissed her. The kisses were slow, and delicate. Elizabeth was waiting, waiting for permission to love Nadine the way she so desperately wanted to. She felt her own need and lust ripping through her brain. She wanted to touch and be touched. She wanted to lose herself completely. 

Nadine broke the kiss with a grin “oh, that memory.” She said quietly, a whisper that seemed to tease Elizabeth as she spoke. “I remember it well.” Her hands settled on Elizabeth’s hips. “I also remember this part quite vividly.” She slid her hands up Elizabeth’s shirt, Elizabeth sucked in a quick breath as she did. Nadine ran her thumbs over Elizabeth’s nipples. 

Elizabeth couldn’t handle it, she saw white and felt a shock down her spine as she pulled Nadine in. Kissing her rough and fast. She surrendered herself to the moment and to the woman beneath her. “Nadine” she whispered, her heart pounding in her ears. “I don’t want to fight like we did yesterday, I had a glimpse at what life would be without you and it haunts me.”

“It haunts me too. But I don’t want you to worry.” She answered as she pressed her forehead to Elizabeth’s.

“And I don’t want you to worry either. We are stuck like glue, you and me.” 

“Yes, we are.” Nadine smiled. “Always.”


	12. A trip to New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking a trip to New York for a Broadway show, dinner, and museums in a quick weekend get away from saving the world. A fun weekend unfolds but what do you do when you get a pesky journalist looking for dirt on a Secretary and Chief of Staff taking a vacation and staying at the same hotel? When you run into an old theatre friend?

Elizabeth sat at her desk, she was eagerly counting down the hours until it was time to go home. It was the first time in a long time she and Nadine were going to have the weekend free. They had decided that they would take a trip to New York. Nadine had been wanted to see Hamilton on Broadway and Elizabeth surprised her with tickets. Nadine knew her way around New York from her time on the Broadway stage, she kept tabs on the best restaurants, places to go, and things to do. She had picked out a hotel in Downtown Manhattan near the World Trade Center. What Elizabeth was most excited about what the fact that their room was on the 53rd floor, meaning they would get a spectacular view of the city from above. 

A knock on the door brought Elizabeth out of her trance and back to the task at hand. “Come in!” She yelled as she took her glasses off.

Blake came in “Hi, Ma’am. I have Russell Jackson here for you.” But before poor Blake could even finish the full introduction Russell pushed right through him and shooed him away. 

“Russell, what even is the point of you checking in if you are just going to blow through my poor assistant.” Elizabeth looked at him, trying to hide the annoyance.

“He takes too long. Besides, this is important.” He paused waiting for Elizabeth to chime in but she just stared at him. “The President wants to have you give a press talk regarding the recovery work happening in Cuba. And he wants it done ASAP.”

“This could have happened through a phone call. But yes, I am aware and it will happen. But not until Monday the earliest. I am waiting on reports from our medics and engineers.” She folded her hands and looked directly through him. 

“The sooner the better, Elizabeth.” the statement was slow and low as it slithered through his crooked mouth. Her name rolling of his tongue like a child who was in trouble for low marks on an exam. He used to make her feel so small when he spoke to her that way, but after a few years, she found her footing, and also had heels that made her taller. 

“I am well aware. Have a good day.” She said through her teeth. When he left, she spun in her chair. It was only 2:30 and she wanted this day to be over. Returning to her computer, she saw the post-it note that Nadine had snuck on there a few months ago. The note read ‘I love you” in Nadine’s perfect penmanship inside a heart. Looking at the note, Elizabeth smiled and thought about the expression on Nadine’s face when she got them Broadway tickets. She flashed into a whole slew of some of her favorite memories of Nadine. 

Some of those memories were lazy Sundays with messy hair and coffee, some were toe curling breathtaking climaxes, some were conference room debates, some were the adventures they got to take on their visits to other states and countries. But her favorite was just cooking meals together that they would share while they danced around the kitchen. She thought back to a few months back when they had an outrageously painful fight and a few of the other small back and forths that would often lead to terrific make ups. Elizabeth paused as she started to think about their future and she felt something, butterflies? Yes, it was butterflies, she felt them fairly consistently around Nadine. She broke into a wide grin as she filtered through the whirlwind of emotions and memories. Reaching for the end of the post-it she said “Oh, Nadine. I hope someday I get to become your wife.”

There was a knock on her door and she nearly fell out of her chair as she snapped back into the present. “Come, come in.” She stuttered as she held her heart in her chest. 

“Hi Ma’am I have a few speeches ready for when we… are you okay?” Matt saw her clutching her chest with a flush face. “I’ll get help!”

“No no! I just jumped out of my skin when you knocked on door.” She laughed trying to play the situation off as cool as she could.

“Oh! Ma’am, I am so sorry! I know what it is like when you are in the zone. The rest of the world fades away. It is both a blessing and a curse.” He laughed as he said that, but the impatient look on Elizabeth’s face was a kind reminder that she wanted to get back to work and he was in the way. “Well, here are 3 iterations of the speech depending on what the medics comeback with. I’ll let you get back at it.” Just as quickly as he walked in he practically vanished.

Time marched slowly as Elizabeth read each speech, her focus kept drifting and her mind kept wondering but she finally made it through all 3 by the time her watch said it 5:01. This time there was no knock, just the slow creak of her door opening and closing. Peaking over the edge of her paper she saw Nadine waltz in. And the butterflies came right back. 

“You know people usually knock.” Elizabeth said slyly. 

“Yeah and?” Nadine shot back as she walked up to Elizabeth’s desk and leaned over it. “So, what?” the deviously playful smile made Elizabeth’s heart skip a beat. “Whatever will you do about that?”

“Oh, I can easily think of a few things.” Elizabeth said as she leaned forward, and brought her face to be mere inches from Nadine’s. She could smell the sweet perfume and shampoo. “And if I put the time in, I could think of many more.” She leaned in a little further, only to quickly pull away and lean back in her chair. It took all the self-control she had to do so. But the shocked look Nadine wore was reward enough. 

“Alright, truce?” Nadine offered 

“Fine, truce.” Elizabeth leaned forward again and kissed her. “Hey, babe. Ready to go?”

“I have been packed since Monday.” Nadine answered excitedly, but the excitement faded when she saw Elizabeth stare blankly at her. “Don’t tell me you haven’t packed yet.” Elizabeth’s stared at the floor. “We are leaving early tomorrow morning, how are you not!?”

“Easy, because we are leaving tomorrow morning, I still have time!” Elizabeth said as she stood to gather her things. “I will do it before bed, I promise.” And with that the pair walked through a very empty seventh floor to the motorcade. The ride to Elizabeth’s mostly Nadine chatting about Hamilton, and the story behind it and the songs behind it. Elizabeth watched her bubble over. Admiring the pure enthusiasm and excitement and all she could do was smile. 

Once at Elizabeth’s they made dinner. A quick, easy, stir fry. Nadine was gathering the vegetables out of the fridge when Elizabeth put on the music. And the dances began. It started out fun, with them both singing along as they chopped. Then switched to something smooth and sweepy. As Nadine watched over the skillet, she started to sway her hips with the tone. Elizabeth walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around her to match her sway. She kissed the back of Nadine’s neck, making her pause for a moment as she leaned into Elizabeth and tilted her neck giving her perfect access to her favorite spot. The spot that when Elizabeth kissed or nibbled sent a chill down her spine. “I love you.” Nadine whispered as she looked over her shoulder at Elizabeth. 

“And I love you.” Elizabeth said as Nadine quickly moved the skillet off the heat and spun in Elizabeth’s arms and kissed her long and slow as they swayed with the music filled the kitchen. “I’m all set for tomorrow. And I packed a little something extra.” She whispered.

“Extra?” Nadine asked.

“You’ll get to see it tomorrow night. That is your only hint.” Nadine’s eyes when wide. “I hope you like it.”

“Is it… lacy?” Nadine asked slowly. 

“Maybe.” Elizabeth answered shortly. 

Nadine sucked in a quick breath. She wanted to see it now, forget dinner. But the sparkle in Elizabeth’s told her she would have to wait no matter how badly she begged for it. “Well, I am sure it will be lovely.” Trying to sound cool as a cucumber and not all hot and bothered. “The um… food. Stir Fry. Is… its… ready.” 

As they munched away, Nadine went into great detail about the plan for their trip. Starting with what stops to make into New York so they could be there in New York in time to stop and get brunch at her favorite spot. To museums before they caught their show then back to their hotel. It was a full day and Elizabeth already tired, but excited for the weekend getaway. 

“Nadine, just lead the way and I will follow.” Elizabeth said as she gathered their plates and out them in the dishwasher.

“Is there anything specific you want to see?” Nadine asked quickly realizing she never actually considered what Elizabeth had wanted to do.

“I do want to get to the museum of Natural History, they have a Titanosaur and that little kid in me that still wants a pet dinosaur really wants to see it.” Elizabeth didn’t even turnaround from the sink but she could hear Nadine move around in her chair to face forward. 

“We will go there! Sunday? I figured Sunday morning was best left open…” Nadine’s voice trailed off. 

Elizabeth chuckled. “I have to finish up a few things so I can be ready for the press talk Monday and not have to worry about it over the weekend.” 

“I’ll shower and read more of my book upstairs.” It was easier for Nadine to be out of site in the event someone came to talk with Elizabeth. Even though whoever that might be has to go through security, it would not buy either of them enough time. Usually it was fine, if they were both dressed in their normal clothes, because having the Chief of Staff sitting the Secretary’s couch for coffee and to discuss a few things was easily acceptable. Rather than Nadine and Elizabeth lounging on the couch in their PJs lip locked and horny. “Besides, I really like the reading knock in your guest bedroom. It’s one of my favorite places to read or do computer work.”

“I’ll be up in a bit.” Elizabeth said as she sat at her desk. She took the speeches Matt had written and insert her own little thoughts in between before comparing the data from the Engineers on the damage of the city. Finally finished she closed everything and made her way upstairs to shower. A quick rinse to wash off they day soothed her sore joints. As her bare feet padded along the hall she untucked her shirt stopping to peak into the guest room at Nadine, whose feet were propped on the wall as she typed away on her computer. “I thought you were reading.” Elizabeth said as she leaned against the door.

“I was, until I received a bunch of texts from Blake regarding your press talk Monday, and I am writing him my correspondence with Congress, which I know I sent to you and him already.” Nadine answered without looking up from her computer screen

“He does that when he is nervous and wants to be careful. I can’t fault him for that.” Elizabeth added. Nadine only nodded. “I’m taking a shower then will probably pass out.” She said with a chuckle. She left a trail of clothes as she walked to the bathroom and turned on the hot water. The steam started filling the room as she stared into the mirror looking at each wrinkle that had developed around her eyes and she felt flabby from not having the time to go the gym. Soon the mirror fog over and she jumped in, letting the hot water wash away all her worries and she started to feel a growing excitement for the weekend as the warm lather traced down her body. As she rinsed off conditioner she realized this would be the first time in a long time she was going to New York and didn’t have to go to the UN. 

Quickly she finished and started to blow dry her hair and put her pajamas on. She found Nadine, propped up on pillowed with her nose back in her book when she walked out of the bathroom and saw the trail of clothes she had left piled neatly in her hamper.

“If you keep showering like that, you will always run out of hot water.” Nadine said slyly as she put the book down. 

“You can always sleep in your own bed.” Elizabeth said smoothly as she pulled back the covers and crawled in. 

“I could, but why waste time inviting old political types to my bed, when I can get Madam Sex-retary all hot and handsy?” She looked over the top of her glasses as she saw Elizabeth turn a slight shade of red. She hated that nickname, and never had a good comeback. 

“Okay listen….” But she had nothing to say just to derail the conversation but she leaned into the turn. “This Secretary” she put an emphasis on the C “likes to remind her Chief of Staff who is actually in charge.” She kicked off her covers and quickly straddled Nadine, holding her prisoner under the bedding. “Don’t you agree?” She took off Nadine’s glasses and kissed her before broke down laughing. “I’m sorry, the look on your face, you looked terrified.”

“In my defense, those are new glasses and I… wasn’t expecting that.” She said quietly as she quietly took her folded glasses and put them on the nightstand. Elizabeth was quick to be submissive in the bedroom, so when she took charge it always took Nadine by surprise. 

“I like to surprise you.” Elizabeth whispered as she scooted off and back to her own side of the bed. “Thanks for moving my line of clothes, you know I would have done that. 

“I don’t mind helping out every now and again.” Nadine smiled as she turned off her lamp and slide next to Elizabeth. “I am excited for tomorrow.” and with a goodnight kiss the pair tried to sleep. But the excitement of their journey kept them awake like kids going to Disney.

At 6:00 the alarm sounded. The pair was up, dressed, and had breakfast and was ready to get out the door by 6:35. It was impressive, at least for Elizabeth, considering on a normal day she was no stranger to hitting snooze a time or two. Once in the motorcade Elizabeth figured she would snooze, while Nadine listened to an audio book. Elizabeth was awoken with a shake, Nadine was pointed out the window as the New York City skyline was coming into view. They had made great time all things considered. It was almost noon. ‘Wow’ Elizabeth thought. ‘Much taller than D.C.”

“We are almost here!” Nadine practically shrieked. Cruising slowly into NYC crossing the Hudson River. They saw the ports with vessels some personal, some cargo, or aircraft carrier, and ferries busy at work. The buildings grew tall and thin, walls of windows shined back the warm sun, taxis zipped in and out of traffic, and the billboard were nothing but lights. The city was alive as they zigzagged to their hotel near the World Trade Center. Unloading, Elizabeth went and checked in and they were escorted to their room. Once inside Elizabeth practically ran to the window and threw back the blinds, before her Manhattan seemed to unfold. The Freedom Tower was right in view, the more she looked the more she saw buildings recognized like the Empire State Building, and the Chrysler Building She could even see parts of New Jersey. She looked on in awe when Nadine walked up next to her. 

“It is spectacular.” She said as she out her arm around Elizabeth and leaned her head on her shoulder. So much happens here. Travel through Manhattan, you’ll get Broadway shows, incredible museums, historic societies, the UN, and NASA. You know, just to name a few things.” Nadine sighed “I love D.C. but New York will always have a special place in my heart.” 

Elizabeth put her arm around Nadine and they stood quietly, admiring the view and activity beneath them for a few moments. “Shall we get something to eat and start this adventure?” Elizabeth offered. She found she would be happy to watch the day pass from her window. 

“Let’s do it.” Nadine said excitedly.

They walked out of their hotel but walking around New York, they really could not show any signs of being affectionate in the event that someone recognized Elizabeth. Elizabeth followed behind Nadine as they walked to the restaurant. She was lost by the sights and sounds and smells that Nadine had to stop her from crossing throw traffic. “Right this way… I see you are absorbing the city” Nadine was excited to share this part of her with Elizabeth. 

“I am, it has been a while.” They walked into a sweet and subtle bistro and got seats in the back room as requested. They chatted, had amazingly fresh bread and wine, while figuring out the timing of their day so they could get to the MET and then their show. “If memories serve.... The MET is next to Central Park?” Elizabeth quickly pulled up google maps to double check. 

“It is, we can go to the museum after lunch, then a stroll through the park and then the show? Good thing we are wearing comfortable shoes. Although I have to say I am used to flagging cabs and taking the subway not being escorted in a motorcade. It makes things much faster.” 

“It helps. And no one has caught on that we are here. The last thing I need is for a university or the Mayor or the UN to decide I should be present with them. Nadine, “She jumped quickly to her next thought. “I wish I could be actually holding your hand when we are out.” 

Nadine looked down at her glass and sighed. She wanted that too, desperately. But there was so much stacked up to why that was a bad idea. All centered the fact that Elizabeth was Secretary of State and she her Chief of Staff oh… and the whole queer part too. “I know.” she said back quietly. “But, we can have fun going as colleagues by day because by night…” Nadine trailed off as she flashed Elizabeth a devilish half smile. “We will just be making up for it.”

“Cheers to that.” Elizabeth said she thought about her plan for later. 

Once finished and payed. They made their way to the MET. State Department perk was that there was no wait and they were able to go behind the scenes. Elizabeth marveled at the swords and medieval horse armor. She tried to imagine her own horses in that gear and could only laugh. Her baby that she had in training was a skinny off the track thoroughbred. The big war horse armor was for drafts, he would be swimming in it, plus he was a wimp and was no longer racing because the noises of track were scary. Nadine was lost in the works of the Ancient Greeks and Romans. The structures and paintings, and the stories the told. 

When they walked out of the museum they were going to walk through Central park as the sun was disappearing behind the tall buildings of Downtown. But they were stopped, a reporter from the New York Post started calling out. “Madam Secretary, Madam Secretary.” Elizabeth bodyguards made a blockade. Elizabeth looked at Nadine with a flash of anxiety before addressing the reporter. 

“Yes?” she stopped and crossed her arms. 

“What brings you to New York? Who is this woman?” He shouted.

“I am in New York with my friend and Chief of Staff Nadine Tolliver, we are here because I have never seen a Broadway show she insisted I see Hamilton. Being that she used to live in New York, she knows all the ins and outs of this great city so she is giving me the grand tour.” Elizabeth gestured to Nadine as she spoke.

That answer was clearly not enough for the reporter. “And?”

“And, even the Secretary of State like to take a weekend to enjoy other great American cities.” Elizabeth started to walk away but the reporter yelled again.

“But why bring your Chief of Staff and be in the same hotel?” Nadine froze news traveled fast in New York.

“If you are digging for dirt you won’t find it. Nadine has become a close friend of mine, she is a brilliant public servant and is vital to our success. When she suggested I see the show, I asked her to come with me for 2 reasons. The first, who wants to go to a show alone when you can go with a friend. Second, she used to live her she wanted to visit some old friends and is my GPS. Also, hotels are huge and we have separate rooms.” Elizabeth stared down the reporter like he was a war criminal she was interrogating, and it worked.

“My last question is Cuba related, what is the status?” He shrank to the size of a subway rat.

“We are getting the final reports from our engineers and medics. Although the hurricane was large, we are helping rebuild. Look out Monday, I will have a telecon with the medics and will put out a formal statement.” She gave the reporter a smile when she finished. “Anything else?”

“No Ma’am, I mean Madam Secretary. Welcome to New York and enjoy.” and he sprinted out of sight.  
Nadine was quiet as they walked, she even kept more distance than usual between them as they walked towards the park. Once inside, and making the loop back to the west side, Elizabeth nudged Nadine.

“Hey.”

“We were almost caught.” Was all Nadine said as she looked at her shoes as they walked. Her heart was racing and she felt anxious. “Let’s skip the show. And go back to DC.” She felt her fists tightening she walked faster. 

Elizabeth grabbed her arm pulled her back to her. “Oh no. We were not caught and we are not going back to DC.” Nadine’s was red, she had been holding back tears. “Hey. Don’t worry, he is put in his place. I texted Daisy and she is on working on killing the article. Nothing you and I did was out of the ordinary for a pair of friends.” She was trying to comfort Nadine but it wasn’t working. The path was empty aside from a few joggers and ball players on the lawn. Elizabeth scanned the area when her eyes settled on a large tree and she power walked, taking a reluctant Nadine with her. 

Nadine found her back pressed against the tree, with Elizabeth standing over her. “We can’t…” But her words were lost as Elizabeth kissed her fast and sloppy. Nadine leaned all her weight against the tree, it was the only thing keeping her grounding. “Or that.” She whispered out of breath. 

“I believe we have just enough time for our reservation and a show?” Elizabeth asked offering her hand. Nadine took it as they walked back to the path, giving her a squeeze before releasing. The stopped to admire the skyline of Central Park South, and kept walking towards the West Side. One on the other side the motorcade was waiting and so was the New York Post Journalist. 

“Are you waiting for some news to spill?” Elizabeth asked. 

“For you, Chief of Staff, are you seeing anyone?”

“No, how could I after I lost my husband in a car accident?” Nadine didn’t even think twice before the lie. Throwing former Secretary Marsh under the bus was worth it. 

“Oh…”

“Were you waiting for us here?” Nadine followed. 

“As soon you left for the park, I zipped around to beat you to the other side… to interview… you.” He saw Elizabeth’s stare down. “Also, your office called and said I had to pull the story and I will likely get fired, I was trying to safe my ass.”

“Goodnight.” was all Elizabeth said as she opened the door and hopped in. Once they drove away leaving the reporter in the dust, Elizabeth look at Nadine. “Well played” and read over and squeezed her hand.  
“Looks like Marsh was good for somethings.” Nadine said with a sigh as she rolled her eyes. “So, dinner?”

“Lead the way.” Elizabeth said as she pulled her phone out to check for emails or missed calls. 

Once at the restaurant, they were immediately seat but before Elizabeth could even pick up a menu Nadine flagged down a waiter. “Hi, we will have to glasses of red, merlot is fine. I’ll have the Chicken Penne, and she will have the Spring Platter.”

The waiter jotted it all down. “How are you Miss. Nadine?” He asked with a big smile. “Would you like bread to salads to start?” 

“Bread… Javier? No way!” Nadine asked.

“Hun, you better stand and give me a hug it has been years since we last saw each other. Are you still slaying it in DC? I can’t wait to tell Kevin I saw you, he still is in awe of being in Chicago with you.”

“You husband was terrific in that, tell him I said hello. How about you? Acting still?”

“I was… then I bought the theaters favorite restaurant. So, who is this gorgeous woman with you?” Elizabeth looked over the edge of her water glass.

“That would be Elizabeth, my…” Nadine paused. “Col…” 

“Hi” Elizabeth cut in. “Elizabeth Adams, the girlfriend.” She extended her hand to shake Javier’s and saw Nadine turn pink, and pinched her lips to hide a grin.

“Why is that name familiar.” He looked at Nadine and back to Elizabeth.

“I am Secretary of State.” Elizabeth added. “If that helps. Nadine is my Chief of Staff and she is very much slaying it.”

“You… Nadine…? Javier was looking for the right words but he couldn’t. “Damn girl! The Secretary of State?” He grabbed Nadine’s arms. “You are the Chief of Staff? Why didn’t you tell me you were so important!”

“Javi, please. I’m still me.”

“Do I bow? Is that a thing?” Javier was suddenly nervous. 

“No! I am not a queen.” Javier nodded and turned back to Nadine. “But you can’t tell a soul we are an item.”

“Understood. Being public and gay is not something people like, especially in a field like you two. You are out saving the world. You need all the support you can get.” Javier waved over another waiter and handed him the order so he could stay chatting. “I have so many questions, Nadine we need to catch up. But I will let you two be.” and he winked as he walked away. 

With one last hug he was gone. “I hope you don’t mind that I ordered, I used to eat at this place all the time in my Broadway days that it felt so nice to be back, and I knew what you would like.” Nadine said as she sat back down.

“I don’t mind it, I kinda like it when you take charge.” Elizabeth smiled as she as she took another sip of water. 

“You… you told Javier you were my girlfriend…” 

“I do believe I did”


	13. Starstruck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night grows into a fun and blissful night, allowing both Elizabeth and Nadine to forget, if even for just a moment. That they carried the wait of the world and get lost with one another.

Nadine looked at Elizabeth completely star struck. She said it, to a random person, that they were an item. 

“I did not mean to render you speechless.” Elizabeth said with a smile, “But dealing with that reporter made me realize that, cover can be blown, I want to be able to show you off, I want to tell people.” She thought back to that vicious fight they had months ago, and how it literally could have been avoided if Elizabeth had not been afraid to say they were together. 

“Elizabeth.” was all Nadine was able to say. “This makes me so incredibly happy.” Her mind was a buzz, they were together for close to 3 years and she knew Elizabeth was her person, her girlfriend, her everything but hearing it out loud to another person. She felt so proud, she was falling in love all over again.

Their wine and bread came, the waiter made a quick comment. “I was told to inform you that your meals are on the house, courtesy of our owner. He instructed me to tell Nadine?” he looked back and forth until Nadine raised her hand “‘You are still terrible at matching wines with meals, so try this.’” And he departed leaving a bottle of pink wine, glasses, and a basket of bread. 

Nadine rolled her eyes. As Elizabeth reached for the bottle. “Javier is a handful isn’t he?” Elizabeth ask as she poured the glasses. 

“He is, but he and I go way back, I might even say we were best friends.” Nadine responded. “It’s fun to be back in this scene especially with you.” She raised her glass. “So, we should probably tell the staff?” Nadine was still bubbling internally. 

“Yeah, when we get back. It will make much more sense to Daisy to keep the Post from publishing this once she knows and it’s not ‘two best buds taking a weekend away.’ I just don’t know how.” She looked at Nadine for answered. 

“We call a meeting and tell. But, like I said, one step at a time. No rush.” She reached across the table and squeezed Elizabeth’s. They chatted, debating on how they were going to tell the staff, debating on if the wine that was suggested matched their meals-it did, and talk about trying to take more weekend getaways to see more of New York, or another city or maybe some national parks. Elizabeth did want to try Death Valley. Once finished, they had a cup of coffee before they left for the theatre. 

“Nadine?” Elizabeth asked carefully. “I have something I want to give you.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a long, slim, iconic Tiffany blue box. Nadine put down her cup and studied Elizabeth’s every move. The ribbon that was tied around it had gotten smushed but was still a vibrant white. Elizabeth handed Nadine the box. “Open it.”

Nadine untied the ribbon and opened the box, inside was a simple gold chain, with a small open-heart pendant at the end. Nadine looked at her wide eyed as she took the necklace out of the box held it between her fingers. “Elizabeth, it’s beautiful.” she whispered. 

“It’s a promise, a promise that I will always love you and be here for you and cheer you on.” Elizabeth said with the biggest smile on her face. 

Nadine put on the necklace. Running the tips of her fingers over the delicate chain and stopping on the heart. She noticed engraved in inside the heart said ‘Always’ and she felt her eyes well up with tears. This moment, was something she never wanted to let go of. “And forever.” She said as she reached for Elizabeth. Nadine gave up and let the tears roll down her cheeks. She stood, Elizabeth was mirroring her movements. “I love you.” was all Nadine was able to say as she wrapped herself around Elizabeth and kissed her. 

“Hey, there is no need for those tears.” Elizabeth said as she wiped them away. 

“I have never been so happy.” Nadine said as she looked down at the necklace. “I… I don’t have anything for you.” 

“Nadine, I don’t need anything when I have you. It's just that you mean everything to me.” as she hugged her girlfriend tightly.

Javier was coming to the table when he saw the tender interaction he stopped and surveyed the area to divert attention. Not to their extreme, but he knew what it was like relying on stolen moments and he wanted to make sure his friend could get every stolen moment she deserved. He knew Nadine when she had started out on the Broadway scene, she was a gem. She could dance, she could sing, all the while she was going to school. He was never sure how she pulled it off. Her pure heart made her fall victim to some of the rough players. Javier helped put her pieces back together many times. Nadine was simple, she wanted to love and be loved and would give herself completely to her work and to any person who put their heart up for consideration. Although her talents were spectacular on stage, she was always bound to do something bigger. She was going to help change the world. And she had finally made that happen. Javier saw the way Elizabeth looked at Nadine, talked to her, reached for her, there was a love that was better than any story book, or any play or musical. He would stand on patrol until they left. 

The pair left the table and started to make their way to the door. Elizabeth kept walking to the motorcade and Nadine stopped to hug Javier. “Thanks, we need to catch up. Call me?” She handed him her card with her cellphone number written on the back. 

“Talk soon Miss. Nadine!” He said as she hurried away. “I love the necklace, she did a great job.” Nadine felt her cheeks flush a bright pink as rushed to the car. They had just enough time to zip down to the theatre. 

Nadine lead the way into the theatre where she and Elizabeth got to bypass the line, and were ushered in to their priority seating. Nadine knew it was all because of their titles but she felt like a celebrity nonetheless. The house lights dimmed. The theatre was dark and all was quiet for for a second before music filled the room as the curtain lifted and Nadine cheered. They watched at the edge of their seat until intermission, when they left to use the restroom and returned with a bottle of water. As the show started again, Elizabeth put her arm around Nadine and Nadine put her head on Elizabeth’s shoulder. 

The show ended, and they cheered. With the last bow Nadine and Elizabeth started to put their coats on when they heard “A special thanks to the wonderful Secretary of State and Chief of Staff for joining us tonight. Ladies, you do a wonderful job saving the world and working for democracy we can only hope we put a smile on your faces.” as the cast looked in the direction of the special reserved seating areas.

Elizabeth leaned over the rail and waved and the audience cheered again. “You guys were great. Thanks for a terrific show.” Retreating from the edge, Elizabeth had a huge smile as they were about to leave. They were escorted through the crowd and into the motorcade. “I kinda of felt like a celebrity when they call us out on attending.” Elizabeth said to a beaming Nadine.

“Well, in a way I guess we are?” Nadine looked out the window, it was a short drive to their hotel but the city was so much alive. Nadine was thinking fondly of some of the good times post show bar hoping or rendezvous with friends All the good times were flashing by, but as they did she found wanting to relive those moments with Elizabeth. Nadine played with the necklace thought about how much joy it brought her to here Elizabeth tell someone they were together. Maybe someday, Nadine thought, she could introduce Elizabeth as her wife. 

Once they arrived at the hotel, they quickly rushed into their room. Elizabeth made a beeline to the window and saw just how lovely it was to see NYC alive with lights. Nadine walked up next to her and put her arm around her. She started to point out all of the iconic buildings and other details of ferries, or planes, or the Hudson River, or the area that is actually New Jersey. It looked so different in lights. 

“Most of these buildings I have only seen in movies. It’s very cool to see all these buildings up close. They are incredible architectural achievements that all fit together like an amazing puzzle.” She looked over at Nadine as she spoke. “That necklace looks amazing on you.”

Nadine looked down and played with it. “I love it and I love you.” Nadine smiled as she turned slightly on her heels to press a kiss on Elizabeth’s lips “I have had a lot of fun tonight, all things considered.” 

“Me too. But the fun is not over yet.”

Elizabeth dropped her head and kissed Nadine hard. As she pulled her in as close to her as she could. Nadine felt her head spin as she as she kissed Elizabeth in return. Elizabeth’s hands traveled down to Nadine’s rear and gave it a firm squeeze. 

Nadine pulled away as she sucked in a quick breath. Her eyes locked with Elizabeth as she cupped Elizabeth’s face in her hands. “Shall we?” She offered indicating toward the bed. 

“Oh yes, although I have something I should slip into.” Elizabeth said she started to walk away. 

“Wait. I just want you as you.” Nadine said as she grabbed Elizabeth’s arm. “However,” Nadine said with a crooked smile. “I’ll lead this dance.” 

Walking backwards, Elizabeth felt the back of her knees hit the plush comforter as she reached out to hold Nadine, Nadine pushed her back on the bed. Elizabeth bounced back and let out a happy ‘squee’ as she slid back. “So, what is the plan?”

Nadine’s only response was to climb over Elizabeth and kiss her as she slid up her body. Each kiss was soft and slow. The glow of the city lights through their window made the room have a delicate glow. Bodies pressed together as they started to wrap around one another. Nadine grabbed on to fist fulls of hair while Elizabeth slide her hands down Nadine’s curves and stopped at her rear. Nadine slide off the t-shirt Elizabeth was wearing, leaving her in her jeans and simple black bra. Nadine sat up, undoing the buttons of her own shirt, and admiring the necklace at sit glimmered in the light in the process. 

Tossing her shirt aside, returned to being lip locked. Her hips started to grind against Elizabeth, making her moan. With her teeth, she slowly pulled down Elizabeth’s bra to expose her nipple which she eagerly took into her mouth causing Elizabeth to swear under her breath and dig her nails into Nadine’s back, not that Nadine minded. Her free hand slide under the other cup, pinching and teasing. Elizabeth arched her back as a shock of pleasure radiated through her body as Nadine started to suck and nibble. 

Elizabeth reached for Nadine’s back clasp and with a flick of her wrist, her bra slid down her arms. But Nadine sat up, stopping Elizabeth. “I said, I would lead.” Elizabeth tried to flash her big blue eyes but Nadine only laughed. “Nice try babe.” and she took both of Elizabeth’s hands and put them over her head and winked as she slid Elizabeth jeans off, panties and all. Nadine traced her fingers Elizabeth’s wet and ready lips. Elizabeth watched her every move. She desperately wanted Nadine to fuck her, hard. But Nadine wanted to tease her, make her ride the edge of her climax until she was seeing stars. Nadine dipped 2 fingers into Elizabeth’s warm pussy and curled them. Elizabeth sucked in a quick breath. Nadine almost a little to eagerly to engulfed her clit, licking and sucking, making Elizabeth buck her hips. 

“Fuck. Oh Fuck, Babe.” Elizabeth moaned. As Nadine’s fingers pounded into her. She reached to grab a pillow, she wanted to reach for her girlfriend but knew it wasn’t permitted. Nadine removed her fingers and replaced them with her tongue. “Oh fuck, Nadine.” As her talented tongue pushed Elizabeth closer and closer to her climax. “Ba..be. I… I… am so.” As a shock of pleasure ripped through her body, Elizabeth screamed out Nadine’s name as her world rocked around her. She laid splayed out on the bed as Nadine made her way up to her and kissed her. Elizabeth could taste herself on her lips and it was intoxicating.

“Hey.” Nadine said with a sly smile

“Don’t you just ‘hey’ me.” Elizabeth sassed back. As she quickly pinned down Nadine. “It’s your turn.” Elizabeth wasted no time taking off Nadine’s pants and she kissed her. But her lips wandered down her neck to her breasts, where she toyed with each one, giving them the care they deserved, before kissing between them and down her stomach to her pussy. “I could take my time or…” her fingers worked their way around, Nadine was all to ready and practically whimpered when Elizabeth retreated. “As you wish.”  
And with that, fingers working on that perfect spot with her tongue working on her clit. Her free hand started to toy with Nadine’s nipple. 

Nadine moaned, keeping her hips planted on the bed was harder and harder as a familiar sensation started at her core. “Eliz..Elizabeth.” she whisper. Elizabeth put no restrictions, Nadine had fist fulls of hair as she started to feel lighter. “I… GAH” she felt herself clench around Elizabeth’s fingers. That familiar sensation shot through body. Elizabeth tongue took every last drop, making Nadine ride out her climax as long as she could. 

She crawled up Nadine’s body and gently laid her weight on her breast to breast. “Hey, you.” She said. 

“Don’t you ‘hey’ me.” Nadine said as she cupped Elizabeth’s cheek in her hand. “I love you.”

“And I love you.” Elizabeth answered as she shifted to her side of the bed. 

The pair whispered little nothings and shared giggles. Elizabeth for a moment, forgot that they were not in DC, forgot that she was Secretary of State, forgot the stress she carried, all she could think of was the terrific woman next to her. And how this was something she never wanted to end. Nadine, wished this weekend would last forever, wished she could show Elizabeth so much more about New York, see more shows, more museums. She felt so at peace as she curled up against Elizabeth and drifted to sleep. 

They woke to the sun shining through the window and the busy streets of downtown became alive. Nadine looked at her watch 7:49. Well, that is later then she usually sleeps, but still early to Elizabeth’s standards of the morning. Nadine rolled over and saw Elizabeth with her blonde hair a mess as she slept on her side holding onto the blanket like a child would hold a stuffed animal. Nadine kissed her. “Morning sunshine.”

Elizabeth rolled over. “Good morning babe.” She was still while her eyes were getting into focus “bunch? Is it brunch? I can’t wait for brunch.” She suddenly got very excited.

Nadine rolled her eyes “The sooner you are up, yes.” then she laughed. Elizabeth loved brunch, sangria and waffles, nothing was better. 

Once they were dressed, and put together, they packed their bags to put in the motorcade, they went to a rooftop bar for brunch. More laughs and smiles, and old friends of Nadine’s. Elizabeth didn’t miss a beat and greeted them all excitedly and introduced herself the same way, ‘the girlfriend’. After a terrific brunch the pair scooted back to the motor and made their way back to DC. They watch the New York City skyline fade away as they drove away. 

“Babe, this weekend was a blast.” Nadine said as she turned back to face Elizabeth.

“It really was.” Elizabeth reach out for Nadine’s hand and took a deep breath. “I want to tell the staff about us.”

“As long as we have not national emergency, after your press talk tomorrow, we can do it tomorrow afternoon?”

With a nod, they went to their own things, Elizabeth started to check the emails she ignored all weekend and Nadine starting listening to the Hamilton soundtrack… for the 100th time.


	14. You knew?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So they told the staff, but where they actually surprised?

Nadine walked into Elizabeth’s office, and went straight to her desk. “Are you ready?” She had set up a meeting for the staff so she and Elizabeth could share their news .

“No, yes, maybe?” Was Elizabeth’s answer. 

“We can do this.” Nadine answered. “I’ll meet you in there.” as she turned to walk away she said over her shoulder. “I love you.”

Elizabeth broke into a smile, “I love you too!” She knew she had no reason to be nervous, and yet, she was. She didn’t have a lot of family around her other than work, work was her friends, and family. And yes, she wanted them to know.

Nadine walked into the conference room and took her normal seat, opened her binder, and looked over some notes. The notes were not relevant to the meeting today, but keeping everything normal kept her at ease. 

“Nadine.” it was Daisy. “I really like that necklace!” 

Nadine felt all eyes dart to her and she felt herself blush as she reach for the charm. “Why thank you. It was a gift.”

‘Oh? From who?” Daisy tried to be nosy, but Nadine gave her a look that stopped it in her tracks of asking more.

“I might tell you later.” Was all she said with a devilish grin.  
Shortly after, Elizabeth walked in and flopped into her seat and looked at Nadine who have her and encouraging wink. 

“Okay you guys. There are a few reasons why you are here.” Elizabeth paused debating the flow of this meeting. “The press conference was a success and it seems like our medics and really helping the efforts after the storm, Matt, thank you for those speeches even those I didn’t use a single one. By the end of the week with will expect most of our aide to return to the states.” She paused and looked down at her notepad, only thing left to discuss. She flashed Nadine a terrified glance. 

Nadine nodded as she took over, “there is one other order of business is...” Nadine felt calm and collected, she wanted her staff, her family, to know what was happening. “The Secretary and I are in a relationship, and we have been for almost 3 years.” Nadine looked around the room as she spoke. “We have been careful to not have this information known by others. We did not need any backlash from the media, or other world leaders, or even whispers within the department.”

The staff was quiet, the delivery of this information was like just another bullet point on a list, which was fitting for these two. They waited patiently for more information. 

“We want you to know, you all like family.” Elizabeth stated finally finding her footing, for someone who could interrogate the worst of monsters, this should not make her as nervous as it did. “If there is issue, please speak up.” Elizabeth bit her lip, somehow she felt like she needed to prepare for the worst. Without a thought she reach to grab Nadine’s hand. 

The conference room filled with cheers and congratulations. Blake started to speak “I am sure I am speaking for everyone, but this is awesome, and we are really happy for you guys. But, there is something we need to tell you. We have been taking bets when this would happen. I saw you two at a bar by the mall, gitty and tipsy and saying ‘I love you.’ Matt saw you two dancing at the gala two months ago, and that trip to New York? Come on.”

“I did see you guys and you guys are way better than I am.” Matt chimed in. 

“Your relationship is safe with us, Ma’am.” Daisy said. “From a PR standpoint, it is helpful to know. There has not been a whisper out there, and I will make sure of it. And I will crush the Post if they try anything.” 

“Wait, so you guys...?” Elizabeth was shocked. “Wow, okay.” She looked over at Nadine and smiled.

“We are happy for you guys, it’s about time.” Blake said as he looked up from his computer. “We really are, you have all of our support. I mean that.” He said sincerely.

“Thank you I… I don’t know what to say.” Nadine was too thrilled to keep her thought going as her eyes locked onto Elizabeth’s.

“I do.” Elizabeth said. She brought a hand to Nadine’s cheek and pulled her in for a kiss. Nadine turned a bright pink as they parted. “Now, with all that said and done. Thank you all for your support. You are a terrific staff and family. Now, back to saving democracy.” Elizabeth clapped her hands. 

“Yes Ma’am” was said in unison as the staff started to depart. Daisy stopped and said “I just want to congratulate you guys again, I also have so many questions, but those can wait, this is exciting!” But stopped as she was about to leave. “Wait, Nadine, the necklace.” Nadine nodded. “Ugh, I love it even more.” and off she went.

“So.” Nadine said as she smiled up at Elizabeth now that they were finally alone. 

“I feel a lot lighter, all things considered.” She smiled as she took a step closer to Nadine and reach out for her arm. “I love you.”

“And I love you.” Nadine stole a kiss after she had said it. “Let’s get back to work, any plans later?” She said cheekily. 

“Well, might be here a while, but check in before you leave? I might be able to find a good reason to leave.” Elizabeth winked. 

“Okay love, see you in a bit.” And Nadine turned in her heels and walked out. 

Elizabeth started to wonder, should they tell the President? One step at a time she reminded herself. She felt like she was moving at twice the speed of life at this point and had to stop herself from wanting to work on a proposal plan.


	15. In the flash of a camera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While admiring spring time in DC Nadine and Elizabeth share a selfie and a kiss, little do they know... there was someone watching. Are they caught? What will they tell the press, or Dalton?

The work day had come to an early end. Nadine took advantage of the free time in the warm weather to run some errands before meeting Elizabeth for dinner. The warmer weather was attracting more people to the National Mall, museums, and the delightful time of admiring the cherry blossoms. 

The restaurant they were going to was just a block or two off Pennsylvania Ave. Nadine took the time to admire the blossoms. The roads where loud, and the sidewalks were crowded with people. As she walked to a nearby tree and held a blossom the chaos faded. Her thumb stroked its smooths petals as she breathed in the fresh air. She followed the details of the petals to its branch. For a moment, she was not in DC, she was elsewhere. Lost in the floating sea of pinks and whites. 

The noise faded around her. She started thinking of what it would be like when she retired, not that it would happen any day soon, but what it be like for her and Elizabeth. This was the kind of bliss she wanted. Weekends they would escape to her horse farm in Virginia showed her a new kind of quiet. The air smelled different, a kind of grassy freshness as it rolled in across the fields. The sun seemed brighter, and nights were darker. She saw stars and constellations she only ever read about as a girl.

She was bumped into, and snapped back into the present. She walked a little further down the road to find a less crowded tree to admire. This tree didn’t have as many blooms remaining as its green leaves started to take over. But the branches hung over the edge and drooped under their own weight. Leaning her back against it she reached for a branch. She let her mind wander as she watched petals fall to the ground. She once had people throw flowers on stage around her, but this, a wispy drift of petals around her let her both peaceful and a little sad. These petals would just be swept away, forgotten about, or forever memorialized in an Instagram post. 

She stood under the tree, she was unaware of the number of petals that had fallen into her curly hair. She pulled her phone out to take a picture, only to see she had a text from Elizabeth saying she was a little early. A nice change of pace from the usual wait time. She sent a text in response saying she was at the cherry blossoms. Sitting on a nearby bench she dug through her bag to get her journal. She wanted to write about the blossoms. She wanted to try to write down her favorite moments and every now and again she would remember. Keeping a journal was never something she was good at keeping it up to date.

As she finished her notes she noticed that someone had was settling into the bench next to her. The smell of the person next to her was the perfume Elizabeth like to wear for important White House meetings. “You have a few petals in your hair.” The person said. 

“You know, you could say hello.” Nadine said as turned to look at Elizabeth. 

“Hello, babe, you have petals in your hair.” she reached to pluck a few petals out “How are you?”

“I love the blossoms…” Nadine looked around, “But I also like dinner, shall we go?” She had skipped lunch because she was excited to try this new restaurant She extended her hand to Elizabeth as she stood. 

Elizabeth took her hand and nodded with a smile. “One thing first” She said. She took her phone out and wanted to take a selfie of them with the blossoms behind them. Arms looped around each other, with wide bright smiles. Elizabeth started to click away. Elizabeth turned and kissed Nadine cheek, she felt her smile and she clicked the camera. Nadine kissed her back, and she clicked the camera again. Those would be keepers. “Alright, we can go.” She said as she looked through the pictures. 

They walked the few blocks to get to the restaurant, keeping a professional distance as they talked about their days. Once seated, Nadine did her usual, a binder and notepad with notes from work scribbled on it was on the table. The conversation was started dull, work this and work that, trying to figure out if it was possible for Elizabeth travel to the for an energy summit in Europe with the current cuts to State Department. The conversation drifted to the wishful trips they wanted to take as the weather was getting warmer.

“You know Elizabeth… I think it about time that we talk about that empty stall and when we can look for a horse for me.” She saw Elizabeth’s face light up. “I may not ride a lot, however, when you and I finally get out of public service I see a lot of sunset trail rides in our future” Elizabeth smiled and reached for Nadine’s hands as Nadine started to talk about the horse she had been dreaming about. 

“Nadine it is music to my ears to hear that you want that.” Elizabeth said as she reached for her glass of water. 

“Let me see those pictures, I want to send them to myself.” Elizabeth slide her phone across the table as she excused herself to use the restroom. Nadine scrolled through images, a grin spread across her lips as she looked through them, she paused at the photo of them smooching, the lighting and the petals it brought her so much joy. As she went to send it to herself, something in the background, a flash, someone was taking a picture while the person next to them was pointing. Oh no… well, maybe they were just pointing at the tree? She finished sending the photos when Elizabeth returned. “We… we might have an issue.” she said before Elizabeth could speak. She opening the photo and zoomed in. 

“Shit.” was all Elizabeth said. Nadine could see the gears turning in her head, trying to think of every possible solution. “I’ll call Daisy… I have no I have no idea how we can get out of this one.”

“What about the President?” Nadine asked quietly. All time that had been nothing but bliss was not about to blow up in their faces. All she knew was that she wanted to hide, like a turtle in her shell. 

“Hey.” Elizabeth said, but Nadine stayed staring at the table. “Hey, look at me. We will get through this, I promise you. Okay?” The look on Elizabeth’s face was so pure, so delicate, and so determined. “I promise.”

Nadine fought a smile, “Yes, Yes we will. So… Where do we start?” 

“With a call to Daisy and a stop to the White House.” Elizabeth set with a sigh. “I am sorry.”

“Don’t be.” They flagged down their waitress and paid. Moving into the motorcade, Nadine called Daisy and Elizabeth called Dalton. “Daisy, its Nadine. I’m doing alright, but we need your help. Yes… Yes… I… Listen, Elizabeth and I were walking to dinner, we stopped to look at the cherry trees, took a few selfies, and we have reason to believe someone has a photo of us… lip locked.” There was a long pause as Daisy scrambled to get her answer. “Thank you, talk soon.”

“Hey Dalton, I am sorry to interrupt your evening, do you have some time now? Can I stop by? There is something I need to discuss with you. Great, see you soon.” Elizabeth leaned her head against the seat of the car as she told the driver to head to the White House. “What did Daisy say?”

“Other than being frantic, she is drafting a statement to release to the media if this photo is to surface, she is also putting a bid out to her connections so that it never does. God bless her, she is quick thinking.” Nadine reached for Elizabeth’s hand, knowing that this evening was the calm before the storm. Elizabeth nodded, as they drove they tried to find a way this could be just be nothing, just be a fleeting moment, a blip, but they knew it wouldn’t be. “Are we meeting with Dalton?” She asked.

All Elizabeth could do was nod, she was at a loss for words and almost felt like her dinner was going to come up. She squeezed Nadine’s hand as she looked out the window, lost in thought.

Once they arrived at the White House, thankful Russell wasn’t there to greet them, and made their way inside where they were greeted by Dalton. 

“So, Bess, what brings both you and your Chief of Staff here on a Thursday evening?” He extended his hand so they could sit. 

“Well, Conrad.” Elizabeth started she looked over at Nadine then back to him. “This starts with me coming to you as a friend before I am your Secretary of State.” Dalton’s eyes bounced between the two of them as he waited for Elizabeth to give her answer. “Nadine and I have been romantically involved for a little over 3 years now.”

“I know you have been keeping this a secret, but it was a little obvious, at least to me.” Dalton leaned back against his couch and looked at them both. “You seem to underestimate me Bess, your skills of secrecy from your CIA days you learned from me.” Elizabeth tried to speak but was unable to find what exactly to say. “I also know, Nadine, you had some on and off things with former Secretary Marsh, I also know he manipulated you, but you are so brilliant at your job, we, rather shamefully, looked away.” Dalton was ashamed by that fact, but the State department was working so effectively he had been afraid to get in the middle. 

“Sir, you knew?” Nadine squeaked out. “I’m less concerned about the Marsh ‘stuff’ but we will circle back to that.”

“Trip to New York? Sharing the Motorcade? You staying at Elizabeth’s or Elizabeth visiting your apartment? Always sharing meals? Also, the way you two would stand next to one another. Oh, and don’t get me started on special events.” He smiled when Nadine blushed and her eyes darted to the floor. Elizabeth however sat up taller.

“Sir, you knew. And you didn’t try to intervene?” Elizabeth leaned in as she spoke.

“No, because when I told my wife, she practically cheered. Bess, we know you, you are like family.” He paused as he uncrossed his legs and leaned in to match Elizabeth’s glare. “We were so happy to see you happy. Bess, romance was never a strong suit and a spring fling with Dr. McCord doesn’t count.” He looked at Nadine “we don’t know you as well, but we know that you are a kind and genuine. And…” He shrugged it was not often Dalton was speechless. 

“Conrad…” Elizabeth melted. He not only knew but he was rooting for them to be successful. 

“I know, a commander-in-chief who has a soft spot. Bess, Nadine, you have my blessing, I am on your side, and so is my wife. Just don’t tell Russell, he might explore with the possibility of you guys being happy.”

“Conrad the reason we are here is because we believe we may have been caught. We were walking to dinner and took a picture by the cherry blossoms… lip locked… and have reason to believe someone saw us.” Elizabeth pulled out her phone and showed the picture and zoomed into the background.

“Simple.” He said. “You guys are in love, if it surfaces, there is no way it can hurt you if you ride this out correctly. You kept your romantic life private, what is the harm in that?”

“We feared, backlash, bad press, feared it might hurt your support or… any number of things.” Nadine chimed in.

“I don’t think it will. But we will keep an eye on the situation. Is there anything else?”

With that they pair said their goodbyes and started to head to the motorcade. “If you would rather spend a few nights in your apartment until we know what is happening, I understand.” Elizabeth said as they climbed in the car. 

“It might not be a bad idea, not that I want to.” She reached for Elizabeth’s hand. They drove in silence. What even was there to say?

With Nadine at her apartment, Elizabeth stood in her bedroom. A set of Nadine’s pajamas sat neatly folded on her side of the bed. On average Nadine spent half the week at Thursday through Sunday night at Elizabeth, and the remaining at her own apartment. In an attempt to make thing seems normal to outsiders. But it was a Friday, and this whole situation derailed the weekend. Elizabeth opted to shower, think it would distract her, before boring herself to sleep with a new proposal she had to read. Standing in the steam, rubbing suds over her body, she found herself craving Nadine’s touch and kiss. With a sigh she stopped herself. It wouldn’t help her to not miss her… even if just for a night.

Nadine was beginning to feel more like a stranger in her own apartment. Sitting in her living room, the radio on just to produce noise so the darkness of the night not seeping through her windows and stay outside. It wasn’t that she an Elizabeth never spent nights apart, but something about this, not being allowed to… she felt like she was under lock and key. She and Elizabeth texted nonstop, until eventually, she broke down and called. “Hey, it's me. I just… really needed to hear your voice.” Nadine could hear Elizabeth smile through the phone as they talked each other to sleep.


	16. A Statement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a dicey situation of sharing a kiss in public, rumors start. And Elizabeth and Nadine work to shoot them down.
> 
> MORE TO COME WHEN FINALS END!

With the beeps of an alarm, Elizabeth shot out bed and reached for her computer, starting to search anything she could think of that would make the picture of her and Nadine pop up. To her relief there wasn’t anything yet. But figured she would try to get her old CIA friends a call, see if they could run a facial recognition of these mystery people. Her day was starting out of order. Saturday is usually spent lazy in bed with Nadine, but instead she felt the need to draft a press statement. 

In her PJ’s she walked downstairs to make coffee as she scrolled through Twitter hashtags, tried a reverse image search, and even clicked through the bowels of Google, never did she have a need to go to this fair back, 15th page seemed like a fair stopping point.

Knowing it was 7am, she still called Nadine, to make sure nothing had been published. Elizabeth leaned over her kitchen island drafting a statement on the back of a paper towel. The phone went to voicemail. That was unlike Nadine, her phone was always right near her even when she slept. Elizabeth cooled her anxious mind and sent Nadine a text to call when she could. Satisfied with the draft, she pulled her computer from under her arm and made her way to the couch with her coffee. 

Just as she sat down, it rang, it was Nadine. 

“Hey, sorry I missed you I was making tea and forgot my phone under my pillow, I am worried sick.” Elizabeth could hear the raspiness in Nadine’s voice, “But I haven’t seen anything pop up.” She cleared her throat as she tried to make it sounds like she had herself together.

“Nadine, are you alright” Elizabeth was concerned, she could hear the sadness in Nadine’s voice. “Have you been…”

Nadine was silent at the end of the line for what felt like an eternity until she sucked in an audible jagged breath. “I… I have thing sinking feeling that this is going to pull us apart. That we will need to end all this and you’ll lose everything. I’ll have to vanish and.” Nadine was spiraling as she talked. 

Elizabeth could tell she had not slept, she had been so anxious that her mind started to play dirty tricks on her. “Babe, please. You know this won’t pull anyone apart. We have support and if it comes to it I will fight for you the same way I know you would fight for me.”

“I would do anything for you, you know that.” Nadine answered softly. “Elizabeth, I love you.”

“And I love you, and that means we will make it through all this. Okay? I promise.” Elizabeth wished she could hug Nadine as she said it. 

“Okay.” Nadine knew Elizabeth meant every word, which should put her at ease but it was still not sitting right. 

“I also have been writing a statement if it becomes needed.” Elizabeth added “It follows exactly what we had talked to Conrad about. ‘Our love life is a private matter, that is not a hindrance on the work we do, I trust Ms. Tolliver with everything. We have proven time and time again to be a good team.”

“I second every statement on that, I will draft something just in case. Ugh, I just want to have our usually Saturday brunch. I don’t have a lot of food in this apartment.” She tried to laugh. 

“Then let’s meet for brunch or you sneak your way over here and I’ll make us brunch.” Elizabeth offered without missing a beat. “It’s raining… under the cover of umbrellas and an alias if needed? Like an undercover agent?”

“I will be there in an hour.” Nadine hurriedly hung up and raced to take a shower. 

Elizabeth smiled, put her phone on the counter and decided it was time to get dressed, coming back to the kitchen in jeans, fuzzy socks, and a t-shirt that said ‘Harvard Law’ with ‘Just kidding’ underneath. She pulled out the pancake mix and hunted for berries, or bananas, or… chocolate chips. Chocolate chips are always winners. 

She wanted mimosas… abandoning the batter and the eggs, she went to the basement in a hunt for champagne. She left her phone, which was blowing up with calls from Daisy. The image had surfaced.  
Daisy had tried Nadine, who was so busy rushing around her apartment that her phone vibrating in her purse was missed. Elizabeth returned to the pancakes and omelets. She cranked up her music, drowning out the ringing. 

The house phone rang, and Elizabeth practically hollered. “COME ON IN”

Nadine walked in, to music, mimosas, and pancakes, and was practically swept off her feet by Elizabeth with a smile. “You went all out on this!” She practically shouted. As Elizabeth pulled her in for a kiss. 

“I did, because why not. I wanted to do this anyway.” Elizabeth said as she returned to flip a pancake. “It would all be ready in about 5 minutes.” 

Nadine took a seat and pulled a mimosa as she admired the work of Elizabeth as she fluttered around the kitchen. Once the pancakes were done she turned off the music and took a seat. They ate, they drank, they laughed. Once it was all done, Elizabeth gathered their plates and brought them to the counter and stopped to check her phone.

“So, babe.” Elizabeth looked at Nadine and nodded her head for her come over. Nadine followed suit and leaned against the island and waited. “I apparently missed a bunch of calls from Daisy… listen to this. ‘America’s international sweetheart, also the sweetie of her Chief of Staff?’ or ‘Madam Sex-retary gives her chief of staff a new bedroom role’ or the boring one ‘Secretary of State Adams, seen sharing a kiss with her Chief of Staff.’ These are the top headlines.” Elizabeth put her phone down “So?”

Nadine sat on the kitchen island and stared down at her hands, then back at Elizabeth. “So? I am here, I am with you, and we will be fine. Just as you said.” Nadine reached for Elizabeth’s hand and pulled her in to her. 

“You are right, let’s take the US by storm.” Elizabeth kissed her, deepening each kiss as their tongues danced. Elizabeth could taste the mimosas and syrup with each kiss. “Always.”

“And forever.” Nadine said with a smile. “I’ll call Daisy, you call Dalton?” and with a nod Elizabeth reluctantly pulled herself away and called the White House. 

Elizabeth returned to see Nadine sitting in the living room, the news was on a low volume and Nadine was getting a recap on an awards show. “Dalton said, and I quote ‘Great, make a statement you are couple, and that has not and will not affect you work, and life goes on. This will blow over quickly with the gossip coming in from Korea.’ then he hung up.” Elizabeth sat next to Nadine.

“Daisy said the same thing, well about the statement, and will schedule a press release from us for Monday morning.” Nadine sat up “What to hear my statement?”’

“Sure, then I’ll share.” Elizabeth listened to Nadine give a quick 3-minute explanation. “Well, that is beautiful, mine is ‘SUCK IT’.” She held up finger guns like she was shooting away a criminal journalist. “Not, but actually I have a real one.”

Once they figured their statements, they cleaned up breakfast and decided to lay low for the day. 

“So, what shall we do for the rest of the day?” Nadine asked as out away the leftover fruit.

“I would love to go back to bed, with my book, and you.” Elizabeth pulled Nadine into her, kissed her, right where they had left off. Nadine felt a hand, cool from washing dishes, slide under her shirt.”

“It’s a good thing I left my own book here.” She giggled. “Although, I would not mind getting to watch more of Parks and Rec.” And with that, Nadine raced after Elizabeth. Thankful to have the Saturday she wanted.

Monday morning, at 8:00. Nadine and Elizabeth waited for their cue to come in and make their statements. 

Elizabeth was first to take the podium. “Good Morning, thank you for coming out this Monday morning. In light of a recent photo that has been caught in the loop of news and the media. It is correct, my Chief of Staff, Nadine Tolliver, and I have been in a loving romantic relationship for almost 3 years. It has not impacted the work we do at the State Department, nor will it ever. Our personal relationship will continue to be our own and private. Diplomacy has no room for personal matters, and it is the mission of the State Department and each of use to ensure its success both at home and across the globe. ” Elizabeth waved as Nadine stepped up.

“Thank you, Madam Secretary, I echo your statement. I want to highlight and agree that our private relationship will continue to remain as such. We make a great team, and have goals for the State Department that stretch much wider than just the U.S. Are there any questions?” Nadine made her statement brief, she wanted to get through the questions sparing Elizabeth who would have to leave for a briefing. 

“I do not have a question.” A young reported stood. “I salute your efforts, as a member of the LGBT community. I think it is terrific that you too found each other, a rock to keep you holding steady in a job that we all know, because we report on it, can be hard. How did it start?”

“Well, that ended in a question.” Nadine laughed, she felt so oddly comfortable with the situation. “It started organically.” Nadine smiled and looked from the reporter to Elizabeth. “She became my best friend, and feelings grew.” The world didn’t need to know that the Mike B. assault, and the tears shed that lead to a world changing kiss.

The reporter sat down an older reporter took the stand. “I think this is a disgrace on religious grounds and I do not what you running my government.”

“Explain.” Elizabeth leaned over the podium and stared him down. “Explain to me. With evidence.” Nadine took a step back, this was the Elizabeth who broke terrorists and got confessions as CIA, the Elizabeth who overpowered world leaders to piles of dust, the Elizabeth who would defend to the death.

“I mean I feel uncomfortable with queers running my State Department.” The old man barely budged.

“Sir, I asked you for evidence. This announcement is not related to sexual orientation. It is about the fact that we work together, as the Secretary of State and Chief of Staff. It was to shut down rumors so we can continue on the work we do and to continue the great progress being made. This is not your, State Department, it is mine under the appointment of President Dalton.”

“See, Madam Secretary, you get angry easily, why can’t the homosexuals keep their romantic life private?” he folded his arms like he had just won an argument.

“Because I have little patience for the ill-informed. I have no issue keeping my love live private. You, as a journalist, seem to make it your mission that no one in any position of importance has a stone unturned when trying to find a story to sell. With headlines circling, we thought it best to squash rumors with the truth. Now, I am still waiting for you to tell me why you are against this ‘based on religious grounds’.” The man was silent as he was trying to find his rebuttal but Elizabeth jumped in. “As a Catholic, I attend church every Sunday I can, and have Nadine and I have attended mass with the Pope on a mission to Italy. He shook our hands.” The man looked mortified. “Keep your romantic life private, and we keep ours. We all have jobs to do.” The room stayed silent as the man sat down. 

Nadine walked back to the podium “And with that, we have a brief to give. Have a good day everyone.” the room applauded. Nadine turned only to find that Elizabeth had already gone. She almost ran out the door after, leaving Daisy tell the reporters to leave. “Eliz… Ma’am?” Nadine said as she around a corner and saw Elizabeth pressed against it. Her cheeks were red, and she looked like she was on the verge of tears. “Elizabeth?” Nadine asked quietly as she approach, in just saying her name she was asking every question had.

Elizabeth hugged Nadine and sobbed, that man had gotten under her skin. She defended, she fought, and she won. But it gutted her. She had dealt with the worst of society but that moment, a moment where life, was being openly mocked. “I’m sorry.” She whispered against Nadine’s hair. “He got under my skin, I know better.”

“Hey, hey, look at me, please, babe.” Nadine held Elizabeth face and wiped away her tears. “You were amazing. Please… hear me. They applauded you. I applaud you. I love you.” Elizabeth wrapped herself around Nadine and held her in close. They stood there quietly, Nadine holding a sniffling Elizabeth as they gently swayed.

Daisy walked around and saw them “You guys won, those reporters are not only your biggest fans and supporters, they are chewing out that cranky old man. I am…” She stopped and the smile was off her face when she locked eyes with Nadine. “I am late for a meeting, talk soon.” and she left.

“I have to get to that brief.” Elizabeth put her shoulders back and took a deep breath. 

“Not looking like this.” Nadine straightened Elizabeth blazer and adjusted her necklace. “You should be the gorgeous, brilliant Secretary you are. Now you can go, save the world.”

Elizabeth reached for the charm on Nadine’s necklace and centered it. “Even after all this you still look put together and beautiful.” 

“More of that later. Go!” Nadine laughed as Elizabeth quickly scanned the hall and kissed her. Nadine watched her walk away, her walk becoming more confident with each step as she made her way to the elevator. “I love that woman so much.” Nadine touched the heart charm as she made her way to other side of the building.


	17. Do I have your permission?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth finally solidifies a thought that has been circulating her brain about Nadine, and about forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hurried to get this out before finals start!   
> I hope you like it!   
> Please like/kudos and review!   
> Also... I can't believe this story is still going!

Nadine was leading regarding a new NOAA/NASA proposal seeking a partnered program with the European Space Agency for a new line of climate modeling satellites. This proposal has a way to equip satellites with both high spatial and temporal resolutions sensors for better modeling and almost real time tracking. But with such cutting-edge technology, the State Department was asked to moderate the work and progress to ensure it was neat, clean, and no one stole it. Renderings and graphs and other models, which meant nothing to her outside of the brief description Goddard and NESDIS offered, littered the table as she spoke to her team. 

The figures were catchy, and colorful. Usually everyone wanted to be on a project team that had NOAA and NASA involved because it was a breath of fresh air then the struggles of diplomacy, treaties, and wars. Science had a way of bringing countries together, even though competitively. Sometimes something as simple as team work on a satellite lead to future partnerships and projects for scientists, but also helped build allies, and progression of democracy.

Elizabeth leaned against the door frame that connected her office to the conference room. She wanted to be in it, but was also expecting a call from President Dalton regarding a peace treaty that was in the works. There was never a dull moment on the 7th floor. But she was curious about the proposal and intended to listen to as much as she could before she left. And being on the side meant she would hear her phone ring and not make a huge fuss. Usually, she would be in the meeting and Blake would screen for calls, but he was too excited for this so she left him just attend the meeting in full. 

Elizabeth watched Nadine, the dedication, and passion in her voice. The way she made a point to make eye contact with each person in the room as she spoke. The way she bounced around the room as she pointed to the different figures and images. Nadine’s voice was smooth, and easy to listen to. Before Elizabeth realized it, she wasn’t even paying attention to the proposal and just watching in the woman leading the room. 

Her phone started to ring, but she didn’t hear it. All she could hear were her own thoughts. One of which thinking eagerly about slowly peeling the dress off that hugged Nadine’s hips, another just being thankful for being hers. The phone kept ringing and she snapped back into the present and darted into her office. 

“Secretary Adams.” She said sharply into the phone.

“Bess? It's Conrad, I wanted to bring the news to you directly from Air Force 1. We have a deal.” Delighted, Elizabeth pulled out her notepad and started taking notes and grilling Conrad. As she was writing, her pen died, with her phone tucked between her ear and her shoulder she rummaged through her drawers. She stopped in her tracks when she saw a little envelope with her name written on it. She pulled it out and flipped it around in her fingers curious about it. The handwriting was clearly Nadine’s. “Bess?”

“Yes, Conrad, I am here, my pen died I just needed to find a new one.” Taking the first pen she could grab which was actually a pencil and kept scribbling along until the conversation ended. Quickly putting her notebook aside, she picked up the envelope and opened it. Inside was simple blank 8x11 page. Written on it said ‘I don’t know when you will read this, just a note to say I love you, always.’ signed with a simple heart. The date on the bottom indicated that Nadine had stuck this in her desk almost 8 months ago.

Elizabeth broke into a smile. She loved Nadine, “Oh Nadine, I wish you were my wife.” She froze, hoping no one heard her. She thought about the sentence she had just said. She looked at the note again. “I am going to ask her to marry.” Elizabeth said with confidence this time. This was something that had only ever been a passing thought was now something permanent. She was going to ask Nadine to marry her. She felt her heart race as she put the letter back in its envelope and put it in her briefcase. Barely able to focus on the treaty before her, she pulled out her notebook again and started to map out the perfect proposal.

It would be vital that this remains private, or at least within the circle of people. They had an issue with a photo of them, Elizabeth taking the time to smooch Nadine in front of the blooming cherry trees. In a press conference, they both had made a statement stating their relationship never hindered their work nor would it ever. Which, of course, lead to some grumpy old reporter spewing hate against them. Elizabeth, leaned into him, and destroyed him. They walked out of the room to cheers and support, and the stories circulating the media were nothing but delightful. A few conspiracy articles but, Daisy was able to get them pulled. Before she knew it, she was scrolling through Zales and other jewelry stores. 

She wanted to talk to her staff about this. So, she would call for a conference call tomorrow morning. But needed to find a way to convince Nadine she needed to take the day off or at least not come into the office. Putting herself back to her actual work. Nadine popped in.

“Ma’am?” Nadine’s voice questioned from the open door. Elizabeth gestured her in with a smile. “I need to go to Silver Springs, Maryland tomorrow.”

“What’s in Silver Springs?” Elizabeth asked.

“NESDIS is, the Deputy Director wants to hold a meeting with the State Department. I have no idea about what. But, that is where I will be if I am not needed here.” Nadine had opened her binder and was looking at her calendar and planner for the next day. So, she didn’t see Elizabeth light up.

“You should go, I have the crew working on writing the treaty for Dalton. It will be the most boring day anyways. Oh, and as much as Blake might try to convince you, he has no reason to go.” Elizabeth said with a sarcastic smile.

“I sometimes wonder if he should have gone to school to be a geoscientist rather than accountant.” Nadine smiled as she stepped forward and sank into one of the comfy chairs in front of Elizabeth desk. “I honestly would be happy to get out of the office for a little bit.”

“And why is that?” Elizabeth circled her desk so she could lean against the front of it. 

“The weather is getting nicer, and I like the idea of going on a little adventure. I get to go to a different state, do something different, and be outside for a little bit of sunshine. Can’t go wrong with that.” Nadine out her head back. “I am also exhausted.”

“You have had a few rough nights.” Elizabeth answered quietly. The nights she and Nadine shared a bed, she knew Nadine was having a hard time sleeping laying away for hours, and even when she did sleep it was never a deep sleep. The birds starting to sing around 4:30 in the morning would be enough to wake her. It was apparently the same when she was in her own bed. 

“I wish I knew why I couldn’t sleep. I love sleep. But my brain just won’t let me relax.” She pulled her body back so it was sitting up right. “But you do.” She reached out for Elizabeth’s hands. 

“Whenever you want to, oh, I don’t know, not be Wonder Woman. You might be able to sleep again.” Elizabeth laced her fingers into Nadine’s and pulled her out of the chair and to her. Seamlessly, Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Nadine and kissed her. Nadine leaned against her and slid her hands into Elizabeth’s hair. 

“What is this all about?” Nadine pulled away just long enough to ask. 

“I happened to find a note you left in my desk months ago. And I just… I don’t know, does it matter?” Elizabeth dipped down to kiss her again. Nadine giggled as she returned the kiss. Lip locked and handsy, the missed the knocks and Blake walking in and walking back out. “I should let you go, because if I don’t…”

“If you don’t what?” Nadine whispered against her neck as her fingers started to trace the buttons on the front of her blouse. 

“Nadine.” Elizabeth whispered, practically pleading.

“Something to think about until later.” Nadine said as she peeled herself away. 

“You’ll pay for that later.” Elizabeth said as she phone started to ring. “Consider that a promise.”

“Don’t make a promise you can’t keep.” Nadine said as she gathered her binder from the floor. “I will see you later tonight?” She asked before she left.

“I would hope so, I have two steaks thawing in my fridge.” Elizabeth said with a smile. “See you in a bit.” And with that. Elizabeth answered her phone “Sec… Blake? Oh… yes, send him in.” Oops, she forgot she had a someone from the Pentagon. 

\--  
Elizabeth sent an email out to all important people stating they were needed for an impromptu meeting. But left the reasons behind the meeting vague. Nadine was successfully in route to Silvers Springs which was only about 40 minutes outside of DC, without any traffic. 

At 9:45 the staff was in the conference room waiting for Elizabeth. Who bounded into the room with a spring in her step. “Good Morning guys!” She said cheerily.

There was a mumbled good morning in reply and then Blake pipped in. “Ma’am, what is the purpose of this meeting I needed it for my…” 

“Right, but Blake, this is off the records. I need your honest opinion.” Elizabeth paused in front of the chair she usually sat in. Next to her would usually be Nadine. Her sweet Nadine. She turned and looked around at the staff. “I want to ask Nadine…” she stopped and took a breath, this would be the first time she said it out loud to anyone. “I want to ask Nadine… to marry me.” The room was quiet, if a pin was dropped in the next town it would be heard. “I can’t explain it. I just, I just have never been this in love with another person. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want her to be my forever.” Elizabeth bowed her head, waiting for a response. “Do I have your permission?” 

Blake sprung from his seat and hugged Elizabeth making her jump. “100%, yes.” and the others chimed in. “You guys are like my Moms, so yeah. It’s perfect.” Elizabeth laughed as she returned Blake’s embrace. “Do you want help with the engagement? I am a great planner and I…”  
“I appreciate it, I am not even sure how I am going to do it yet. I don’t even have a ring. I have been looking.” She looked Blake squarely in the eyes. “Thank you.”

By the time she turned around the rest of the staff. They were all standing by her with open arms. “Not that it matters what we think, because you are an adult, and our boss, but we support it.” Matt said with a goofy grin. 

“Ma’am, why did you ask us?” Daisy questioned.

“You guys are the closest thing we have to family… so I had to. It was only customary. You guys could have said ‘no and I would have rebelled and did it anyway.” She smiled as looked over at Nadine’s empty chair. “So… That was all. I just wanted to tell you and I honestly can’t seem to figure out how to say important things not in a meeting so. Yeah.” She clapped her hands, just as easily as she walked in she walked out. 

The staff was left sitting in their sets, assuming the meeting was now ended. “Matt, tell me what you think honestly.”

“I already told you, you look stunning this morning.” Matt said without even looking up from the danish he was reaching for.

“No, No, about the Secretary and Nadine.” Daisy reiterated annoyed.

“Oh… I don’t know. I mean, you and I see them and I wish I could have someone look at me the way the Secretary looks at Nadine. I also wish I had someone to support and hold me the way Nadine does with the Secretary. They make such a great team, I am almost envious.” Matt paused. “I don’t want you to think it’s because both… you know… It’s just that they are both in power positions. What happens when Elizabeth isn’t Secretary anymore? Or one wants to retire from public service? Or the Secretary makes a run for President? Mostly, I am afraid to see what happens when they are no longer Chief of Staff and Secretary of State. But when you love someone, it shouldn’t matter, I suppose…” He looked at Daisy through those sweet said puppy dog eyes. “Well, I should get back to work.” and he left the room.

Daisy watched him go. Feeling her own misgivings were her own. She wanted to talk to the Secretary only to see that Elizabeth took an early leave, she wanted to go around D.C. she had some shopping to do. 

Elizabeth was staring at a wide array of perfect rings, and stones all polished and gleaming under the lights of their cases. 

“How can I help you Ms.?” A young man behind the counter asked. 

“Uh, yes. I am looking for a ring.” Elizabeth said as her eyes admired a blue stone, then wandered to a red one.

“Of course, what is the occasion?” He pulled out a binder from behind the counter. 

“Engagement, a little late in life but I have finally found the her.” Elizabeth said a little to giddy. 

“I have a list of questions to ensure we have the right ring for you two. First, where did you meet and how long have you been together?” He asked as he started flipping through the pages to get to the engagement rings. 

“She is my Chief of Staff, we have been together for just over three years. And have work together for about two years before anything really started. She is my best friend and it just kind of evolved.”

“That is so sweet. Does she have a favorite color?” the jeweler sounded genuine as he spoke, he was clearly on a mission. 

“Blue, but also is fond of purple and red.” Elizabeth said she was distracted by a glittering ruby. 

“We can do a setting so you have 3 stones for the 3 years or a single stone, most common. Thoughts on diamonds?”

“Could be?” Elizabeth was suddenly very overwhelmed. “Something sweet, and classic? Or…” she shrugged.

“Why don’t I let you look around, it can all be overwhelming. I will be here with questions and I will compile a list of potential rings for you?”

Elizabeth nodded. As she walked around the store for what felt like hours. Even if it was only a few moments. She admired every stone and every gem, some set on a band, some propped up on fabric so they could be customized to a band, the colors of each as it shined bright. She stopped when she saw a deep blue Sapphire. “That one.” was all she could say. A deep blue, almost navy, seemed to shine a little brighter than the rest. It was quiet and subtle but in the right light, it was loud and proud.

“Brilliant! I have a variety of bands we can set it to. Come to this case.” The young man pulled the sapphire as they walked to a case with the bands. “I would best recommend a 6-prong setting for how it is cut, if you set it in a white gold or a platinum, the deep blue will really show. Our selection is over here.” Elizabeth and the jeweler looked at a bunch of different bands until Elizabeth saw the perfect platinum band. It was simple braided metal. “We can attach the setting and you will have your perfect ring by tomorrow evening.”

“Can it be any sooner? No rush, I just am really excited.” She looked at the jeweler wide eyes. 

“I can do my best Ms. I am sure she will love it.” he paused. “Ms. you look familiar, do I know you from somewhere?”

“You may have seen me on T.V.?” Was Elizabeth’s only answer. Didn’t want to totally blow her cover.

The jeweler paused. “You are the hot NEWS anchor my roommate loves.” He said with a nod, “If you get any fan mail from Wilber H. I am sorry.” 

Elizabeth just rolled her eyes and nodded. Not wanting to feed this story any further.

Once home, Nadine texted to see if she could stop by. But it was missed by Elizabeth who was scrolling through their calendars seeing where there was going to be anytime to sneak away for a weekend, ideally back to New York City. Her house line rang to say Nadine was there. 

“Oh! Come in, Come in.” She quickly said into the phone.

Nadine burst through the door with an armful of stuff from her excursion to NESDIS. Posters, folders, flyers, and even a hat that had GOES-S on it. “I learned so much about satellites today.” She beamed as she dropped the stuff on the kitchen island. “I also realize I am bad at math.” Nadine jumped into an explanation on the new unnamed satellite, what it will do and how it will work, the history on how their goofy names actually stand for something like, GOES is a Geostationary Operational Environmental Satellite, or how MODIS a NASA satellite actually stands for Moderate Resolution Imaging Spectroradiometer. She also gushed over Silver Springs being so green this time of year. 

“It seems like you had a productive day?” Elizabeth asked as she returned to her stool and her laptop at the kitchen island.

“I did! So much so that I am switching departments to Commerce, besides I hear they have a cute Secretary.” She took her hat off and walked over to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth briefly felt her life flash before her eyes. “Please be kidding.” she said as she looked at Nadine with wide eyes. 

“Oh please, there is only one Secretary, rather one woman, who is perfect for me. And that is you.” Nadine wrapped her arms around Elizabeth and held her tight. “Why… is my calendar on your computer?”

“Well I guess the secret is out. I wanted to go on another trip and I wanted to surprise you with it.” Nadine turned her head to look at Elizabeth and smiled. “But I guess it's a good thing the secret is out because we are busy and I am not sure where we should go. I was thinking New York again, for selfish reason of wanting to see, Chicago or Wicked and meet more of your friends.” She said with a sigh as she took her glasses off and shifted on the stool to face Nadine.

Nadine was touched by the thought. “It would be interesting to see Chicago as a spectator rather than on the stage. I could call Javier… I am sure he would be thrilled. He really wanted his husband to meet you. Listening to you speak inspired him to start running for local office.”

“But when?” Elizabeth was swiping through both their calendars getting flustered. She was trying to hold together the real meaning for the trip. As a proposal. To Elizabeth, to be in a setting with people who were essentially Nadine’s family growing up it made it all the more powerful, and exciting. 

Nadine rested her chin on Elizabeth’s shoulder. “two weekends from this coming weekend? I think there is a Federal holiday and barring any national emergency? We should be okay.”

She was right, it the weekend was free right there. Elizabeth was looking into next month but didn’t even consider this one. “Then it’s a date, I’ll…”

“Although, I would be just as happy spending a lazy weekend on your farm.” Nadine cut in as peeled herself off Elizabeth “With the weather so nice, I wouldn’t mind escaping the city for a bit. And yes, this has everything to do with the fact that I just spend the day in Silver Springs.”

Elizabeth thought it over, but only briefly. As much as she wanted everything set to be perfect, her farm would also work and had the added bonus of privacy. “Then farm it is, don’t forget to bring your gear, we will go for a ride or two. 

Nadine pulled out a bottle of wine, “Then it’s a date.”


	18. Will you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do you hide the fact you have an engagement ring? Can you maintain composure or will you cave, and ask blowing your plans.

Elizabeth received a phone call around 11:30 two days later from a number she didn’t recognized and let it go voicemail. Until she realized that it was actually the jeweler. She scrambled to listen to it and practically bolted out of the 7th floor without telling any of the staff where she was going.

“Blake? Where did the Secretary go?” Nadine said as she stood next to him. 

“I honestly wish I knew. I have nothing on her calendar that requires her to leave, unless the White House called. I just hope we are not in trouble.” Blake pulled out a portfolio and saw that the next thing Elizabeth had in her schedule wasn’t until 2, and it was a meeting within the department. 

Nadine’s face started to twist as she became lost in her thoughts. “I am going to see if I can get a hold of her.” She returned to her office leaving Black at his desk, confused. The it hit him; the Secretary had mentioned in passing that she was supposed to get a call about the ring today. That made sense, she was so excited to get the ring that she probably didn’t even think twice before darting out. That was definitely something he couldn't tell Nadine.

Nadine tried to call Elizabeth’s cellphone, but it went to voicemail… strange. 

Elizabeth bolted to the jewelry store, secretly thankful there was a different jeweler then when she was first there. “Hello, how can I help you this fine afternoon?” A cheery woman said from behind the counter.

“Hi, I am here to pick up a ring. Under the name Bess.” Elizabeth walked to the counter and started to fish her wallet out of her purse. 

“Ah, yes, I was told to expect you. Although I do not think you are the person the kid before me described.” The woman reached behind the counter and pulled out small box with Bess written on the sticky note.

“You are Elizabeth Adams, Secretary of State, not some wired news anchor.” The jeweler didn’t even look up from collecting all of Elizabeth’s things. “And it’s an honor to meet you.” Elizabeth felt her face flush as the woman spoke. “I relocated to be with my fiancé a few months ago, he is a ranger at Antietam. I am waiting for my Postdoc with NASA Goddard to start in the fall. So, I am working here part time until then. I have been following all the reports on the new satellite your department is involved with!” Elizabeth reminded quiet. “Oh, enough about me, I am sorry, I am just a huge fan of badass women doing amazing things. Let’s see your ring!” and she handed over the box.

Elizabeth slowly lifted the lid, like it was a bomb that was going to go off. Only to be amazing with the brilliant blue that gleamed back. “It’s perfect” She breathed.

“Oh goody!” The jeweler clapped.

Elizabeth closed it and handed over her card. “It’s nice to meet you, by the way.” Elizabeth added “I can put in a good word for you to see if my department as an opening for you on the new satellite mission if you don’t mind sending me your resume and other information?” The jeweler handed back Elizabeth card but couldn’t speak. Elizabeth scribbled Blake’s email address on the back of a store business card. “Email him your stuff, I will be waiting.”

“B... Bye. And thank you!” The woman was finally knocked out of her trance. But Elizabeth was already back in her motorcade.

She called Nadine back immediately. “Hey! Sorry I bolted. I got a call from my barn manager about one of my horses colicky, my reaction is still to run to them… even though I am in DC. No, no, it was a false alarm, and everything is fine. I didn’t even make it out of the city, I am on my way back.” Elizabeth paused as she listened to Nadine “I love you too babe.” and hung up the phone. Elizabeth signed as made her trek back to the State Department. She pulled the box out and admired the ring again, afraid to touch it. She could barely contain her excitement. 

\---

The doors of the elevator opened, and Nadine was there to greet her. “All okay?” She asked as Elizabeth stepped out of the elevator. She was studying Elizabeth’s every move. It was not like her to bolt like that, anything dealing with her horses meant she would run to the barn no matter how small the issue may be.

“Yes, we recently got new horse from my trainer, a little grey mare named Winnie, and Virginia is a big difference from her barn in the south, we have grass.” Elizabeth laughed as she walked back to her office. Trying to keep cool about the fact that was blatantly lying, and she actually had an engagement ring. Thinking she was playing it normal while she was actually avoiding eye contact and was overall awkward like a kid at their first school dance.

“Well, good.” Nadine followed her to her office. Nadine was nervous about this poor acting. Elizabeth was hiding something big. Nadine wasn’t sure she wanted to find out what it was. “I have a packet for you for our meeting in an hour.” She handed over the folder, which Elizabeth didn’t seem to notice was hovering in front of her as she took her coat off.

“Oh god.” Elizabeth reached for it. “I forgot, let me cram?” She pulled Nadine in and kissed her, a little more aggressively than she usually would at work. But, right now, she didn’t care, she was just too excited. Nadine was not one to protest, she leaned into the kiss and felt her cheeks flush at the sudden realization they were at work. “Hey, now.” She said with a smile. “What's the deal?”

“Oh, nothing, just the fact that I have the best woman in the world, and I am just…” She paused trying to find the words without saying engagement. “In a really good mood.” Elizabeth uncoiled her arms and picked the packet back up. 

“The pleasure is mine; I will let you cram before… well…” Nadine cheeks were still a brilliant red as her eyes darted to the floor. 

“I will be here for the rest of the day after this meeting.” Was all Elizabeth said as she returned to her desk and heard Nadine’s hurried feet walk away. Elizabeth stared at the binder, flipping through pages but not retaining the information, she would just have to go off memory and open in to the floor early.

Meeting came and went, and Elizabeth was pacing her office, not because of the meeting, it was Friday. But there was some work that still had to be done in the department over the weekend and all she could think about was how hard it was to maintain normalcy when she wanted to tell Nadine the truth. She held the box in her hand as she walked.

“Ma’am?” it was Blake.

“Come in.” She said she stopped her pace and walked back behind her desk, putting the ring in a drawer. 

“I have a message from Russell regarding this weekend.” He said as he dropped off a notice to her and started to walk away. “Looks like the weekend will be a little lighter for us.”

Elizabeth ignored it “Wait, come behind my desk for a second.” Blake did as he was told. “Look.” Elizabeth open the draw and pulled out the square box and opened it. The sapphire was practically glowing as the fluorescent office light hit it.

“Oh my God.” Was all Blake could say. “It’s perfect.” He looked at Elizabeth “So when are you going to ask?”

“I wanted to do it the next time Nadine and I escaped to the farm which would be in a next weekend but… I am not sure I can wait that long.” Elizabeth closed it and put it back in her desk. And reached for the notice from Russell regarding the use of White House staff rather than the State Department like discussed. 

“You will know when it's the right time.” Blake patted her shoulder and left her office. “Sometimes all the planning in the world isn’t what a perfect moment needs.” He said over his shoulder as he walked away.

Elizabeth took the box back out of the draw, she felt better holding it, that way she knew it would be safe. Rolling it in her fingers as she scrolled through information on her computer. Not that she retained a single line of it. She was lost thinking about that ring. And all that it meant to her. And how clear it was becoming that she wasn’t going to be able to wait. She stood and walked to a window by her desk.

Nadine had popped in; it was the end of the day and the staff was clearing out. She figured she would either turn in early or sit on Elizabeth couch and tease her until she left. Both were good options. “Hey, you.”

Elizabeth froze. “Uh, hi.” she gripped the box and cannot bring herself to turn around. “What’s up?” her voice was shaky as she continued to hold a blank stare out the window. Her head was spinning, she was trying to be normal, but her seemed to shut down.

“Not much, just figured I would stop in and say hello.” Nadine squinted at Elizabeth as she spoke. “You did leave an open invitation.” She studied Elizabeth’s rigid figure as she sat down in a chair in front of the desk. The silence that hung in the air started to feel heavy on Elizabeth, but for the life of her she could not bring herself to speak. Nadine’s voice dropped like a stone in a smooth pool of water “So… let’s cut to the chase. What the heck is going in?” Her voice went from tentative to disappointed. “Elizabeth, I know nothing happened at your farm.” she said shortly. “You would never be so mellow about something like that. Even with false alarms I know how serious you take them. What are you keeping from me?” She sounded like she was pleading for an answer.

“I…” Was all Elizabeth could say as her heart pounded in her chest. “I… well.”

“Well what!?” Nadine stood up. “Elizabeth, look at me, for that love of God. What is wrong?” Elizabeth turned like a child who had failed a math test. “Is there… someone else?” The quiet voice that said that sliced Elizabeth in half. 

“No.” She answered flatly. “You” Elizabeth forced her brain to let her speak. “You are the reason I darted out; you are the reason I needed to come up with a story.” her voice turned desperate as she spoke.

Nadine cut her off. “Why, Elizabeth, what is happening? Are you bored of me? Did I do something wrong?” Nadine’s face was getting red as she grew more and more upset. 

“No, Nadine, it’s because you do everything right. And I don’t mean that sarcastically. Nadine. This is not how I wanted this to happen. But I can’t wait anymore.” She shoved her hands in her pockets as she walked over to Nadine. Leaving the box in one. “Follow me.”

She took Nadine’s hand and gave her a tug as she walked back to the window. “Elizabeth, you have 30 seconds to start explaining yourself before I walk out that door.” Nadine said sharply. 

They walked to the sunny spot shining through the window. “Nadine.” Elizabeth took a slow breath. “Nadine, when I first started as Secretary, I knew you were cautious, and unsure I would be a good fit for the roll, and I didn’t blame you, I feared I was going to let this country and Dalton down. I knew filling the former Secretary’ shoes and gaining the trust of the staff was going to be a challenge. Those challenges did nothing more than drive me forward, I saw there was room to do so much good for this country and even the world. I saw an amazing group of people who would fight tirelessly for what they knew is right. I saw you.” Elizabeth squeezed Nadine’s hands.

“We started to become friends. I was so buried in work, that I didn’t often let people in. But somehow, you did. You would stay late, and we would talk, not about the world we were taping back together but about life, travel, art, music, booze, even gossip a little. You became my friend, and I started looking for excuses to stay late. Those Wednesday evening chats on that couch became a drug. The more I learned about you, the more you amazed me.” Nadine face was turning a deep shade of red, not sure what was happening. But her eyes were locked onto Elizabeth’s desperately love stuck eyes as she spoke. “When I tested the waters to see if there was a chance. You left my head spinning.” Elizabeth cracked into a small smile. “Then, in one night when you thought you lost it all because of a drunk idiot; I knew I had to pull out of that mess. I was determined to put all your pieces back together. Because I saw the most wonderful woman, someone who I couldn’t lose, someone I desperately wanted to hold and protect and shower with love.

We have traveled, we have explored, we have done so many wonderful things. We have had our fights; we have had our heartaches. We have worked through it all. I… I get butterflies when you come into my office. Or I when see you dance around the kitchen when we cook. Or when I get to wake up in bed next to you.” Elizabeth laughed at the admission. “When I see you fight for what you believe in, I fall for you even more. I want to travel more, I want to explore, I want to solve the worlds hardest problems and do it with you. Nadine, I want to be with you forever. The reason I darted out, the reason to me being ‘off’ is because… I love you.” Elizabeth lingered, figuring out the next move. 

“Elizabeth?” Nadine questioned she was slowly piecing together what was happening and she felt her heart pounding with excitement.

Elizabeth let go of Nadine’s hands and reached into her pocket. “Nadine Tolliver.” She said her name with purpose as she lowered herself down on her knee. Nadine eyes went wide as she sucked in a quick breath ‘oh my God’ she whispered as a hand went over her heart. “Will you marry me?” Elizabeth said it as she opened the box, revealing the ring. She never felt more nervous in her life then she did when she asked that question.


	19. Butterflies all around.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Probably know need to explain!

The world stopped spinning, all noises hushed, the seconds stretched in length, as time stopped. The sapphire set on its band seemed to sit just as it needed to, showing off its perfect cut and color. It was Nadine’s turn to be speechless. Elizabeth had put everything in the open. Exposed, vulnerable, and willing as she knelt before Nadine and asked the simplest question in the world. 

Nadine desperately tried to maintain that well put together composure she was known for but was struggling as words seemed to spill out of her mouth faster than her brain could process them. Her hands squeezed together over her heart as she spoke, or rather, yelled. “YES! Oh Elizabeth.” She felt herself starting to tear up as she reached for Elizabeth. “Elizabeth Adams, I will marry you, I will be your wife.” She said between delighted sobs. She didn’t even give Elizabeth time to take the ring out of the box before she pulled her up and kissed her. “I want to be your forever.”

In one swift motion Elizabeth was up and lip locked with Nadine. “Nadine,” she felt her own tears of joy starting. “Always.” was all she could say as she slid the ring onto Nadine’s finger. “I promise.” Elizabeth wiped way the runaway tears as she held Nadine close.

Looking down at her ring, Nadine was a puddle. “We are engaged!” She whispered as she looked back at Elizabeth. “You are my fiancée!” Nadine giggled. She could honestly say there was never a time in her life that she felt happier, more complete, or safe. 

“You amaze me, Nadine. I wanted to wait, I wanted to make a big event out of it but… I couldn’t.” Elizabeth held up Nadine’s hand to admire the ring “It looks stunning on you.

“You are incredible Elizabeth, truly.” She paused and looked playfully at Elizabeth. “You are going to be my wife. My wife!” She bounced in placed, “let’s celebrate. I’ll get my stuff.”

Elizabeth didn’t let go of her hand, “let me walk with you.” 

Grabbing her bag and jacket she walked with Nadine to her office. “Pardon this.” Nadine said quickly as she pulled Elizabeth through the door and locking it. And quickly dropping the blinds. She couldn’t remember if others were in the office. They had been walking so quickly, or so she thought anyway. 

“Nadine, what…” but Elizabeth never got to finish her sentence. Nadine’s mouth flew over hers. Pushing her against the locked door of her office. Covering Elizabeth with kisses, as she pulled her by the collar off her shirt. “Or that.”

“You aren’t the only one who couldn’t wait.” Nadine purred. “I just can’t seem to get enough of my incredible fiancée, right now, and I honestly don’t care who knows it.” 

Elizabeth let out a low chuckle as she brought her hand to Nadine’s neck, tilting her head up and kissed her. Her hand travelled up to Nadine’s hair, while the other travelled to trace the line of her belt. Nadine wasted no time untucking and unbuttoning Elizabeth’s blouse. Elizabeth took the hint, her free hand fumbled with the belt and button of Nadine’s pants, which easily fell to the floor. Nadine pulled her shirt over her head and kicked off her flats. Elizabeth shed her trousers and heels. She pushed Nadine so she was against her desk. With one leg, she nudged Nadine’s to spread. She continued to kiss Nadine as one hand gripped her rear and the other traveled down to her undergarments and slid her hand in. She found that sweet bundle of nerves and Nadine pressed against Elizabeth. Elizabeth’s fingers made quick work and darted in and out of Nadine, making her squirm and moan. Elizabeth gave Nadine a push, so she was sitting on her desk knocking things off in the process. Elizabeth couldn’t resist, she wanted to taste Nadine she pulled her undergarments off. To be honest, she wanted to make her be a little loud. It was not long before Nadine nearly collapsed across her desk, legs spread wide with Elizabeth’s talented tongue and fingers making her eyes roll. The moans she tried to hide were still audible. She came hard and felt like she was practically glowing. 

“Babe.” she whispered hastily. She sat up, and just knew there was a puddle of her on her desk and she didn’t care. She pulled Elizabeth in and buried her face between her breasts. Pulling down a cup and eagerly taking a nipple making Elizabeth moan. Nadine’s hand traced down her spine to her rear and gave it a squeeze. Sliding her panties to the floor, with a swift motion her fingers were inside Elizabeth. Pushing into her over and over as her thumb made gentle circles around her clit. Nadine’s kissed turned to nibbles. Making Elizabeth mutter a string of expletives before her walls tightened around Nadine’s fingers. Elizabeth braced herself over Nadine, kissing her over and over as she was coming off her high.

“That was unexpected” she whispered as she played with Nadine’s hair. “We have never done it at work.”

“I… I… I don’t know what came over me… I just, needed you. All of you.” She adjusted her bra and looked around her office at the scattering of clothes and the mess that was made of her desk. 

“Well, you will have all of me, forever.” Elizabeth laughed as she kissed her again. “Let’s get dressed. I want to keep celebrating.” Once dressed, they put themselves back together. And gathered their things so they could leave, this time for real. “So, do you like the ring?” Elizabeth asked with a smile.

“I really do.” Nadine said as she unlocked the door. She scanned the room, empty. “I will be honest; I didn’t think to check to see if anyone was still here”

“The coast was clear, I checked… I knew the staff would be curious, I asked their permission, in a sense because they are the closest to family for me, they were quite supportive.” Elizabeth paused to put her coat on.

“Well great.” The elevator dinged and they made their way to the motorcade.

The pair went to their favorite restaurant, ordered champagne, and chatted about ideas for their future, housing, locations, weddings and dresses. “I have to wonder” Nadine said between mouthfuls of pasta “who wears the dress?”

“I think we both do, babe.” Elizabeth laughed; it was never something she considered. Her phone dinged; it was Blake. “Huh, Blake texted me.” Opening the message, she read it out loud. 

‘Good Evening, Ma’am. We heard quite the commotion coming from Nadine’s office, then you both vanished, is everything okay?’

“Oh no…” Nadine breathed. 

‘Everything is fine Blake, have a good weekend.’ Elizabeth texted back. “He can find out with the rest of the staff on Monday. This weekend you are all mine.”

They returned to Elizabeth’s house and promptly collapsed on the couch to do their second favorite thing, watching a few episodes of a show and cuddle under a blanket. Nadine would usually start to drift off when she was wrapped in Elizabeth’s arms. Where she could be small, warm, and safe from the world. Neither noticed that the episode of Cheers had ended. They were a warm, tangled lace of limbs sleeping on the coach Nadine woke and saw the Netflix prompt asking if they were still watching. “Babe, we fell asleep.” She nudged Elizabeth who groaned and almost rolled off the coach. 

“This is not our bed. Let’s go to our bed.” She looked like a sleepy zombie. She pulled the blanket off the couch and wrapped it over her shoulders and shuffled up the stairs. Nadine smiled as she followed her, knowing full well she would likely have to wake Elizabeth again to put on pajamas. They crawled into bed and Elizabeth who never really seemed to wake up, her t-shirt was on inside out and backwards, but she managed to put her sleep shorts on successfully. Nadine put on her matching set of silk pajamas and settled into her side of the bed. “Hey,” Elizabeth said sleepily. “I’m going to be your wife.”

“And I am going to be yours.” Nadine answered as she rolled over to look at Elizabeth. 

“I am the luckiest woman alive, Nadine, I love you.” She wiggled and gave Nadine a sloppy kiss.

“I love you more, goodnight.” She turned off the light on her side of the bed and lay awake looking at the ceiling, she kept twisting the ring. Just knowing it was on her finger, just knowing she had a forever with Elizabeth, gave her butterflies. What felt like for the first time in a long time, she was genuinely happy.


	20. Just another morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, I can't believe this is chapter 20!  
> I have to ask, is there still interest? I am not sure how many more chapter I will write, or when this will end (I have a few ideas for the next 2 or 3 chapters).   
> Please please please comment or kudos so I know y'all want more!

For Elizabeth and Nadine, the next morning was normal. Nadine was awake before Elizabeth and made coffee. Loving the power of a Keurig and picking a different flavor each morning was awesome. She was wrapped in a warm sweater and scrolled through the news on her computer. She called Javier, to her surprise he was awake.

“Miss Nadine, what do I owe the early morning call.” He said cheerily.

“I am surprised you are awake! Jav, I have some news.” Nadine tried to hide her enthusiasm “Why are you awake?”

“Tell away! Oh, it’s Saturday, I get my wine deliveries on Saturday’s.” He said as the sound of clinking bottles in the background.

“You no longer will call me ‘miss’ Nadine anymore.” she paused for effect. “Elizabeth asked me to marry her.” She waited; the end of the line was quiet. She pulled the phone from her ear to make sure they were still connected.

“SHE WHAT? NADINE! You finally found the one! I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!” Javier was practically screaming through the phone. “I knew it. I knew it!”

“Knew what!?” Nadine asked as she tried to hide her laugh. 

“I saw you guys, the way she looked at you, the way you reached for her, the smiles you would share. Nadine, I have never seen something so pure and… wow.” He sounded winded. 

“So, I take it you are on board?” She asked

“GIRL! I AM THRILLED! When you have things ironed out, let me know because I want to make sure you are fabulous. Now, future Mrs. Nadine, I have to unload this wine before I start drinking it. Talk soon love.” 

“Talk soon.” And the line when silent. Nadine put her phone down, and smiled as snuggled into her sweater, her hands sliding into her sleeves as she scooped her coffee mug with both hands and breathed in the sweet steam. Taking a sip, which was still a little too hot, she returned it to the table. She scooted her chair out and walked to the room by the front door that had Elizabeth’s desk. The sun was just starting to peek through and shine on the comfy chair that was next to it. 

Nadine had not heard Elizabeth tiptoe down the stairs. Elizabeth spotted the steaming coffee and leaned over the rail and saw Nadine walking to her desk. She watched Nadine open the blinds a little, letting the sun warm her face. Standing in the morning light, Elizabeth could have sworn she was glowing.

Nadine looked over her shoulder at Elizabeth’s desk, it was covered in State Department files, Nadine thought about the millions of times she would offer to organize it for her, and Elizabeth would shoot her down and say ‘I know where everything is’ and then would proceed to lose something. Nadine smiled, then returned her gaze out the window.

Elizabeth walked up behind Nadine and wrapped her arms around her cozy new fiancée and kissed the back of her neck. “Morning love, you smell like coffee.” Elizabeth rest her head on Nadine’s shoulder as Nadine leaned against her. 

“Morning Sunshine.” Nadine whispered as she tried to turn her head to kiss Elizabeth’s cheek. 

“Whatcha doing?” Elizabeth whispered. Feeling the warm of the sun start to wake up her sleepy skin. 

“Just watching. Seeing the world unfold with a whole new line of possibilities.” Nadine wrapped her hands around Elizabeth’s arms. “I am just… happy.” She said with a satisfied sigh. “I knew I loved you, a lot, and I knew I would fight for you and support you; I knew…” She took a breath. “I knew I wanted to be your forever.” She spun in Elizabeth’s arms. “Now I can be.” She kissed Elizabeth.

“You amaze me Nadine.” Elizabeth said. “You really do.”

“Let’s make some breakfast?” Nadine offered.

“Lead the way.” Elizabeth held her hand as they walked into the kitchen. The pair made their way around the kitchen. A quick breakfast of coffee, store bought muffins and an omelet Nadine was putting together. Once seated Elizabeth downed her coffee and went back to the Keurig to get another. Returning with a warm, fresh mug, “Hey, Nadine.” Nadine looked over the muffin her was picking at. “We are engaged.”

Nadine grinned, a smile that shined, in Elizabeth’s opinion, brighter than the sun. “We are.” She put her muffin down. “And Elizabeth… We are going to get married.” She laughed, looking over Elizabeth, braless and with a rough case of bed head. Perfect, she was just perfect. She scooted out of her chair and looked up the stairs then back at Elizabeth and just as she was about to speak.

“I’ll race you.” Elizabeth said with a smile, but Nadine was already halfway up the stairs.

\----

Monday morning rolled in. Nadine was the first in her office. Shortly followed by Elizabeth who popped her head in Nadine office to say good morning and give her a smooch. It's hard to type emails when you are distracted by the ring on your finger. It also hard to talk on the phone or in a meeting when the ring wants all of your attention. It took everything Elizabeth had in her to stay profession.

Nadine sent out a conference for all the important folks for 10:30. Because that seemed to be the only way They could figure out how to talk to the staff about important things. The others were seated when Elizabeth and Nadine walked into the conference room together, not holding hands just walking, Nadine was poised and put together while Elizabeth was rosy cheeked. 

As Nadine took her seat. Matt stood up. “You did it! That ring!” He looked at Nadine’s left hand. “You guys!” 

The room erupted with applause. Blake looked at Elizabeth, “I told you, you would know the right time.”

“You were right… I just can’t believe it.” Elizabeth said with a smile. 

The room filled with chatter, Nadine was the center of attention as she showed her ring off and was getting hugged. 

“So, what happens next?” Blake asked. “Do you guys have a date?”

“Actually, no, we just want to enjoy being engaged for a little bit. And figure it out when the time is right.” Nadine looked over at Elizabeth. “It makes me excited to know, when our run ends in public service. I will get to too spend that with my best friend.”

“Nadine, you act like you could actually retire.” Elizabeth said back with a smile she knew Nadine would never really retire. It was the same for her too. She loved this line of work that retirement would be teaching or working for the Department as a contract worker or something.

Nadine shrugged. “Well… we do a pretty good job at saving the world, and it's fun. Besides, someone has to keeps this ‘kids’ in line.” She said it jokingly. But knew it would bug Matt. 

“I am not a kid…” He grumbled as he reached for a pastry on the table. Nadine just smiled and walked back to Elizabeth.

“So… back to it. Blake, I am expecting a visit from the Chinese Prime Minister, he will probably just barge in so don’t be alarmed. Daisy, I don’t want this to spread outside of the 7th floor can you, on top of everything else you do, keep an eye on that. Matt and Jay, can you work together to get my speech ready for this coming Wednesday? Thanks, guys.”

And with the meeting ended and the group dispersed. Elizabeth was back in her office and Nadine was passing around hers on the phone working out a travel budget. Elizabeth took a moment to lean back in her chair and just breathe. In the quiet, she felt like she was on top of the world.


	21. Sedated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pulled from the earthquake concept behind 1x7-passage.   
> Because a little disaster can be fun.
> 
> And makes our pair cling to what they have...

After sharing the news with the staff Elizabeth spent some time at the White House with Dalton and discussed her engagement to Nadine. Dalton was delighted. However, she purposely did that when Russell was in the room. He was white as a ghost and horrified, not because of the queer thing-he supported them 100%. But that idea that Elizabeth was wasting time chasing a relationship when she was supposed to be chasing diplomacy made his sick. 

“Elizabeth, there are more pressing matters then being engaged.” Russell said as calmly as he could. Elizabeth stared at him, waiting for him to explain, would she have to kick his ass? It was something she had always kind of wanted to do.

“Why, Russell,” Dalton interjected “this is amazing news, we should be happy for them.” Dalton said as he leaned back in his chair. He looked between a blushing Elizabeth and a flustered Russell.

“India, Mr. President. Do you really think it was a good idea for Elizabeth to be chasing her feelings when we have a big treaty a head of us?

“I happen to be able to multi task, besides, you must have been a romantic at some point you have a wife, who much to my surprise, loves you.” Elizabeth said with a sarcastic smile as she looked him over.

“Just be ready, for anything, this is more important than your little love fest.” And he stormed out with his phone ringing. 

Elizabeth looked at Dalton who held up a hand. “I know you can juggle; I am thrilled, you’ll do well for the factory opening Monday. Just ignore the tightly wound Chief of Staff, he has been working like mad on this.” 

“Thank you” Elizabeth said as she gathered her things to head back to the State Department.

On her way out she also called Dr. McCord who politely congratulated her through a tinge of disappoint that she was off the market for good. 

\---  
Nadine and Elizabeth had been starting the slow processes of moving Nadine into Elizabeth’s home in Georgetown. What Nadine had wanted was for them to get their own place to call home, but that was something that would have to wait until Elizabeth was no longer Secretary and no longer needed a detail. The big step was taking the motorcade in together and arriving on time. Instead of Nadine waiting, they would walk off together and head straight to Elizabeth’s office. The one thing that would never change, was the kiss Nadine would plant on Elizabeth each morning in her office before they started their day.

\---

This Monday sent Elizabeth and Nadine along with a few others to India for four days. A grand celebration of collaboration on a U.S. factory operating with the assistance and aid the Indian people. Elizabeth was there for a speech and a tour, along with meeting diplomats and representatives along the way. Each member that came from the State Department had a job or task they needed to complete by then along with some sightseeing. The last day was would be Elizabeth’s speech. 

The hard part, that part that the pair hated, this was their first diplomatic mission since their engagement. Being out of D.C, and off U.S. soil, they stayed professional or at least tried to. That meant Nadine would not wear her engagement ring, they would stay in separate rooms, with separate rides, only meeting occasionally for group meals or meetings. It had only been 3 days, but it felt like an almost torturous eternity knowing the woman you loved was in the room next door and you can’t even hold her hand.

The evening before, Elizabeth was sitting on her bed reviewing her speech for tomorrow but was distracted thinking about Nadine. She throw the papers on the bedside table and turned off the light. She rolled over to stare at the wall that was separating her from Nadine, with a sad sigh, she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep holding a little stuffed animal she always traveled with. She didn’t hear Nadine snuck into her room in the early hours of the morning.

Nadine had crawled into bed next to her, waking her with gentle kisses. Elizabeth hummed as she opened her eyes to find Nadine draped over her. “Good Morning babe, you can’t be in here.” She said as she proceeded to roll over and wrap her arms around her fiancée and kiss her. 

“I know, I just started to feel naked without my ring and I missed you.” She said with a sheepish smile as she burrowed into Elizabeth’s embrace. 

“It’s hard to pretend that you are just a colleague and to willingly spend all this time apart all while being so close.” Elizabeth whispered back. She checked her watch. “Is it really 2:44 in the morning?” 

“I… yes. I was having a hard time sleeping. Today is a big day and well.” Nadine trailed off. She realized how silly she was sounding the more she spoke.

“No need to explain, I am glad you came. I am too chicken to do the sneaking.” She buried her face into Nadine’s hair. Breathing in the fresh shampoo smell as she did. “Stay with me until morning?”

“I’ll tip toe out by 6.” Immediately comforted by the warmth she shared with Elizabeth. She dozed off to sleep. Swinging in and out of lucid dreams of losing her ring. Nadine woke with a start, out of breath, checking her left ring finger. It was there. Phew. In her dream the gem was gone, the band had broken, and Elizabeth was gone. She shook the thought rolling over to see a sleeping Elizabeth who was curled tightly around a small plush bunny that traveled with her. Nadine took a breath, seeing the clock on the on the bedside table flash 5:30. She had barely gotten any sleep but these few hours with Elizabeth made her feel whole again. Quietly, she left to return to her room. 

At 7:30, Nadine walked down the table that had breakfast, she was dressed and ready for the day, to her surprise Blake and the others were just sitting down. They were never the ones to be early. Pouring a cup of coffee, she heard her name. Looking around she saw Elizabeth, gesturing for her to come to her. Carefully, Nadine did. Only to have Elizabeth pushed to a side doorway. “I needed to make sure we were out of sight.” Elizabeth said quickly. “Good Morning, babe.” And kissed her.

“Now, it is a good morning.” Nadine said with a smile. “I love you.” 

“I love you too. Meet you at breakfast?” Elizabeth said as Nadine was quick to silence her with another smooch. 

“See you there.” Nadine found herself reluctant to walk away. Her hands lingered on Elizabeth’s hips as she peeled her feet off the floor and walked back to the coffee pot. 

A few moments later Elizabeth burst into the room. “Good Morning Everyone. Ready for the day?” She said cheerily as she walked to the food. 

“I know I am ready to go home and sleep for longer than 4 hours.” Blake said over a cup of coffee.

“I agree with him,” Nadine added. “My bed is so lumpy I am surprised I am not crooked”. She smiled at Elizabeth, the bed was fine, she just hated how empty it was.

The staff was ready for the speech which would start promptly at 9:30 followed by a tour then they would be on their plane by 3:30. Eager to get home and return to normal the staff proved to be very punctual. They flanked the podium as Elizabeth started. Sharing her delight for the collaboration and the unity of working together on this project. 

As she was just beginning her speech, a grumble echoed its way from the earth behind her. She paused, she knew this was not a region that experienced earthquakes, it was part of why this was the region was selected, the USGS was confident on it. She tried to continue when alarms started to scream. The ground started to shift as what sounded like an explosion started behind. And that it was, the factory had blown a cooling tower malfunctioned. 

“Everyone, run!” She yelled. She frantically looked for Nadine but lost her in the dust.

The explosion meant the ground started shaking. Knocking the building into pieces as dust filled the air. She tried to get away from the podium. She started to run but it was too late. She had fallen, debris was pilling around her, in her fall she had hit her head. She laid in a heap as the chaos unfolded. Her guards were looking for her, the crowd had vanished, the staff had scattered, but Nadine was running back through the rubble when she saw Elizabeth did not leave with them. 

“Elizabeth, Elizabeth!” She was yelling as loud as her dust filled lungs would let her between coughing fits. She was frantic as tears were streaming down her cheeks. She scurried to the stage and saw the fallen podium, and the bright color of Elizabeth’s jacket. “NO!” She screamed. “Elizabeth!” She ran to her lifeless body, scooping her up in her arms. “Elizabeth, please, I am here, Elizabeth wake up we need to leave.” She openly sobbed, there no way she could lift Elizabeth, her arms were weak noodles, she was scared and exhausted. “HELP!” She screamed over and over. 

Elizabeth’s guards came, one easily scooped up Elizabeth while the other pulled at Nadine. “You need to leave; I need to get you somewhere safe Ms. Tolliver.” 

But Nadine kept fighting him. “No, please I need to be with the Secretary, I need to be with Elizabeth.” Her lungs hurt from the dust, and her eyes were stinging. “Please, let me go!”

“Ms. Tolliver, I can’t.” and with that he picked her up and darted outside. 

An ambulance was waiting, and Elizabeth was rushed inside, and it speed away. The medics didn’t tell anyone if she was even still alive. The Indian government was lashing out at the State Department, stating this was their fault. But Nadine couldn’t hear them. Her ears were ringing and all she could see was Elizabeth, her perfect Elizabeth, as a lifeless heap in the rubble. The tears still flowed, as she tried to think but logic was gone.

“Blake, handle them, if they want us to pull out of this, fine, we will, we will claim all responsibility and repairs and anything else that will make them happy. I am going to find my fiancée.” before Blake could even respond. She darted into the motorcade. 

Within a half hour she was at the hospital. She had called the White House to fill them in on the ride over. Dalton was now on the phone with the Indian Government, relieving the frantic State Department staff. She rushed in, dust and all, she was begging the front desk to let her see Elizabeth. 

“Please my…” She almost said fiancée. “My boss, the Secretary of State, Elizabeth Adams was brought back here. Can I see her?” She was desperate and choking on her tears.

“Ma’am, I am sorry, but she is under examination. No one is allowed in. Does she have family here?” The nurse at the desked asked.

“No.” Nadine took a breath. “No, she has work colleagues here, I am her Chief of Staff. I am the closest she has to family here.” Being professional right now was so hard, but this was going to be in the papers. In the news, it was going to be worldwide. Nadine had to watch her footing,

“Okay Ma’am, I will let you know when she can have visitors.” and with that Nadine was directed to the waiting room. She paced, she cried, she paced again. Time seemed to drag; seconds were hours to her. She fidgeted with her ring, thankful she left it on. “Ma’am?” Nadine sprinted to the desk “The doctor.”

Walking through the side doors was a young man pulling off a rubber glove, balling it up, and throwing it out. “Are you Nadine Tolliver?”

“Yes, I am! How is she!?” She held her hand tightly together like it was the one thing keeping her grounded. She also realized she never gave her name and was surprised they knew it.

“She has a brain contusion, some slight bleeding followed with a mild concussion. The bleeding is minor and has stopped but will be continuously monitored. She is currently under a mild sedation for the next 24 hours so her brain can heal. She kept calling out for a Nadine Tolliver” He saw Nadine nod and put her hands over her heart. “Elizabeth kept trying to leave to find this person, you, before we used the sedation.” He saw Nadine start to crumble. “She is expected to make a full recovery.” As he finished that sentence Nadine hugged him. “You can visit, just be quiet and give her time. Room 447.”

“Thank you, Thank you!” Nadine power walked through the doors and found 447. She paused, took a breath and opened the door. There was Elizabeth, propped up on some pillows with tubes, needles, bags, and wires keeping her stable. Nadine walked slowly to her and took a seat. “Hey babe.” She whispered. She reached her hand to gently hold Elizabeth’s limp one. “I am right here with you. You are not alone. I love you.” She brought her hand to her and kissed it. “I am right here.” She kept whispering.

With a lot of convincing Nadine left to shower, and take care of her own injuries, just some scraps, and a wheeze that would come and go. But she returned to Elizabeth’s side as quickly as she could. She sat in the same chair, answering questions by reporters and the rest of the staff. Once the sedative was removed Elizabeth was wheeled in for a final scan. Nadine paced around the waiting room until she was allowed back at Elizabeth’s side. Nadine took the time to call the White House to get an update on what was happening and to give her own. She could not remember a word Dalton had said just that he had the situation under control, and all she needed to do was to stay with Elizabeth. 

As soon as Elizabeth was wheeled back to her room and a line of fluids was put in her arm. “What happens now?” She asked the doctor.

“We wait for her to be ready to wake up. That could be any minute, or a few days, or longer. I will be back to check on her in an hour. She is breathing on her own which is good, we just need to get her to wake.” and he was gone. No other information no details on the status of Elizabeth.

Nadine stood next to her and held Elizabeth’s hand. “Babe, Elizabeth, it's me. I need you to wake up. Please… please…” She kissed Elizabeth’s forehead and sat back down, giving her hand a squeeze only to have Elizabeth’s fingers stay limp. Nadine felt her heart shattering, her perfect Elizabeth, just a mass of beeps in a hospital bed. “I love you.” She brought Elizabeth hand up and kissed it. “Always.”


	22. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nadine sat next to Elizabeth, trying desperately to stimulate her brain and get her to wake up.
> 
> "17 across..."
> 
> When a crossword puzzle can save a life!

It had been 48 hours since Elizabeth was off the sedative, but she was not the most responsive. Her vitals were good, her heartbeat was being strong, and color was returning to her face. At this point, she looked the way she did when Nadine caught her taking a nap on the couch in her office. Nadine could only hope that meant she was getting closer to waking up.

The rest of the State Department was sent home, and the President had put out the tension with the Indian Government. Dalton was trying everything in his power to get Elizabeth back to U.S. soil and into a hospital in D.C. as soon as possible. “Nadine, I am trying to bring you both home. I promise.” He said on his most recent phone call with Nadine. “It seems the earliest we can get a plane equipped to transport her is next Wednesday.”

“I’ll be here until you can. Dalton? Thank you, it means the world.” Nadine said she hung up the phone. 

Nadine sat in her chair and kept trying to stimulate Elizabeth’s brain to wake up. She talked to her, read to her and even worked on the New York Times crossword puzzle with her.

“Hmmm… 17 across: A sweet alcoholic drink for celebration that can be bubbly.” Nadine looked at Elizabeth “its 4 letters, and the last letter is an E. All I can think is Champagne but that's too long. Thought?” She only got the beeps of Elizabeth’s machines. “We will come back to that. 22 across: A curled metal and warm season? Oh, I know that one! Spring!” Nadine looked at Elizabeth “14 down: the fruit of a great city? Oh please, apple! For the big apple of NYC” Nadine reached for Elizabeth’s hand, “Okay, the next one is yours, 29 down ____ frog game… Bullfrog? No… its two words, Leap? Leap frog game?”

Elizabeth could hear Nadine even though it sounded like they were underwater. She knew Nadine was with her which was comforting in the dark horror that was playing over and over. Everything hurt, her head was pounding. She could hear her ears ringing as it matched the sound of the alarm from the explosion. She was very aware of every heartbeat, and each drop of blood that traveled through her veins. 

Through the throbbing pain, her mind drifted, it started with the morning of the incident, those few hours she shared with Nadine, being awoken by sweet kisses, and just feeling the presences of Nadine next to her made the pain stop for just a few moments. Then it would flash to standing at the podium, the alarms, and the fall. The frantic feeling of not being to find Nadine as she became trapped under the fallen podium before it went black. She remembered the sound of an ambulance and warm sensation filling her veins as she went limp.

She was reliving the day over and over, it felt like Groundhog Day. She was trying to fight it, if she could wake up, she would stop living this hell. She was sure of it. She flashed back to the morning, again, buttoning her jacket as she made her way to breakfast. She paused and looked at the staff, doing the same thing as they were doing each time she lived through it. But this time, there was a large apple on the table, about the size of watermelon. She saw Nadine walk to the coffee then back at the apple. If she could gain control of this loop she would surely wake up, or at least she hoped. 

She called for Nadine, who carefully made her way over to Elizabeth. When Elizabeth pushed her into an open door way to kiss her good morning and asked if she would see her at breakfast, she changed the dialogue she had living through for days “Did you see that big apple on the table?”

“I did, its comical isn’t it? It would make a great pie.” Nadine ended up staying a few seconds longer giving Elizabeth enough time to center the heart necklace she had given her a long time ago. Then the rest of the scene played out, Nadine lingered before returning the coffee pot and Elizabeth bounced in. Then the memories jumped to the alarms.

Each iteration of her memories became more detailed as little things started to change as she gained control and was more aware of her surrounds in that hospital room. The answers to Nadine’s crossword puzzle started making appearances. A spring bounced across the podium before the alarm started. The distraction made her jump out of the way, leaving the podium. This time, as the rubble started to pile up, she was able to get away from it all. Now she was running, yelling Nadine’s name when memories flashed again, and she was back to walking to breakfast. 

At this point Elizabeth was frustrated, but remained calm, if her heart rate in reality spiked, they might sedate her. She had a new idea. It was time to change history. A few moments later Elizabeth burst into the room. “Good Morning everyone. Ready for the day?” She said cheerily as she walked to the food. 

“I know I am ready to go home and sleep for longer than 4 hours.” Blake said over a cup of coffee.

“I agree with him,” Nadine added. “My bed is so lumpy I am surprised I am not crooked”. She smiled at Elizabeth, the bed was fine, she just hated how empty it was.

“Let’s move the speech.” Elizabeth said. “I have to make some changes to make it flow better. Sorry Matt, I just had an idea for is last night and I need a little more time. We will start promptly at 10.” The staff agreed and returned to breakfast and just took their time. 

“Ma’am is this a good idea? It puts us behind schedule.” Nadine said as she sat across from Elizabeth. 

“Nadine, this is a great idea. I had an awful feeling about this.” Elizabeth stared into her coffee, half expecting to see the ring waves like the cup of water in Jurassic Park.

“You are not one to go on hunches.” Nadine leaned forward and lowered her voice “Babe, are you okay?”

“We’ll see, keep your ring on today. It’s going to be a rough day; we’ll want to crack open that bubbly Rose on the plane home.” Rose… That was the answer to 17 across! Now she really wanted to wake up, she couldn’t tell dream Nadine the answer to a crossword puzzle that hadn’t come out yet.

The staff arrived at the venue, set up in front of the factory, as they stepped out of their rides, the grounds shook, alarms screamed, and the building started to crumble. Elizabeth ran to Nadine, who was in the car behind her. Grabbing her hand, they ran to the edge of the parking lot.

“Elizabeth,” Nadine said out of breath, “what happened?” 

“Cooling tower, exploded. I had a dream about this and it was bad and I…” Elizabeth and Nadine looked over Elizabeth shoulder and saw their staff and others escaping, the dust filled the air, screams could be heard over the alarms, blood could be seen and others were limping or stuck in the rubble. 

“I love you.” Nadine squeezed Elizabeth’s hand and kiss her dusty cheek. “Thank God, you are okay.”

Back in the hospital room, Nadine closed the crossword puzzle and stood to go get a cup of coffee. “I love you” She whispered as she squeezed Elizabeth’s hand and kissed her cheek. Just as Nadine was going to pull her hand away, Elizabeth squeezed her hand back. “Elizabeth?” Nadine whispered. 

Elizabeth’s whole body started to shift as her eyes fluttered open “Nadine.” She said weakly she kept blinking as she eyes focused to the fluorescent lights in the room. Nadine started to tear up. “Nadine, I tried to find you but I… I am stuck to a hospital bed.” The more she spoke the stronger her voice got. “But I see you found me.” 

“Thank God, you are okay.” Nadine said happily. “It's been quite a few days.” Nadine said through sniffles. 

“I remember everything up until I fell.” Elizabeth said. “I take it we are still in India. Is Dalton getting us home? Did you send the staff home? Oh God, what happened to the treaty.” Being awake meant all the stress and worries that had been lurking in the corner flooded in. She invited it. It meant she was alive, it meant she had a job to do, she had purpose again. It meant she could be herself.

“One step at a time. We are flying home Wednesday, the staff is home, and Dalton fixed or is fixing everything. I haven’t left your side. While you were recovering, we did the New York Times crossword together.” Nadine said with a laugh. “Anything I could think of to keep your brain active.”

“Oh, I have an answer for you on that. Rose, the bubbly drink. I think it 17 across?” Elizabeth said with a smile as Nadine opened the puzzle.

“You’re right!” Nadine sat back down as Elizabeth slowly reached out for her. “How are you feeling?”

“Everything hurts. Trying to wake up was reliving the worst kind of hell. I relieved the day over and over…” Elizabeth trailed off she could not figure out how to piece it into words. “I am not even sure how to tell my Doctor what it was.

“I… actually I should get your doctor. Hold that thought.” And Nadine zipped out. 

Elizabeth sat in the silence, her whole body was tired, and her head hurt but the more she found herself being present in the now the more comforted she was. The present was facts, truths, and ideas that were real. She was real, Nadine was real. She had her memories long term and most of the short term. She wiggled her toes and stretched her fingers; she really wanted to brush her teeth and wash her hair and to use the bathroom on her own. But above all, she was a little nervous about going to sleep even if for a nap. She needed to be sure she was going to wake up again and not have the dark hell creep back.

“Ms. Tolliver, thank you.” She heard down the hall. “We will check on her now.” A handsome young doctor came into Elizabeth’s room with Nadine in tow. “Elizabeth, it’s nice to see you awake. How do you feel?”

“That is a loaded question Doc, I was fighting the worst nightmare until I finally got myself to wake up. I was able to hear you all, smell even. I could feel your touch, yet I was trapped in the day I was brought in here. Overall, I feel tired and my head hurts not like a major hurt, kind of like the throbbing I had after a night with my sorority in college.” She said with a laugh. She was starting to feel like herself and that was encouraging. 

“That is likely the effect of the concussion and it may have hurt more when the sedative was wearing off. Tell me, what did you see, how did you wake yourself up?” The doctor was curious. Each patient experienced trauma differently. 

Elizabeth took a breath and reached for Nadine. “Well, I relived my day, waking up in the middle of the night because I am bad at sleeping, to getting breakfast, then I would flash to being at the podium and the alarm sounding and falling and being knocked out. Then being picked up, put in an ambulance, and being sedated. I lived it on loop until the words Nadine was looking for in her crossword started appearing. There was an apple, that was huge, so I asked if she had seen she had. It briefly changed the course of the morning. Then the next cycle there was a spring that distracted me, so I moved out of the way of it during my speech and it saved me from the podium fall. But I was still knocked out after I leaped, one of the hits was leap frog, from the podium.” Elizabeth took a pause as she relieved everything. Then when I flashed back to my morning walking to breakfast, I changed the whole day. I moved the speech a half hour later. The building still crumbled but I was safe, Nadine was safe, my staff was safe. In a way, I won.” She looked at the doctor. “Honestly I am afraid to fall able a sleep.”

“That is vivid. I am going to put that on your record, but also fascinating. We will just monitor you for a few days and you will be cleared to go back to the States” the Doctor took some notes an and talked with her and Nadine for a few minutes before excusing himself. 

“Nadine?” Elizabeth said quietly. “Stay with me?” 

“I wouldn’t leave you for anything, except maybe to shower.” Nadine said with a smile. “I was with you every step of the way and it will stay that way.”

“I kept thinking about the morning you snuck in, with everything that happened. I am so grateful you did.” Elizabeth felt her eyes welling up as she spoke.

Nadine took Elizabeth’s other hand “I had a hunch, something was off. I had an odd dream that my ring broke and the gem was gone, and I lost you because of it. Fate is weird I suppose.” Nadine looked around and kissed Elizabeth gently on the lips. “I also have a slight fear of losing it because it's gorgeous.” she said with a smile which slowly faded “The same way I fear losing you.”

“I understand that fear, I thought I would never see you again.” Elizabeth said as she tried to sit up. “But you and I are a bit stubborn.” She smiled wide as she said it.

“I should call the staff, and the President.” Nadine said thoughtfully. “I’ll run and get some coffee and make some calls, you be mellow, and we will work on our crossword when I get back?” She offered.

“I have never been so happy for a crossword in my life. Tell Dalton I will call him tomorrow, once I am cleared to do so?”

“Of course.” And with a final hand squeeze, Nadine left the room. Feeling like she was finally whole again. 

Elizabeth kept trying to move, wished she had something to play with or do instead of counting ceiling tiles. She reached for the remote that was on a small table between her bed and Nadine’s chair. And started flipping through channels, purposely skipping the news and going to the cartoons, some were in English and if they weren’t there was subtitles. The bright colors of the screen gave her brain something to focus on. Keeping things light and entertaining just like she would be doing with Nadine, her sweet Nadine on a sleepy morning.

Nadine returned about 40 minutes later. “Cartoons? Without me?” She said with a smile. 

“It's better than watching the news and getting my blood pressure to high, besides I can only count the ceiling tiles in so many times in so many languages.” Elizabeth said as she lowered the volume. “How are the others?”

“The staff is thrilled, and Dalton is relieved. He looks forward to hearing from you tomorrow.” Nadine set down her coffee cup and New York Times on the nearby table. She started to shift her chair so she could better see the screen when Elizabeth patted her bed.

“Honestly, it's small, but even if just for a few minutes?” Elizabeth scooted as over. “Hop up.” And there they sat, well as long as they could before it got to cramped, side by side enjoying the cartoon of a talking sponge living in a pineapple under the sea.


	23. A chance to tell the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth is slowly recovering from her TBI and is back to work in fulls swing. She pushes to find opportunities to make her presence known by doing local events. In celebration of pride month, a gala is happening looking for speakers. Elizabeth wants to use this to finally be completely public with Nadine. Although, Nadine never even told her own son. Will that change? Will they still go to the dance?

Elizabeth had gotten the all clear to work and was back in the office. She and Nadine fell right back into their routine, and the 7th floor seemed to operate like clockwork. Elizabeth was at her desk eating lunch when she got a call from the president.

“Conrad, you don’t need to keep checking in on me.” she said with a smile, ever since she came home, he had called at least once to check in, and one time even stopped by her house to drop off dinner and check.

“And yet, I feel like I have to and here is why; you get engaged, you share the news with me, I send you to go on a mission, and you almost die. I can’t forgive myself for that.” Dalton sounded flustered by everything. 

Elizabeth was quiet on her end of the line; it has been a crazy few weeks. “It doesn’t mean it’s your fault.” She said firmly. “Please know that.” She took a slow breath, mostly because she burnt her tongue on her tea. “There is not going to be a lot of travel for me for a while, I plan on staying in D.C. for the next few months. I will turn my sights on the satellite production and do a little more in the way of phone meetings.”

Dalton wished her well then hung up the phone, Elizabeth could hear Russell yelling something in the background. She was always thankful from the beginning, before romance was even on the radar, that she had Nadine for her Chief of Staff rather than Russell. Even with her hesitation when Elizabeth had started, she always a shining star and genuine, which may have been a small part of why Elizabeth fell in love with her.

Elizabeth was skimming through her emails when an email forward from Blake popped in. June 1, there was going to be a gala hosted by Human Rights Campaign, celebrating Pride Month, LGBT, and allies. There would be dancing, and food, and a few motivational speakers. They were reaching out to anyone who would read their message to see if they could get some powerful political types, to participate. The email had made its rounds to eventually get to the seventh floor.

“Good Morning Ma’am. A potential interest? Only travel is a downtown convention center.” Blake had been on the lookout for causes that were close to home for Elizabeth to make appearances at since the incident to give her back her footing and to prove she was back in business. 

She read the email over and over, the more she read it the more excited she became. A gala, a dance, a celebration of LGBT. She could have a short speech, she would be in her element, she could dance and hold, even kiss Nadine. She… they. They could make the world know about them, and accept them. She quickly got out from behind her desk and walked to Nadine’s office. Only to find it was dark. Right… She was in Greenbelt at the NASA Goddard Space Flight Center and would be back in the office around 3. 

Elizabeth went back to her office, passed the time reviewing documents the European Space Agency had been working on with the help of a few countries, including Italy. Italy had not been active in the exploration technology in a while, Elizabeth decided to check out their motive. She stepped out to get Blake. “Blake, two things. Human Rights Gala current maybe. Can you get me any briefing notes from Nadine’s Satellite project? I have some questions regarding Italy.”

“Are you concerned with them sending pasta into space? It would be one messy satellite and might be a little too inviting for aliens. I mean, I am not saying they exist, but it hasn’t been confirmed to me that Mulder and Scully aren’t in the basement of the FBI.” He made note of what Elizabeth needed and hunted for the files on his computer before getting up to find the binders.

“Blake, do you mean the X-Files? I’m not…” She paused “Well if you give me a reason to report such extraterrestrial activity, I know the number that’s a direct line to the basement.” She gave him a crooked smile and tried to hide a chuckle. Blakes eyes widen as he stared at her. Elizabeth shrugged “I’ll wait in my office.”

Blake hurried back with a stack full of binders, “If you call Mulder, can you put in a good word for me?”

“Of course.” Elizabeth said as she took the sloppy pile of binders. 

She pillaged through binders and memos. Until her desk was covered and there were sticky notes all over. She stopped to check the time. It was 3:30, Nadine should be back! She walked back to her office. To see the door was open a crake and the lights were on. She knocked.

“Come in! I’ll be one second.” Elizabeth walked in to Nadine on the phone. “Of course, Dr. Georgio, I will make a note of the change. Take care.” And she hung up the phone. “Sometimes I wish I went into the sciences; these people are incredible. Anyway, how are you?”

“I see you are busy.” She smiled. “I had an idea for us.” She told Nadine about the Human Rights Campaign Gala for Pride Month. “I will have to give a speech, and it's a gala we could take the dance floor. I want to dance with you at a gala. I want to take you out and show you off to the world.” She paused as she stood in front of her desk. “Nadine, I want to love you and not care what the world thinks.” 

Nadine blushed, as she typed something quickly into her computer. A smooth quiet song came through her computer speakers. “Elizabeth.” she stood and straightened her skirt and she offered her hand. “Show me.” Her eyes smiled while her lips were sealed. 

Elizabeth took her hand and led her to the center. “I would have you lead, But in this instance.” She wrapped her arms around Nadine’s waist and held her close. “I’ll lead, my way” Elizabeth knew Nadine had taught her what to do, but she liked this way better.

“I taught you…” But Nadine was silenced by Elizabeth’s kiss. She put her arms around Elizabeth’s neck, and pressed her forehead against hers. Elizabeth slide a hand down to her rear and gave it a squeeze. “Hey now.” Nadine whispered as her hand slide to Elizabeth’s shoulders and gripped to the collar of her shirt before she kissed her again. “I suppose that is acceptable.” Nadine said with a smile.

“What do you think? Nadine, will you go to the dance with me?” Elizabeth asked like a giddy schoolgirl.

“Elizabeth I will go to the dance with you. I think it will be a lot of fun. Although…” She paused and looked at Elizabeth. “I never actually told my son... Between him bouncing back and from the states, and he and I barely talking. It just… don’t want him to resent me more” Nadine looked at the floor, her body felt heavy and she never realized how much it bothered her until she said it out in the open. 

“Do you want him to know?” Elizabeth asked quietly. She could never quite understand why Nadine’s son was the way he was. How he could hold so much hate for his mother when she was doing the best she could for him. But Elizabeth knew Nadine still loved him, which meant as their future became the present, he would be considered family, and Elizabeth would love him just the same.

“I am willing to tell the world… but can’t seem to tell him.” Nadine stepped away and sat in the big comfy chair in the corner of her office. 

“Let’s tell him together.” Elizabeth offered as she sat on the arm of the chair. “Whenever you are ready.”

“Well, I have to do that soon before the gala.” She drummed her fingers. “Tonight, after dinner, it will be early morning his time… or he might be back in California… I don’t actually know. But I will call his cell phone and we will tell him.” She kept nodding her head, in a constant effort to reassure herself.

“We can skip the gala.” Elizabeth offered as she stood. “There will always be others.”

“No!” Nadine said a little too sternly. “I want to, desperately.” She had this glorious image of being in the center of the dance floor with Elizabeth. “I want a lot of things. But to be accepted, with you, is a big one.”

“It will happen, I’ll help.” She checked her watch “I’ll see you in a bit.” Elizabeth kissed her on her way out, she had to meet with Blake about the rest of the files she needed. And to confuse him about the X-files. 

Nadine sat at her desk. She pulled out her notebook and drafted what she wanted to say over and over. She paused, she looked at her screen and tapped her spacebar. The music started playing and she leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes, this song was the first song she and Elizabeth had danced to the first time, in secrecy at a White House Gala.

\---   
Elizabeth had just finished with putting away the dishes, Nadine had pulled out her notebook with 3 different versions of the script she had prepared for this moment. Her phone was next to her, ready to make the call. She kept chickening out every time she unlocked her screen. She was growing increasingly flustered as she brains started to race.

Elizabeth saw this unfolding as she wiped her hands on a nearby dishcloth. “Nadine.” Elizabeth sat next to her and reached for her glass of wine. “You should make the call.” She took a sip, eyeing Nadine’s ever reddening face. “I’ll be right here with you.” Elizabeth touch Nadine's knee in reassurance. Nadine nodded and hit the call button. It rang, and rang until…

“Hi Mom.” came through the ear piece. “It’s been a while.”

“Hi honey, how are you?” Nadine tried to keep her composure level and calm.

“Fine.” He answered shortly, he paused. “And you?” Nadine sucked in a quick breath dropped a hand to hold onto Elizabeth’s which was still resting gently on her knee.

“Honey, I… I have to tell you something.” Nadine paused and flashed a nervous look at Elizabeth who gave her a thumbs up and a goofy smile. “You know Elizabeth Adams?” The line seemed to stay quiet.

“Yes, the Secretary of State, your girlfriend, the woman you were caught with that brought your relationship public. The woman you stayed in India with while she was unconscious. Is this you telling me you are in a relationship? That you found true love? Let me guess, you are you are engaged too?” He practically sassed her as he spoke. His words stung Nadine, she grimaced.

“I…” But Nadine stopped, she realized just how much time had passed and it made her stomach turn.

“Look. I get it, I am an awful person at times, but I am still your son! It hurts that you didn’t feel the need to tell me; but getting caught and making a national statement was totally fine.” Nadine was without any supporting words of her own, she could only listen. “Look” he sighed “I can’t be mad at you for being happy, finding someone who cares about you more than my own father ever did. Mom, I… I… find being halfway across the world makes it hard to hold a grudge. But I can’t help being a bit angry.” 

Nadine nodded slowly as she pushed the notepad away. “I understand, I wanted to tell you sooner, but I was nervous. Our relationship has been hostile, to the point that being so far apart and absent with the occasional call meant I still had my son, even in a small way.” She paused, letting it sink in. “I was afraid this would give you something more to hate about me.”

The line stayed quiet a little longer then Elizabeth was comfortable with, but she watched. She also started thinking depending on how this goes she would have to get something stronger than wine. 

“You… thought… or rather, you think I... I don’t hate you, well I did. Juilliard was your dream, you never let me be my own person. You wouldn’t listen to me when I tried to tell you, so I left. I am starting to understand why you did what you did. I have been going steady with a girl, and when I think of a future, I realize everything you did was for a reason, you wanted to best for me, and I was only satisfied with good enough. That is my own fault.” Nadine’s went wide as she looked at Elizabeth. “I want to fix that. I didn’t deserve a parent like you. I need time to digest your news. I want to rage, be an angry kid about it. But I grew up and… I want to be glad.” The voice started defeated, sad at himself for the life he threw away, and the mother ignored. The voice started to sound desperate to be understood, and anxious to apologize.

“If you have the time now, we can catch up on so much, if not I can call you another time.” Nadine offered quickly so much progress was being made and she was feeling lighter than air. At this point Elizabeth leaned back in her chair and finished her wine and smiled as she saw Nadine light up.

“I don’t have much time because of the time zone difference, and I should probably try to sleep. But I have a few quick questions.”

“Go on.” Nadine encouraged.

“First, do you love her?”

“Very much so.”

“Second, does she love you?”

“More than you could ever imagine, she makes me be my best self, she makes me laugh, she is my biggest fan, she cheers me on, she is endlessly kind.” She looked at Elizabeth “She’s everything.”

“And last, is she willing to accept me and the mess I happily call my life? I am not saying I am coming for holidays or movie nights but enough to know that the person you will be with forever, doesn’t mind my existence even if I am halfway across the globe.” Nadine's eyes started to well with tears, she was overwhelmed with the improvement and just so happy.

Nadine looked at Elizabeth who had heard most of the conversation to this point, “Tell him, with open arms, and that is a promise.” Elizabeth smiled as Nadine gave up and let a tear roll down her cheek.

“She is sitting with me and says, ‘with open arms, and that is a promise.’ And she means it, I mean it.”

“We will talk soon. Right?” the voice at the end of the line that started as pissed off and annoyed, changed to a kid looking for assurance from his mom. 

“Of course, call me when you are ready. Sleep well.”

“Bye.” 

Nadine put her phone face down and took a long slow breath as she wiped away that rogue tear. She tried to speak but it was easier to just make a squeaking sound as she stood and twirled around the kitchen. She finally was complete. Elizabeth started to follow her only to have Nadine wrap herself around Elizabeth. “I have it all, I have the world’s best fiancée, a better relationship with my son, I enjoy my job, I just.” She trailed off and scooted her butt onto the kitchen island.

Elizabeth stood before her and kissed her. “You are happy. Shall we celebrate? I could go get something a little stronger than wine.”

Elizabeth started to walk away, only have Nadine grab her arm. “I think I have a better idea.” her voice purred. Elizabeth giggled as she chased Nadine up the stairs.


	24. Love is...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is finally time for the LGBT gala hosted by the Human Rights Campaign. Elizabeth and Nadine attend for many reasons. It would be a public outing for Elizabeth after her hiatus from her accident, it would be a chance to show of Nadine to the world, and above all. They would finally get to dance together. 
> 
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE! I love my readers and I promise to keep writing, I am not done with the story yet, I graduated grad school and started a new job so my life has been wild. There will be more I PROMISE THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE.

“Elizabeth.” Nadine said as she turned on to look at Elizabeth. Nadine was sitting on the couch looking at dresses on Macy’s website while Elizabeth was pacing from the kitchen to her desk and back. It was a Saturday, nothing important, just preemptively working on the speech for the gala next week. She wanted to be the person to write it, she wanted it to be personal. Besides it felt weird having Matt write it for her. 

“Hmm?” Elizabeth was half paying attention as she reached for an Oreo, stress eating. Great, just when she was going to have to find a dress to fit into. 

“I don’t want you to see me before the gala.” Nadine said flatly.

“Mmm?” Was all Elizabeth could respond with a face full of Oreo.

“I want it to be a surprise what I wear. I want it to be that kind of moment where I get to see you, in your dress, and just take my breath away. Makes me awestruck.” Nadine fought the smile, but it was clear it was creeping in.

“That sounds a bit like a wedding to me.” Elizabeth said after she finished her Oreo. “But it could also be a lot of fun, I have one request.” She pointed an Oreo at Nadine. “Tell me the color so I don’t get the same. Okay?”

“Sure, fine.” Nadine smiled. She returned to her search; she was thinking something proud, maybe red?

\---

It was the day of the gala; Elizabeth was waiting in a small room in the convention center for Nadine. Elizabeth had her hair curled at the bottom. Her dress was a beautifully simple floor length gown that had straps that sat off her shoulders, hugged her waist and hips before falling to the floor. It was a white dress, with a subtle but floral design that wrapped around, accentuating her curves. She was taking a sip from the water that was provided for her when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in!” She yelled, and the door opened slowly. It was Nadine in a radiant red strapless dress that hugged every inch of her body perfectly, before it fell loosely from just below her hips to the floor, it was a dress that was meant to be twirled in. Her curly hair was neatly pinned up and she wore the heart necklace Elizabeth had given her on their trip to New York. “Oh my…” Elizabeth whispered. 

“Elizabeth, you look stunning.” Nadine said breathlessly briskly walking up to her.

Elizabeth couldn’t answer, she was shocked, she had to pick her jaw off the floor as she hurried over to Nadine and greeted her with a kiss, “wow.” Was all she was able to say.

“You like?” Nadine asked playfully.

Elizabeth traced her fingers down Nadine’s sides. “Love it.” She whispered. “You honestly amaze me, Nadine.” she reached for both of Nadine’s hands. “Ready for this?”

“Beyond ready.” Nadine whispered.

The pair walked into the grand hall, surrounded tables and people and lights. They were guided to their seats near the front of the room, it was becoming abundantly clear to the both of them that this was all going to be recorded. Which actually made Elizabeth a little uneasy, the whole nation did not need to see her put butter on a dinner roll. So, she used some State Department strings that forced the cameras to move around. Minor abuse of power, but it felt more appropriate. 

The tables started to fill with celebrities, athletes, politicians, and more. Agendas for the evening were out of the table and Nadine and Elizabeth began reviewing it. They were curious to see who were the other 4 people that would be sitting at their table. Much to their surprise they had 4 colleagues from the Department of Education joined them. 

“When I heard State would be here, I did not expect the Secretary herself and her Chief.” Valarie Brown said with a smile. Valarie is the research coordinator for the Department of Education. She was leading the department’s research on how the exclusion of different identities can affect social development. Elizabeth knew her from a collaboration State had done with her department. Valarie was with her partner and there were two men from Education neither Elizabeth nor Nadine knew.

“Really Val, surprised the openly gay Secretary of State is here with her openly gay Chief of Staff who happen to be in a happy relationship? Come on now.” Elizabeth laughed. She wanted to say engaged, but realized it was not something that had ever been fully broadcasted, so she left it subtle, the nation would know soon enough. That thought made Elizabeth a little on edge, it was finally sinking in just how big this event was to not just the LGBT community but to her personally.

“Fine fine, I am just surprised you are here, you guys are such a high-profile figure for something like this.” Valarie said in rebuttal.

“I suppose that is fair, but after the media nonsense a few months ago, it just seemed like a good spot to stand and make a speech and besides, when else can I be at a gala and dance with her?” Elizabeth looked at Nadine as she spoke.

“I am really am looking forward to the dance, honestly.” Nadine chimed in.

“Bess, I am sorry, but I have seen you dance. It brings a smile to my face.” Val said as she reaches for her phone that was buzzing on the table. “Excuse me.” 

“And with that I am getting wine, would you like anything?” Elizabeth offered Nadine as she stood. She needed to move; she was to uptight now. She was feeling a little anxious and figured a chance to get a glass of wine was something simple to achieve. 

“White would be perfect.” Elizabeth nodded and left. Nadine reached for her phone and took a short video while she swiveled in her chair and sent it to Blake and Daisy and made polite conversation with the Department of Ed. while she waited for Elizabeth. Her phone kept pinging from Daisy, begging for more pictures. 

Elizabeth returned with two glasses and sat next to Nadine. “45 minutes until show time. I will admit I am a little nervous.” Elizabeth downed her glass of wine like it was little more than grape juice. “I have dealt with traitors and monsters; I have landed global deals. But this is so much more, it's my world. It’s you.” she fidgeted with her phone on her lap. “It just…” But she couldn’t finish her sentence, she had no answer other than the weight of her speech was starting to feel heavy on her shoulders.

Nadine didn’t skip a beat. “Follow me.” She stood quickly and walked out of the room.

“Nadine? Nadine?” Elizabeth hurried behind her. A man with a camera was following Nadine and Elizabeth.

“Excuse me, this is a State issue, no cameras.” Nadine held her phone to her ear like she was making a call. “Hi Blake, thanks for taking my call. I am just waiting for the Secretary.” She glared at the cameraman until he left, and Elizabeth approached. “Blake, thank you. There was a cameraman who would just leave me alone. Sure, I will send some over. Talk later.” and she hung up the phone. 

“Was that Blake, I’m confused.” Elizabeth kept running after Nadine who just kept walking to the room where they first met in. “Nadine? What are you doing?”

“This.” She closed the door and stood squarely before Elizabeth “and this” she whispered again. She pushed Elizabeth against the door and kissed roughly. Not caring if lipstick smeared or if hair was messed up. Nadine kissed Elizabeth for all she was worth, hoping each kiss would help wash away her fear and her worry. Elizabeth followed, melting against Nadine’s touch. She followed each movement and chased Nadine’s lips. 

“Or that.” Elizabeth said out of breath. She kept her arms wrapped tightly around Nadine. She tried to focus on her heart rate, but the look on Nadine’s face, the pure admiration in her eyes made that a challenge. “All things considered; I am excited for this.” She said as she leaned in to kiss Nadine again.

“You have nothing to worry about. Your speech will be wonderful and afterward, we get to dance.” Nadine said as she smiled widely, she was so energized and excited. “Ready to go back?”

“I secretly can't wait to how easily that dress will slide off.” Elizabeth whispered as she opened the door. Nadine’s cheeks, which were already a little pink from being aggressively smooched turned a shade darker. They walked back to their table and started the conversation back up, while they waited for the talks to begin.

“Thank you all for coming to this gala. It is with great honor that I announce our final speaker for the event, Secretary of State Elizabeth Adams.” The director of HRC said over the mic. There was a sea of applause as Elizabeth walked to the podium. She took a brief second to scan the room, there were political power players, athletes, celebrities, writers, students, and normal people all sitting in a room, all united in sharing one thing, love. The feeling of being in a room that had so much support was comforting to her. She took a deep breath, saw Nadine smiling up at her, and began.

“Hello, everyone, and thank you for having me. I will keep this brief. I don’t want to hold everyone up from dancing and food. Which smells delicious by the way. If I didn’t have to be in this dress, I would be piling the entire kitchen on my plate later.” The audience laughed. Nothing like a gentle opener. She paused, letting the laughter stop. 

“Today is a celebration, a day where differences are not set aside but brought together. A chance to show others who you are, what you believe in, and a showcase of love. I could stand here and talk policy, I could stand here and talk about global issues and problems, I can lecture you on the propaganda, and the spread of misinformation when it comes to love, gender, and sexuality, but tonight I want to be personal, and talk about what love is.

Love is something different to each and every one of us. Love can be physical or emotional, it can be loud or quiet, love can be everything or nothing. But at its core, at its truth, love in undeniable. It is a powerful force, a magnet, that draws you in and holds you close. Love is wild, like an untamed mustang running across an open range. Love is unique.

We stand on the solid ground of those who came triumphantly before us, brave souls who stood up for themselves and those around them. We represent a revolution, a time where the course of history changed, a moment where its stopped being a question ‘love is.’ and it became a statement, an anthem. We would no longer be knocked down; we would no longer be picked on. We would be accepted, approved, and supported. All aspects that are crucial to love.

Love comes from your friends, family, your romantic partners, and even the people that are in this room, right now. It’s the kindness you see in the eyes of a stranger, it's more than faith or hope, it cheats out time, it’s the eye of the chaotic storm we live in. It comes from a deep connection, that is raw and irreplaceable, something that is completely terrifying. 

Love is…” and she paused as she looked at the captivated room and looked at Nadine who was sitting at the edge of her seat. “Love is Nadine Tolliver.” Nadine froze as the room look her. “My sweet Nadine, the woman who honestly amazes me every day, the woman who will someday soon be my wife.” Elizabeth smiled proudly at her, while Nadine found herself grinning from ear to ear. “Nadine works tirelessly and effortlessly when it comes to diplomatic issues, global hiccups, and negotiations as my Chief of Staff. When she is not dominating the 7th floor, she makes for a wonderful dance partner and terrific travel buddy. She is great at crosswords too. She is kind, patients, funny, and most importantly, my best friend. I love you, Nadine.” Nadine felt herself tearing up. “I can’t wait to get the chance to dance with you tonight in the open eyes of the Nation, for the first time.” There was an applause of the audience that rang through the grand hall.

“What you consider love, should honor, accept, approve and support you. And if they do not. Show them. Show them kindness, show them how. You can teach and be taught and lead by example. Tonight, we celebrate our differences. Tonight, we celebrate you. And remember, be proud of who you are because love is love and you are you. 

Now, let’s celebrate! Thank you everyone!” And the room erupted. As Elizabeth left the podium and started her way back to her seat, she was met halfway by Nadine who threw her arms around her neck and kissed her for the whole room to see. Elizabeth meet each kiss as she held Nadine close. 

“I love you too.” Nadine said as she broke the kiss to look at Elizabeth, she was still smiling yet had a rogue tear slid down her cheek. 

Elizabeth wiped it away, “Always.” she said she took Nadine’s hands. 

“And forever.” Nadine said as she gave her hands a squeeze. 

Starting to walk back to their seat the director of HRC, came to the microphone. “Now, that is what I call love Madam Secretary. Now everyone, let’s eat!”

Food was brought to tables as the waitstaff hurried back and forth through the kitchen, Elizabeth and Nadine got their food and started to dig in. Well Elizabeth did, she hadn’t eaten all day out of nerves and in the moment, that pesto was the best she had ever eaten she swore it could have been flown over from Italy. 

“Elizabeth, I’m going to get something to drink, would you like anything?” Nadine offered “Also.” and she pointed to a spot of green pesto sauce that had gotten onto Elizabeth’s cheek. Elizabeth shoveled the last of the pasta in her face and reached for her napkin. “Will you eat anything but that pesto?” Nadine noted that the rest of the food on her plate was untouched. 

“Did you taste it?” Elizabeth asked as she realized her lips were covered in pesto, which was only a little embarrassing.

“Well, I only had a bite before you took mine.” Nadine said with a smile, Elizabeth turned a faint shade of pink. “I don’t mind.” She said sweetly. “I just want to make sure that pasta isn’t the only thing you devour hungerly.” Nadine folded her napkin and stood waiting for Elizabeth to follow and to at least give her an answer.

Elizabeth laughed as she stood. “I don’t plan on devouring you.” She leaned into Nadine’s ear. “I fully plan on admiring every inch of you, savoring just how good you taste, marveling in the sensation of me bringing you to the edge…”

“Stop before you start making a promise you can’t keep in a public setting.” Nadine said shortly “Or I can’t.” She zipped away with Elizabeth in tow. 

The night progressed, food and laughter filled the night. Music started playing and the dance floor was alive. Although the music was not to Nadine’s standards, pop rock with too much bass. Elizabeth found herself nodding to the beat. The pair retreated to a second room, with a few of the other “old” folks where they had more wine and talked. They were instantly cornered by Department of Commerce, lecturing that nothing the satellite project was doing was in line with that the Secretary of Commerce thought it was going to be.

“This project aligns with NOAA, NASA, and ESA” Nadine said with an eye roll. “It has been approved through the appropriate channels and if for whatever reason our idiotic department chooses to pull support for your scientists or the project, remember you are working in conjunction with State, remember that. We will take your scientists and your programs and help them the way they need” Nadine crossed her arms. “You’re his assistant, right?”

A wide-eyed man nodded; Nadine had just politely slapped him into place it made his head spin. “Tell him, Nadine Tolliver will fight him on this. I look forward to talking to him tomorrow. Have a good night.” The man was frozen where her stood. 

Nadine turned away and heard someone way ‘she can’t talk to you like that. She’s only State.’ like the various departments were sports teams. ‘Oh no, she can, and she is right. Commerce is pushy for only the results it wants, at least State actually helps change the world.’

“I see you attacked the Commerce assistant.” Elizabeth asked when she finally made her way to Nadine at the bar. 

“He is so blind by what they feed his growing mind. He needs to be taught to see the big picture. He will either tell Secretary Burke or not. He might lose his job and if he does, he better call me because I will get him set somewhere in our department.” She took a sip of her water. “If that is okay with the Secretary of State” She added realized she was bulldozing. 

“Even out of the office you work hard. I don’t care where you put him, just leave our dynamic team intact.” Elizabeth added as she reached for more wine. Nadine nodded with a smile; she loved this dynamic duo relationship they had. Elizabeth zipped to the bathroom, leaving Nadine to watch the people bounce and dance around. 

Elizabeth came power walking back. “Put your glass down.” She said a bit demandingly. Nadine looked at her confusingly but did as she was instructed. Elizabeth pulled her hand and made her walk with her. “You are going to love this.” Elizabeth could not be cover up excitement well. They walked to the edge of the dance floor.

“This one was requested for a Nadine Tolliver.” rang through the speakers “Will all you lovely people make a space for our Secretary of State and Chief of Staff to have their first public dance.”

The song, the song Elizabeth and Nadine first danced to in a stolen moment what seemed like years ago. “Lead the way.” Elizabeth whispered. The floor cleared quickly, and the room hushed. Hand in hand they took the center of the floor. Nadine was tearing up; it was finally happening. She locked eyes with Elizabeth looked a little nervous. The pair moved seamlessly, each step was fluid and planned. The crowd closed in around them and cheered, causing a tear to escape from Elizabeth. “I love you.” Elizabeth whispered. 

“And I love you, are you ready?” The twirl was about to come up for Nadine.

“Always.” Elizabeth whispered back. 

The footwork was flawless, Elizabeth lifted her arm, sending Nadine away and pulling her back in. Nadine was beaming as Elizabeth held her close and kissed her as the song ended. Elizabeth and Nadine stayed their embrace for what felt like hours, but was only a few seconds.

“Marry me.” Nadine said as they started to step apart.

“I thought you would never ask.” Elizabeth said as she took her hand. “Head home?”

“After this.” A camera and reporter from the New York Times came into view capturing the photo that would be the cornerstone of the gala. Nadine kissing Elizabeth’s cheek while Elizabeth had a huge grin. The moment after the photo Elizabeth kissed her back. “Now the world knows, let's head home.”


	25. I can't believe it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going to a gala, dancing, drinking and having a terrific time with the woman you love; knowing that as soon as you get home that ever so stunning dress will be delicately slid off and the fun will continue. What more could you ask? Nothing could break the moment. Except for maybe Russell busting in.

Sneaking away into the waiting motorcade and speeding away with their ears ringing a little from all the noise. 

“I can’t believe it.” Nadine whispered. Elizabeth just looked at her with a small smile. “I, Nadine Tolliver just had the chance to dance with the one and only Elizabeth Adams. It’s a rush, it’s almost like getting to slow dance at prom with your high school sweetie.” Nadine shifted in her seat to look at Elizabeth. “It was incredible.”

“You are incredible.” Elizabeth replied as she sank into her seat, she didn’t realize how much her feet hurt until she was finally off them. “But, I went to prom… this is way better, trust me. I had an awkward skinny nerd who left to go to a Magic the Gathering tournament thing.” Elizabeth laughed. “I wonder if you would have liked high school me.” She said as she looked up at the car ceiling as she spoke, reflecting back on the type of person she was, it made her mind wander. Seeing herself and Nadine shyly holding hands in the halls or sharing fries at a local diner or sneaking kisses when they were supposed to be studying together.

Nadine thought about it, she was a rebel. She was a good enough student but a kid who was careless and really just wanted to be on stage. She looked at the gorgeous blonde next to her and had a painful reminder of their age difference. “Well to start, we would not have been in high school at the same time.” Nadine felt bashful regarding her age and wanted to make a joke out of it but was lost for words. It was always a small fear that her age would be a reason that Elizabeth would leave her, no matter how irrational she knew it was.

“If, in a perfect alternate reality. Say you were a senior and I was a sophomore. Something that never changed was my admiration for woman a smidge older than I am.” She flashed Nadine a grin.

“I don’t think you could have handled me; I was an emotional disaster which is why I found refuge on the stage; I didn’t need to be me. But I still tried to do well enough in my classes.” Nadine looked over and pursed her lips together, “Unless you happened to be in chorus, or the creative writing magazine…?” She shrugged, she was thankful she grew out of that stage, but even being the most professional type of person in the department, she still felt that rebellious nature sneak out from time to time. 

“I was the nerd always staying after, in clubs and honor societies, I had big plans I just never knew what they were.” Elizabeth said as she reached for Nadine’s hand. “But I like to think as different as were may have been then, something would have made our paths cross. Probably with the literary magazine, I was editor in chief.” She played with Nadine’s fingers.

“Oh really? If you ran my magazine, I would have tried to crush you. The teacher who ran it and I were very close, she wanted to sculpt me to be a poet.” Nadine scrunched her nose. 

“A poet? Really?” Elizabeth let out a laugh. “I was romantic short stories mostly”

“Short stories, how original, maybe try to write something that means a damn thing.” She crossed her arms and raised her voice; she was pretending to be her high school self but couldn’t keep a straight face. “Maybe write something that people will actually care about. Maybe put your heart on that shitty piece of loose-leaf and make me believe that there is good in the world or tell the same sad story we all write about because people suck. I don’t care about your description of a rose; we have all seen one.” At this point she was laughing. “That was an honest conversation I had with some poor freshman boy who wanted to submit his work, I made him cry… I was sent to the principle and told to dial down the enthusiasm,”

“We were always a little short on submissions, so everyone got to publish.” Elizabeth smiled as she shook her head. “You would not have scared me. I would have fought right back.” She gave Nadine’s hand a squeeze. “I would have won you over with my poems about love and romance and maybe teach you a thing or two.”

“If you tried, we would have found ourselves alone in the printing office, which I was the only student with the key, and I would have taught you a thing or two.” Elizabeth gave her a confused look “the printer made a lot of noise; it was great at covering up other sounds.” Shrugged her shoulders casually. At this point, she was having fun pretending and the idea of a version of Elizabeth that only played brave and was a little more naturally submissive was interesting.

“You were a little rough and wild. I’d like to think I’d keep up because I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“Me either.” 

They took the rest of the drive-in silence, the quiet night having a conversation for them. Between the road noise, street sounds, and sirens, and faint radio grumblings. It was finally sinking in just what exactly they had done tonight. How big it was for not only them but for others who may be struggling. When they arrived home, the sound of one set of heels clinked along the pavers while a pair of bare feet padded next to them. The door opened and locked, the lights kicked on, and they were both standing in the kitchen still dressed, minus the shoes.

“Do I want another glass?” She stared at the counter that had an array of boozy drinks on it. “Or do I want… you.” She turned to see Nadine leaning against the kitchen island, she let her hair down and even though she was tired was still the definition of perfection.

“I could make a compelling argument” Nadine offered as she shifted her feet. “And that, would be seeing just how quickly I could get that dress to hit the floor.” she giggled as Elizabeth scooped her into her arms and kissed her.

The kisses were hot and fast, Elizabeth grabbed Nadine’s rear and gave it a squeeze, making Nadine let out a small squeak. Nadine’s hand tangled in Elizabeth’s hair as she started to pull it. Elizabeth buried her face into Nadine’s neck, started to lightly drag her lips down to her shoulder and began to nibble. Nadine reached for the zipper on the back of Elizabeth dress, sliding it easily. Elizabeth was gathering the bottom of Nadine’s and made quick work of her stockings when there was a knock.

“Elizabeth, I know you and Nadine are home.” It was Russell. 

Elizabeth jumped still gripping on to Nadine. They were both out of breath and quiet. Secretly hoping that he would leave but he kept pounding the door. Elizabeth tried to think logically but that was hard, she was clouded by a lusty desire that made the small fact that this was probably a national emergency seem unimportant. Nadine nudged her to get the door as she started to adjust her dress. Elizabeth made her way over, her hand holding the back of her dress closed. “Russell?”

Russell just rolled his eyes and pushed passed Elizabeth. He walked into the kitchen and saw a red-faced Nadine in the kitchen frantically putting herself together. “Did I interrupt something?" Elizabeth was about to answer before Russell put up his hand “Don’t answer, I don’t need to know.” He took a slow breath “You are both needed at the White House. Immediately. We have tried to reach you, but you were not responding because of your little gala.” He put air quotes around gala. “You have 30 seconds to put yourselves together. I’ll meet you in the situation room.” And he walked to the door but paused. “Nadine, have you been to the situation room?” He turned and stared at her. The look in his eyes was pained. He wanted tell them the reason but… it had to wait. “Be ready. This is going to be a bit different.” And with that last thought, he left.

Nadine and Elizabeth quickly made their way upstairs to change only to have Elizabeth stop them. “I don’t know what is about to happen, but I do know I’d really like to finish what we started.” She knew she needed to try, her body felt like it was on fire, her senses on high alert, her brain still drunk on Nadine’s kiss, her lips craving Nadine’s.

“I was hoping you’d say that. We just might need to expedite this with a little help…” She reached into her bedside draw and pulled out a little bullet vibrator. Elizabeth had been sitting on the edge of the bed. At this point her dress was off and she was just in her lacy undergarments. Nadine strode up to her and pushed her back. Straddling her as she kissed Elizabeth all over. She was very responsive, desperate at this point. Her eyes had been on Nadine all night, and then to be interrupted, she was convinced she was going to burst. Nadine didn’t even bother to tease. The vibrator plus Nadine’s tongue had Elizabeth withering beneath her in what seemed like no time. 

Elizabeth was barely off her high before she was helping Nadine strip down. She sat back on the bed and pulled Nadine with her. She could taste herself on Nadine’s lips which just drove her further. She was on her back and scooted Nadine forward. Nadine gripped the headboard and carefully centered herself over Elizabeth, who was guiding her hips to rock as she circled Nadine’s clit, she was wet and ready. Elizabeth reach for the vibrator but Nadine stopped her. “You aren’t the only one whose been riding the edge all night.” Elizabeth loved when just her could work magic with just her tongue, she moved one hand to Nadine’s breast and started pinching and rolling her nipple until she came, hard. Elizabeth could barely keep up as Nadine rode out her orgasm. 

She collapsed on Elizabeth, kissing her glistening lips. She wished they could stay have another round, but they had to get dressed and leave. “You amaze me, Nadine.”

“Elizabeth, you are incredible.” Nadine started to get up, a little wabbly but feeling like whatever was waiting in that situation room wouldn’t be bad at all. “I got to dance with you tonight, for all to see.”

“I got to show you off to the world.” Elizabeth answered she walked to the bathroom. She paused and turned around. “I never thought I could love you more than I already do.” 

“You have made me learn a lot about love, and one of those is that I never knew how to love the way I love you.”

They quickly put themselves together and ran out back to the motorcade.  
\--- 

They were in the motorcade, changed into slacks, blouses, and light jackets and blazers, and gala make up washed off. They were trying to think about what this meeting at 10:00 on a Friday night would be. But they were still riding the bliss of their evening and didn’t put too much thought into it.

“I just want to point out how embarrassing it was to be in the middle of enjoying and celebrating our evening and Russell just walks in.” Nadine said replaying the events in her head looking for any kind of clues. “I mean really!” she shook her head.

“He could at least buy us dinner.” Elizabeth said with a laugh. “Oh God, that is a scary image, at least we know what this meeting isn’t about.” She felt like the image of all three of them in a bed was burning into her mind.

“Did you…” Nadine shuttered. “Thanks babe.” and she laughed. “That is not an image I need. I could have gone the rest of the rest of my life without that. Besides, I don’t want to share you. And I don’t care how selfish that is.” 

\--

The pair walked through the door of the situation room and saw the usual seats filled with their usual occupants with the President standing leaning over the table as he thought things through. “Elizabeth, Nadine. I am sorry to interrupt your evening. But you need to be aware of this right away. This was emailed to me from an anonymous email.” He took over the screen and clicked through a slide show of photos of Nadine.

“My team is working on…” Someone from DoD was talking, someone from the FBI was responding, someone from an ethics committee chimed in but Nadine and Elizabeth weren’t listening. Images of Nadine meeting at NASA Goddard, and NOAA NESDIS populated the screen. Images of her walking around DC, drinking coffee, driving, sitting in the grass of the National Mall admiring the Washington Monument, her writing in a notebook with cherry blossoms floating into her hair, her talking to Javier from when she and Elizabeth were in New York, her kissing Elizabeth at a restaurant, her fighting for her freedom from Mike B. that night at the bar and there were two that scared them all; her sitting in the big comfortable chair in her office on the 7th floor of the State Department building that was from this year, and other that was taken in 2010 according the older style of the logo on the folder.

“That is my office,” she stammered as she pointed at the screen “that is my life.” She looked around as the room hushed. “Most of those images are present, within the last year or so… But there are some from when Marsh was Secretary. The oldest is the one of me sitting in front of the monument, my hair has not been that long in about 10 years. Some of those are high quality candid’s, how did they...” Her face went pale, she felt sick.

“We thought this was a trap to get Secretary Adams, but the more we look into the storyline of these, we can see they are targeting you.” Someone from DoD said but it came in as white noise as Nadine sat down with her heart in her throat. Elizabeth felt her own heart break as she sat next to her and put her hand on Nadine’s arm.

“Nadine.” Dalton said kindly. “We need you to give every detail you can regarding those pictures.” He sat down and opened a folder that had hard copies in it. “I do not know what the plan is, I do know that I will keep you save. Both of you.” He said as his eyes bounced from Elizabeth to Nadine. 

Elizabeth finally got her act together. “Some of those pictures, I was with her at the time. And I did not catch anything.” She leaned forward and opened her own folder picking up the photo of younger Nadine, smiling to herself as she read the paper in some coffeeshop. Nadine looked stunning in it, these candid’s took time and patience. “Big picture, is this an attack on the State Department? An attack on any acting Secretary?” Elizabeth wanted to do everything she could right now but felt like a Jeep spinning its wheels in a sand pit.

“We don’t know yet, we are pulling all our resources to check and see what we can find. The fact that someone was able to get into your building and into those NOAA and NASA buildings is where we are starting, they had to have gotten clearance from someone.” Dalton said, determination strong in his voice.

“Let me walk you through each photograph, starting with the oldest.” It was the one of her sitting in the grass in front of the Washington Monument. “I was asked to be former Secretary Marsh’s’ Chief of Staff that day. I wanted to celebrate, so I left work early and went to observe the monument. It's my favorite in all of the National Mall. It is simple and tall as it oversees the lives and activities of democracy. It makes me feel proud, and in a way, I felt like I would be representing that idea. I would be helping oversee democracy.” She was quiet as she travelled back in time. She could smell the grass and feel the warm fall sun on her back as she long bright yellow cardigan splayed on the grass behind her. “I was waiting for Marsh, he said he would take me out to dinner to celebrate.”

She shuffled through the photos again, trying to put them in order. “Next… is.” She held up two photos. Ripping through her brain to try to figure out her own timeline. She shook her head as she put them down and picked up another. She stared at it, sucking in a jagged breath as she put it down. “Next is the day shortly after I started as Chief of Staff. I received a call from my son’s horrible father. Drunkenly yelling at me, saying I was useless in the political world. Saying I was, and I quote ‘the same lonely Broadway show girl he fucked out of pity’. I …” She dropped the photo and buried her face in her hands. She could hear his voice in her ears as she thought about it. The photo was of Nadine waiting at a bus stop, leaning against the plastic windshield that protected the bench in a navy blazer with a matching skirt and a lilac blouse. With a large cell phone to her ear with tears running down her face. Elizabeth stood and put her arm around Nadine. “There are a few photos here of some very dark times” She warned the room. “How many photos are there?”

“21” Russell chimed in. “So far, 21 in total.” He felt his heart break for Nadine as she reached for Elizabeth’s hand.

“Then let’s get going.” Nadine whispered weakly.


	26. Elizabeth, Why Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More unfolds regarding the 21 photographs that have been take over the course of several years monitoring Nadine, with them getting more frequent as they get closer to the present. Nadine struggles to bring in a new day like it is normal, Elizabeth vows to protect Nadine at all costs. Our duo leave the situation room, desperate for a leg up. How do you protect the woman you love from an unknown monster?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Hi...  
> I have no idea where this is going, but hold on tight. These next few chapters are going to be an emotional ride and I am excited to share them. 
> 
> Please please please kudos and comment if you have any questions, comments, or concerns!

It was close to 2 in the morning when the situation room started to empty. Nadine and Elizabeth stayed behind to talk to Dalton. Once the room was empty Elizabeth stood to talk to Dalton, finally able to speak freely while Nadine kept checking the photos.

They discussed if Elizabeth house was safe, if the 7th floor was safe, they ran what if situations. But after a few moments, Elizabeth looked behind her at Nadine. Nadine was shuffling through the photos looking for clues, looking for hints but the more she shuffled the faster the shuffle was getting. Her tired eyes were sad, and her whole demeanor was that of defeat. Some of these photos were beautiful, and she wished she could have enjoyed them for just being photographs taken by a friend. But instead someone was following her. She looked at the photo of her sitting in her office and couldn’t hold back the frustration. 

“Nadine.” Elizabeth practically pulled her out of her chair to hug her, but Nadine shook her off. “We will get to the bottom of this, I promise.” She put her hand on Nadine’s forearm instead.

“How?” at this point, Nadine was angry and a little tearful, making Dalton a little uneasy because he didn’t have an answer, but Elizabeth did.

“I will be glued to your side, we will get you home, and we will go to work like it was just another day. If this person has eyes watching, then they would notice if something was different.” Elizabeth was being as level headed as she could be as she watched Nadine pass around the room.

“Something different? If this person has eyes then they would see its 2 in the damn morning and I am looking at their photos in the situation room with the Secretary of State, the President, and his whole freaking cabinet and bloodhounds!” Nadine looked at them from the other side of the room and looked at all the empty chairs that were once full.

“What will change, however, is the protection.” Seeing Nadine fall apart made Elizabeth determined to put her back together and be strong enough for the both of them. “Right, Conrad?”

He nodded. “I can even offer the White House should you need it.” It brought a touch of lightness to the situation, “Go home, get some sleep. We will get to the bottom of this.” He gathered his things and followed them out the door. Nadine was quiet as Elizabeth tried to buzz through ideas for safety. As they started to head home. 

“Why me… Why years’ worth of information gathering. Why now?” Nadine looked so worried as she fidgeted with her engagement ring. “What if something happens to me?” She felt like she was about to cry and was fighting to hold back her tears.

“Hey now, nothing will. I am right with you. I promise.” She took Nadine’s hand, straightening her ring. “Besides, nothing is allowed to happen to you, I still want to marry you.” She smiled at Nadine. “I mean that.” Nadine could only nod, she knew she was lucky, in more ways than one. “We will go home and get some sleep.”

The rest of the ride was short at that early hour, once they arrived home, they slowly undressed and climbed into bed. Nadine pressed herself against Elizabeth, who wrapped her tightly in her arms. She needed to feel okay, she needed to feel that something in her life was true and reliable. Taking a long slow breath, Nadine took a step back mentally. Closing her eyes, she thought about the arms that were holding her. The lips that kissed her, the smile she saw every day, the woman she was going to marry. Going into this battle with Elizabeth, no matter how terrified she was, made her feel safe. And just believing in that truth, lulled her to sleep. 

The alarm screamed all too soon, she was still in Elizabeth’s arms when she woke. Rolling over she greeted Elizabeth with a kiss. Elizabeth could only incoherently mumble something about muffins and being naked.

“Unless you plan on going to the office, you didn’t need to set an alarm. But you will have time for both a shower and breakfast.” She pulled the blanket over her head and groaned. “It’s Saturday and my feet hurt.” 

Elizabeth rolled over and pulled the covers off Nadine’s face smothered her with a hug. “So, I forgot to turn off the alarm. Doesn’t mean I will actually let us out of bed.” Nadine started to giggle as she playfully fought Elizabeth back. “Although, I might be willing to get out of bed if we make brunch.”

“Sangria?” Nadine whispered excitedly.

“Drinking in the morning? It’s like you are trying to keep me in bed.” Elizabeth stretched and felt her spine snap into place. “Is that your plan?”

“I want to pretend that nothing after 10 o’clock happened last night happened. I want to feel alive in the moment we were in. Besides, you are good enough to eat.” Nadine looked at her with a crooked grin. 

“Babe?” Elizabeth asked slowly.

“You heard me.” she said as she pulled the sheets over both their heads and lowered herself down Elizabeth’s body and pulled her pajama bottoms and undergarments with her and started to kiss her way down Elizabeth’s stomach. “Just another Saturday.” She whispered.

“Just… another…” And Elizabeth sucked in a quick breath “Oh babe…”   
\---

Nadine walked down the stairs fresh from a shower seeing Elizabeth buzz around with bacon crackling and smooth jazz and a pitcher of what looked like Sangria waiting for her. “Oh good. You are all done! Just a few more minutes on the omelet.” Nadine leaned against the center island and watched Elizabeth at work.

“You should be called the Secretary of Brunch.’ Nadine laughed as she reached for the sangria.

“I prefer Secretary of Sangria; brunch is all I can cook to be honest. I leave the rest to you.” She leaned over with a sarcastic smile and kissed Nadine’s cheek as Nadine rolled her eyes. “What? you love me” Elizabeth drew out the ‘e’ in me. 

“Not as much as I love your omelets.” Nadine answered as she took a sip.

Elizabeth took the spoon she was using and smacked Nadine’s rear with it. “That’s not what I remember hearing just over an hour ago.” She left a powdered spoon print behind.

“Oh, you’ll pay for that one.” Nadine said slyly. Elizabeth just hummed away as she opened the refrigerator to get the syrup. As she walked back, Nadine pushed against the kitchen island and kissed her lips and made quick work to her neck, starting to suck and bite. She knew how it instantly would make Elizabeth come undone. Elizabeth was like putty trying to make Nadine stop but also begging her to continue. There was a ding. Nadine pulled away “Sounds like the omelet is ready.” She winked as she grabbed her glass of sangria and walked to the table.  
\---

The weekend progressed; Saturday was spent in pajamas with no other worries. Sunday, however, was back in business. Now the events after 10 o’clock that Friday were real. And they demanded the attention of anyone who was involved. 

Elizabeth and Nadine spread out along the kitchen table. Each filtering through the folders making notes and annotating the timeline. “You know, you look wonderful in some of these. Under different circumstances I would have a few framed.” Elizabeth held the photo of writing in her journal with petals in her hair. “That was just before we met for dinner. Do you…” She was trying to get herself to put her brain in gear. “Do you think the people who caught us, have been responsible for this?”

“No, those folks thought they had a story to undermine you. They were average people who thought they had breaking news. They were clean.” She was writing down the color of her shirts, any noticeable characteristics and trying to find a link. “I don’t get it.” She looked at Elizabeth. “Why me, why a woman is not interesting politically. I was Broadway actress and student, had a son, worked for Marsh in the Senate then in the State Department. Then under you in the State Department. I had an affair with him, and I am now engaged to you. Marsh is dead, so if it was him, they were after then it should have stopped?” She said flatly. “I made questionable life choices early on but decent professional ones.”

“I wish I knew, but it starts with Marsh asking you to be his Chief, did you take it from someone else?” Elizabeth asked as she was back to admiring the picture in her hand. It was Nadine in a coffee shop, bundled up with a hat that matched her peacoat and scarf as she looked out the window with a steaming cup to her lips with a book on the table before her. She didn’t see Nadine nod ‘No’ she was too busy thinking about the young Chief of Staff with the whole world of possibilities opening up to her, what that must have felt like for her. Elizabeth was imagining what it would be like if she walked into that coffee shop. She was looking at Nadine’s face, and her rosy cheeks when something caught her eye. “Babe…” she gestured for her to come over.

“What’s up?” Nadine asked as she slid over to see what Elizabeth had to show.

“There are reflections in the window, they are faint, but we can see your full figure, seated at the table and at least four other bodies, one is turned to the side, matching the angle of the photo that was taken when you were looking out the window.” Elizabeth pointed to the reflections. “I am going to make a few calls, I want this image pulled apart, and enhanced, I want to run a facial recon and who knows maybe we will be lucky. If this picture is early enough, they were not as careful as they are now, which is why we are having such poor luck with security cameras.” Elizabeth rushed to call the President, she paced around the kitchen island as she did.

Nadine stared at the photo; she didn’t remember that day. It was just a cup of tea on a cold day with a book and an excuse to get out of the house. It was not work related, it was not anything that was related to diplomatic purposes, it was to catch up on reading Wuthering Heights for the second or maybe third time. She stared at the reflections some more as Elizabeth voice faded behind her own thoughts. This person was hiding in plain sight, Nadine felt her heart jump in her throat. 

About 20 minutes later, Elizabeth said “the FBI was working on the image and is now looking at all reflective surfaces which may take them a while. But it’s something.” as she rummaged through the pantry for a snack. She heard Nadine sigh, then a thump. “Babe?”

Nadine’s had resting on her hand on the table, “I just want to know, is it that hard.” The defeat was setting in, yesterday was a blissful, slightly drunken distraction of sex, food, movies, and reminiscing on the Gala. She sore in a couple different ways, some from dancing and some from things getting a little rough and steamy. But the soreness was ignored, and the facts spilled in. “I just want to safe. Was I ever safe?”

Elizabeth didn’t have an answer right away; she didn’t have one. “Maybe not. But you are with me, you have a detail, you are being careful, we will get to the bottom of this, I can promise you that. Because we have to. Because we need to. Because I love you and I will not have some calculated lunatic take the amazing woman who will be my future wife, the bride I can’t wait to see in a white dress, the fiancée who means more to me than anything.” Elizabeth found herself getting louder the more she was fired up, she was angry and sad and scared too. She would protect her sweet Nadine from as much as she possibly could. “I will not allow some chaotic mastermind to take over MY Chief of State and MY best friend.” she paused to take a breath. “I have loss the woman who has been my savior. I just can’t.” She hoped Nadine understood that.

She did. The tears slipped out again, but this time Nadine let them. It was not quiet, tearful moment that she had to control in the situation room to get the job done. She was home, with the woman she loved. Her shoulders shook, her breathing was short and ragged, the tears streamed down her face as she pushed the photos way to reduce the risk of tear stains. Elizabeth slipped in next to her and held her tightly, trying to put all the pieces back together before they fully had the chance to fall apart completely. Nadine buried her head into Elizabeth’s shoulder. The sobs grew louder “I am so scared, I am so scared,” she whispered over and over.

“I know you are, it’s okay to be. We will get to the bottom of this, I promise you.” Elizabeth said as she kissed the top of Nadine’s head. Nadine pulled her head back to look at Elizabeth. Even soaked with tears, she was still gorgeous. Nadine gripped onto Elizabeth as tightly as she could and kissed her roughly. She needed to feel Elizabeth, she needed to be grounded in place she needed to know she was still alive.

Elizabeth pulled her in tightly as she kissed that wet, tear-soaked face. Her lips making the same promise her words made. She put a hand on the back of Nadine’s head as kisses started to get messy. She pulled away and looked at Nadine, wiping away her tears and holding her face in her hands. “I am with you, I am here for you, you are not alone. I love you.”

“And I love you.” Nadine whispered back. She felt a fire in her core a growing determination that was battling the fear that was slowly choking her. She knew she would be brave, she had to, for Elizabeth.


	27. He is not a man I recognize...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING****  
> There is brief discussion of murder, assault, and rape in this chapter. 
> 
> Keeping a day as 'Business as Usual' should have been easy. But the composite sketch Elizabeth had asked for finally came back from the FBI. It is not someone that Nadine recognizes. But it is something that Elizabeth and Conrad recognize from their day's in the CIA.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seem to be on a track of about every 2 weeks I can get a chapter up! This is going to get a lot darker then the usual romcom, lusty fluff I usually write. Hang in there with me... these next chapters are going to be rough for all of us. 
> 
> Please kudos and/or comment with anything, even if its to say just to say hi! I want to know that you guys like what I write, because I enjoy being able to write for you all!

Nadine had been working in her office early that Monday. She knew the best way to keep her mind busy was to work. It also would keep her distracted. She stepped out of her office walking her way to get another cup of tea and noticed Blake. “Blake, you’re in early.” She said realizing he may have heard her singing along to showtunes on Spotify. 

Blake jumped out of his skin. “Nadine, uh, hi. I didn’t…why are you... is the Secretary here?” He scrambled through his sentence. Embarrassed that he was unaware she was there. 

“No, she’s not. She is at the White House; I took advantage of coming early. Usually I am the only one here.” She looked awkwardly at her shoes and bounced her empty mug in her hand. “The acoustics in my office are great.” She said trying to be casually cool about the fact that at one point this morning she may have gotten carried away.

“What, that was you singing? Not the radio?” Blake was shocked. “I mean, I knew you could sing, I have heard you sing, but… Chicago? All That Jazz?” Blake was trying to pick is jaw off the floor. “I…. you…”

“Between you and me. Shh…” Nadine held a finger to her lips, winked and walked away. “I know you sing.” She stopped and said over her shoulder, “But I have never heard you sing showtunes, we should change that.”

Blake waited until she was out of, what he thought, was ear shot to quietly prove a point that he had a few Broadway dreams if he wasn’t a Secretary Adam’s assistant. He started to sing ‘Bad Idea’ from his favorite Broadway musical ‘Waitress’. Nadine poured her tea and quickly walked back. “Dr. Pomatter?!” He jumped. And she joined in singing the parts of Jenna.

“Okay, we should duet more often.” He was dumbfounded with just how easy she was to sing with.

“Maybe.” she winked as she walked back to her office.

Within the hour, the 7th floor was beginning to fill with life. Phones kept ringing, people were talking, and printers chiming they were out of paper. It was all white noise to Nadine at this point as she typed away at emails. She only stopped when she heard the elevator beep and saw Blake power walk in its direction. Elizabeth was finally here. She walked of her office and saw Blake talk through the day’s schedule and hand Elizabeth a binder. 

“Great, thanks Blake.” She locked eyes with Nadine and nodded her head to her office as she walked past before flipping through list of meetings waiting for her. Once in her office she flopped into her chair and actually read the agenda; more talked with the fair work and trade agreement with China. She rolled her eyes when she realized that was the only priority written for today, most of the other pressing matters in negotiations with their corresponding counterparts. She looked up when Nadine came in. “Nadine!” she said almost a little to excitedly. 

“So how was your meeting with Conrad and crew?” Nadine said with a half-smile, trying to make light of her stalker situation.

“The reflections proved useful, they are compiling a sketch off of all the pieces they can find. And said they should have it by the end of the day today or tomorrow morning. They are also looking at the days and locations of each photo trying to see if there was any surrounding information be it camera, recordings, newspapers, reporters anything that may have a record of the events that happened around you. They are also pulling old public transit video of your older commutes.” Elizabeth watched Nadine slowly walk to the other side of her desk and lean against it. “They are pulling everything they possibly can.” Elizabeth whispered. “I even yelled at FBI, because their new kid said this was a ‘classic case’ of an obsession and nothing more, not a security threat. He seemed to forget the threat was you are the Chief of Staff to the Secretary of State. Not just my fiancée.” Elizabeth shook her head.

“What a time to break in the new kid.” Nadine said with a sign as she looked out the window. “It’s hard to keep things normal when there is someone out there who is watching me. I don’t even have a safe place to go and do my work.”

Elizabeth reached for her hand. “I know… But I promised you.” Nadine leaned in to kiss her waiting lips. “You are welcome to work here if would feel safer?” Elizabeth asked playfully.

“Oh, please like I would get any work done.” She started to get herself together to leave. “Purely because your black bra is very apparent though that shirt of yours.” She winked. “I will be in my office if you need me, I have a few things to work out for the satellite budget with Commerce. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Elizabeth answered, she looked down at her shirt… Nadine was right.

The day seemed to go quickly. Although Elizabeth felt like she had made no progress with the Chinese, she did get at least some kind of indication they were open to discussion with more trade partners committed. Nadine, on the other hand, was leaning back in her chair, with her phone pressed to her ear yelling at the same poor assistant she flattened at the gala. “Connect me to your Secretary, if he won’t fund his scientists then we will take them. Imagine how upset DOC will be when State gets international space recognition?” The line was quiet. “I’ll wait.” She yelled again.

“Ms. Nadine Tolliver.” a low baritone echoed in her ears. 

“Mr. Secretary, I hope I didn’t get you at a bad time, I have been dying to talk to you.” She wiggled her shoulders in a happy dance. 

Elizabeth was reminded that it was time to leave when her stomach growled. She was starving. She worked through lunch and snacking on Ritz crackers was not enough. She closed her files, thinking she was at a good spot to stop and went to round up Nadine. As she opened the door, Nadine was just walking to it. “I was just about…”

“I just got word from Commerce, they just upped the funding for NOAA and NASA! They will continue to fund their part of the project!” Nadine was so excited that she threw her arms around Elizabeth and kissed her. 

“That is terrific babe! Ready to head home? I am starving. '' Elizabeth dramatically acted like she was famished.

“Let me get my blazer. You know you should eat something that isn’t just crackers all day.” Nadine smirked as she walked to her office.

Elizabeth had gone back to retrieve her own jacket and in a mocking tone “Maybe tomorrow, I’ll add cheese!”

Tuesday was just like Monday, meetings, phone calls, the never-ending concern for Nadine. At 10 in the morning, FBI came to Elizabeth’s office and sat with her and Nadine. They presented the sketch of the person of their compiled reflection parts. It looked like any average man, believed to be in his mid 40s, 5’11”, white, with what they thought was red hair. 

“Ms. Tolliver, do you know this man?” the agent asked carefully.

“It is not a face I am familiar with…” Nadine put the photo down.

“We figured we would ask. We are running it through facial recon and any one we have on file. We will report back with more soon.” The agent said plainly. 

They shook hands and FBI was gone, leaving Nadine and Elizabeth where they stood. “I feel like this is an episode of Bones.” Elizabeth said as she put her arm around Nadine. “But we are getting closer.”

“We will have to tell the staff, won't we?” Nadine asked as she stared at the door.

“Only if you want to, this can easily be a follow up meeting regarding an interaction between classified documents being lacked.” Elizabeth said matter of fact.

“I want to tell them.” Nadine said with a confidence that was shadowed by her own nerve as she kept nodding her head. As if the more she did it the more likely she would start to believe it. “Call them in for a meeting this afternoon.”

“Already on it.” Elizabeth gave her a squeeze. “I’ll email them for a 4 o'clock meeting.” Nadine kissed her and left for her office. 

Elizabeth watched her leave; she held the composite image in her hands as she walked to her desk. She needed to call Dalton right way. She felt like she was sick to her stomach and only he would be able to confirm her fears or put her at ease. The phone rang twice before his assistant picked up. “It’s Elizabeth Adams, I need to speak with Conrad, right away.” The line was quiet long enough that made Elizabeth anxiety levels rise.

“Conrad. Have you spoken to the FBI regarding Nadine?” She ask quickly.

“No, I haven’t. But I have their composite in an envelope on my desk. I was going to review it this afternoon. What is going on” He was curious as to why it mattered. These composites were helpful, but rarely accurate. If anything, it would limit the search to a few hundred similar looking people narrowing the hunt. 

“Just open it.” She begged. She heard the crinkle and tearing of paper and the phone sliding around as Conrad opened it. She heard the smooth glossy paper slide out of the envelope and heard Conrad exhale a long slow breath. “He is in high security federal prison. Right? Tell me he is.”

“He is all too familiar...” was all Conrad said. 

“CIA hunted this man, we wanted him alive but preferred him dead. He was a stalker, a faker, sweet talking mad man that followed his victims for years, he had a team of others that followed him; his apostles. They saw him as the new God, he would have them pick victims, to see if they were worthy to join the extremist following. These victims would be followed, stalked, and somehow recruited to their fellowship. They would be put through the trials of joining, they would be raped, and tortured until they ultimately were murdered. Conrad, you put him in prison. Why is he the one sketched!?” Elizabeth talked faster but lowered her voice to an almost hushed whisper. “Conrad…”

“Richard Craig?” Conrad ask. “Richard, or Big Ricky, died in a prison fight, he was shanked to death when he was in the yard for his 25 minutes of recreation. He was only in prison a few short months, but his death or rather his murder was poetic. Even criminals draw a line at molesting and dismemberment of victims that were still alive, and a few were even pregnant.” Conrad sounded so confident.

Elizabeth shuttered, she remembered the autopsy reports, young women were roped into being romantically involved with Richard. When they would be found, they were murdered and missing an organ. Usually it was a heart, or an eye, or a kidney. If it was someone Richard was serious with, she would be missing her uterus. There was the occasional young man that would be persuaded by Richard, they would be found the same as the young woman, except if that situation was serious, they would be missing their penis. Richard took trophies and it made anyone that worked on the case a little queasy. The worst case was a woman who was found that had been about 8 months pregnant, and her baby was removed from her and she was alive during the process. It was said that they were crimes of passion, but how was that passionate? “Conrad, you remember those autopsy stories.”

“Elizabeth, I do not wish to discuss them. What does this have to do with Nadine?” He was annoyed at this point, this was a case that was shut, the man was dead. Conrad himself saw it; he was praised for helping get the criminal behind bars!

“Remember, two years before he was caught, and he would start to leak information to the FBI and CIA? He was taking pictures and recordings. Usually they were tall, thin, and blonde. But the prospective victims were getting more high profile. Actors, singers, politicians and professors. Conrad, he was sent to prison for about 15 years ago. What if he didn’t actually die… What if he is after Nadine? His hotspots were New York, D.C., and Atlanta. He could have spotted her when she was on the Broadway scene, or at any stage in her budding political career. Conrad… Please…” Elizabeth tried to keep steady, tried to make it so he knew she was just putting facts together, but her voice cracked and the desperation of a woman trying to keep her fiancée from a known murder was showing.

“Elizabeth, you are sure about this?” Conrad was slowly connecting the dots.

“I wish I wasn’t.” She said quietly. 

“I will make some calls, and have the FBI and CIA pull all information on him and his followers. Be strong for her Bess.” And he hung up the phone.

Elizabet looked at the photo and covered it with a folder. She didn’t want to look at it anymore that she needed to, there was still a sliver of hope that it was not the case. She stared at the ceiling until she called Blake to schedule a meeting for 4 this afternoon. What she didn’t know what Nadine had been standing outside her door, about to knock to get the NASA pen she had left behind. She listen to the hushed interaction and thought her heart was going to stop. She disappeared into her office, seeing the e-vite for the meeting she asked for this afternoon in her inbox. But all she could do was search stare blankly at her work, was she now a part of something that would lead to her end?

The staff arrived, Nadine was in her chair and they waited for Elizabeth who was trying to get off the phone call. Once she arrived, Nadine started. “There is something I need you all to know, but not to panic over.” Great, that was a great start, she thought, the staff looks terrified. Nadine opened the file that had all the photos of her in it handed it to the staff to pass around. 

“At some point last week, these were leaked to President Dalton. Some of those photos are over 10 years old, some of them new. Most are around D.C. and a few are in New York. Some are in coffee shops while others are taken right in this office.” Daisy gasped, Matt reached to grip Daisy’s arm and Blake and Jay stared in disbelief. “There is a sketch of who it is, but nothing is official, I just want you to know what is going on so you can help keep an eye out. That is all.” the staff filtered through the photos, not making heads or tails over them but commenting on how some were nicely taken which was both impressive and concerning. 

They cleared out of the room, leaving Elizabeth and Nadine alone. “How are you holding up?” Elizabeth asked. Nadine could only nod as she stared blankly at the table.

“Elizabeth don’t hide it. I heard your conversation with Dalton.” Elizabeth froze “I was coming back for my pen and overheard, you sounded so frantic that I wanted to listen and not barge in. Where you going to tell me?” Nadine was angry with her.

“Once I had files and confirmation. You can’t be upset that I sat on this until I learned more. If it is false, then you would have worried for nothing. I don’t want to waste time chasing dead ends.” Nadine stood quickly and practically stormed out of the conference room. “Nadine!” Elizabeth yelled after her. “Nadine, wait.” She got up after her.

“For what for you to NOT tell me things? For me to casually find out that I am going may be stalked by a murderer?” Nadine said in a harsh whisper through the door frame. “Forget it.”

“Babe.” Elizabeth reached for her arm. “Nadine listen to me.” but Nadine shrugged her off and kept walking to her office. At this point it was a scene and Elizabeth didn’t even care, she just needed to have Nadine hear her. Nadine rounded the corner and held the door handle to her office with Elizabeth in tow. “Nadine would you rather I share terrifying information on a whim? Or wait to know that that is a solid lead. Nadine, this man is recorded as dead, and has been for almost 14 years.” Nadine froze as she open the door.

“Am I being followed by a zombie?” her voice was a broken sarcasm that sliced Elizabeth. 

“Do you hear yourself?” Elizabeth shot back

“Yes, I do. Richard Craig, the leader of some extremist group, the story was all over the news. Elizabeth, we followed it with the FBI as information unfolded. NPR even talked about it. We all were terrified when he was leaking information about interns and congressman at the Capitol Building. I am just upset that I am living in constant fear and my partner, my teammate, my fiancée couldn’t tell me what she thought.” Nadine was gone, Elizabeth didn’t know how to handle this situation. “Elizabeth why didn’t you.” Her question was so flat that Elizabeth found it hard to answer it.

“Because I wanted to be wrong, if I was right then this man is not only after you but has escaped federal prison and may have killed others that we just don’t know about. I needed to fact check before I speculated, I needed to make sure that when I told you I knew I had a plan to protect you. Because I love you and I made you a promise that this would be resolved, but I need to do my due diligence.” Elizabeth put her head down and reach behind Nadine to open to door guiding her in and quickly shut it behind her. “Conrad made some calls, and I am waiting for any information at all. I have nothing but my gut feeling, and I want to throw up.”

Nadine took a breath. She thought about how her timeline of photos lined up with a Big Ricky’s death. “There are no facts?”

“None, and when I got any kind of information, I was going to tell you.” Elizabeth took Nadine hands. “Please believe me, I was CIA I know a thing or two about investigations and the people involved.” Nadine stared at her blankly. “I interrogated monsters, I talked to grieving families all things I still do here. There is nothing more painful than having a tidbit of information that you can’t share because it’s not validated with facts.” Elizabeth squeezed her hands. 

Nadine’s mind kept racing. “I am just as terrified as if it were true.” She whispered weakly as she buried herself into Elizabeth as she fought back tears. “Don’t leave me.”

Elizabeth wrapped Nadine in her arms, “I made you a promise, and I intend to keep it” she kissed the top of Nadine’s head. “One step at a time babe. One step at a time.”

They were quiet for a long moment. “Let’s go home?” Nadine ask the question weakly. 

“Of course. I’ll make dinner and tomorrow is a new day.” Elizabeth said. “I’ll get my bag and meet you here.” Elizabeth walked back to her office, turned off her computer, and her things. She was moving so quickly to get back to Nadine, she missed there was a message on her machine, a message from Conrad.


	28. Did you get my message?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hunch becomes an answer, not that it warrants a congratulations. Thinking that things would go smoothly, life went on. Nadine was going to Maryland for a meeting at NASA Goddard. Before leaving, she let herself get a little carried away with Elizabeth, thinking she would have something to continue when she got home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Caution  
> There are references to murder and assault that may make some uncomfortable.
> 
> Comment/Kudos please! These next chapters are going to be dark.

Elizabeth explained her thoughts to Nadine as they rode home. It sent chills down both of their spines, but the more the theory began to make sense and it was also comforting felt that there might be an answer. Not that the answer was a very good one.

Once they arrived home, Nadine quickly went upstairs to take a shower and rinse the stress of the day away while Elizabeth buzzed around the kitchen making dinner. Spaghetti with Italian sausage and peppers. It was simple and easy and hard for Elizabeth to burn. As she was waiting for the pasta water she debated if she really was about to make a pound of it. Did she need to? No. Did she intend to eat as much as she could? Oh yes. Just as she was almost done making dinner and was setting the table the security phone called. It was Conrad?

Elizabeth stared at the phone, what would he want? She picked up a dish towel and started whipping her hands as she made her way to the door. With a deep breath she let him in. “Conrad to what do I owe the pleasure. Can I get you anything?” Elizabeth asked with a smile as she walked back to the kitchen. “I was just finishing making dinner.”

“No, Bess. Did you get my message?” He looked stern, this was different than his presidential level of stern, this was his old CIA director face.

“No, Conrad?” Elizabeth suddenly felt small, and inadequate. There she was with a towel over her shoulder, a large wooden spoon covered in tomato sauce, hair in a messy bun, and mismatched socks with the president in her kitchen.

“Where is Nadine?” He asked her before reaching for a roll that was on the table.

“Taking shower…” She said slowly as she watched him reaching for the roll. “Feel free to help yourself. Or of you care to join? I made plenty.” Elizabeth said with a crooked smile, hoping this slightly goofy gesture meant things were not serious. 

“I’ll wait, I don’t want to completely interrupt your evening.” He said as he buttered the roll. Elizabeth rolled her eyes as she continued to set the table. “Not anymore that I am probably about to.” He took a bite of the roll, “these are really good, where did you get these?” He put a touch more butter on the roll and took another bite.

“There is a little bakery along New York Ave, they have the best Italian bread and rolls, I could live of them. I will email you their info if you’d like?” Conrad nodded as he quickly finished the roll.

Shortly after Nadine emerged in a NASA hoodie and yoga pants. She saw Conrad and almost jumped. “Hi Conrad.” she said. “If I had known you were coming, I would look a little more presentable.” She laughed.

“I need to talk to both of you.” All three surround the kitchen island. “Elizabeth, I want to congratulate you. But this is not a situation that deserves it. Richard Craig was pronounced dead, but medical records and former guards indicate that the people in the brawl were maimed, to the point they were unidentifiable. The man that was identified as Richard may not have been him the body is being fumigated to run some tests to confirm.” He looked at the roll in his hand. “If it is in fact truly him, we need to be cautious. The odds are small, but I have increased surveillance and security on the both of you. Nadine, if you travel without Elizabeth you will have a detail.” He paused, he felt guilty about taking more rolls and delivering the terrifying reality. “There is also, there is also another threat.” This was harder to share. This was information that was so new and fresh they stung as they rolled off his tongue. “FBI has had his son, Denny Augusto, under watch. He has been showing some behavior that is raising some flags.”

“He has a son. That lived? He…” Elizabeth was beginning to spiral, there were more questions than answers and this was not a person or tactic she was prepared to handle. What did she do?

“We are watching him. That is all. Have a good night.” He took an extra dinner roll and saw himself out as quickly as he could.

“Nadine?” Elizabeth questioned, no answer. “Nadine?” 

Nadine heard her, she heard Elizabeth’s voice, it was smooth and sweet and encouraging. She was lost in a spiral of thoughts and fears. She pulled herself together to respond, she realized, this brought her answers, and she was getting closer to closure. “I have an answer.” she said distantly. “Well enough of an answer. Elizabeth.” She turned, locking eyes with her fiancée. “I can’t keep crying, I mean, yes, I am scared, but I have you and we will make it through. Right?” Nadine was so levelheaded it was unsettling to Elizabeth, but Nadine was right, they would.

“Absolutely.” Elizabeth said with a smile. “I promised you that.” She lifted a spoon, “shall we eat?”

Nadine smiled as she plucked the spoon out of Elizabeth’s hands and put it in her mouth. Winking as she made her way to the table.

\----  
The next week felt very much like a normal week with meetings, phone calls, arguments, and late nights on the seventh floor. At home, if the pair wasn’t researching Richard Craig and his son, they would watch TV or make food or get lost in heated smooches. 

On Friday, Nadine was scheduled to go to Greenbelt, Maryland for a meeting at NASA Goddard. Elizabeth made sure she had a detail with her to guarantee she would get around safely. “I will meet you at home.” Nadine and Elizabeth sat on the coach in Elizabeth’s office. “I should only be a few hours, assuming things go smoothly.”

“You have your detail, and I am just a call away if you need it. Although you spend so much time at NASA, I feel like they should either offer you a job or at least give you a desk.” Elizabeth leaned in and kissed her cheek. But something made Nadine reach for the front of Elizabeth’s shirt and kiss her hot and fast. Elizabeth was not one to complain as she grabbed fistfuls of hair. She smiled against Nadine’s lips as she noticed her shirt was no longer tucked in. “Allow me to lock the doors.” She pried herself of the couch and quickly walked to the door. It’s hard to be quick when you have one heel on.

Nadine took her glasses off and put them on the table. “I know I’ll be back, but right now all I can’t seem to help myself and…” Elizabeth shut her up as she pushed her back against the cushions and straddle her lap and made quick work of her buttons. Nadine knew the reason, it wasn’t whether she was coming back, it was the project she was working on. The topic, the tasks, the scientists, the people and the cause. It was her favorite in all her time in politics, it allowed her to be the little girl with wanted to study the moon and stars. When she had these meetings, she was on top of the world. She had it all and getting carried away with Elizabeth was the icing on the cake.

“I will take any reason.” Elizabeth buried her neck and gently nibbled. “Because, you amaze me.” Nadine could only chuckle as she pulled Elizabeth hair. Elizabeth opened Nadine’s shirt and kissed her way down Nadine’s shoulder and chest. Stopping at the heart necklace she gave her in New York to admire it. She kissed the charm and made her way back to Nadine’s lips. Only to be stopped halfway by a pounding on the door.

“Ma’am? I have Russell Jackson on the line.” Blake yelled as he knocked. 

Nadine let out a sigh. “Damn it.”

“Nadine.” The way Elizabeth said her name, making her melt. It was a purr that warmly wrapped around her ears. It got to her every time. 

“You should probably get that.” Nadine said as reached to button her blouse. Elizabeth groaned as she stood, fixed her hair and tucked her shirt in. Nadine quickly walked up behind her. “One moment Blake.” She yelled before grabbing Elizabeth and kissing her quickly. “Let’s finish this at home, later?”

“You bet. Have fun saving the world and space.” Elizabeth said she opened the door and Nadine walked out and Blake walked in. 

“Elizabeth, I am not saving outer space. Come on. Blake, remind the Secretary that is for those lovely FBI agents Scully and Mulder.” And she walked out.

Blake pointed to himself, then back to Nadine, then to Elizabeth. “Please stop joking. I really want to be their assistant.”

“Blake, X-files is classified, you know this.” Elizabeth patted his back. “So, tell me, what the hell Russell want.”

“Oh, something about the meeting you had regarding the French in the fair trade…” Blake stopped as Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “I see we are on the same page, I will let you handle that.”

Nadine’s meeting was a resounding success. The update she had to share was directly from Commerce regarding budget, and the new agreement that was welcoming Italy as a major collaborator to the ESA. The directors of NOAA had much to say about the development of their analytical algorithms and NASA shared the launch plans and logistics.

As Nadine was on her way out she was stopped by Victoria Georgio. “Ms. Tolliver, I just wanted to thank you for your enthusiasm. I can tell you have done your homework. Having someone that cares this much really helps move the project forward.”

“Victoria, if I wasn’t in politics, I would have been a scientist, this allows me to chase that dream for a little while. Plus, I admire your oceanographic work, and NOAA’s mission. It’s an honor. Have a goodnight” and she shook her hand and she walked to her motorcade. Hopping in she pulled her phone out and texted Elizabeth that she was on her way back to Georgetown. The sun was just setting, and the ride was quiet. She admired the changing scenery, this drive made D.C. feel so close and too busy. 

They drove passed houses, schools, farms, and parks. Nadine let herself imagine what it would be like to retire, if she ever let herself. There was a little brown house she would pass that she liked. She fully imaged what the interior was like, and was a little creative in what the backyard would be. Leaning her head against the window, she thought about that little house. Hosting a BBQ with Elizabeth, with the pool ready for a splash. Her daydream came to a sudden halt.

“NADINE, DOWN.” A yell came from the front of the SUV. Before Nadine could react, the SUV was hit head on. Both vehicles went off the road. The car that hit them went into a tailspin into oncoming traffic, Nadine’s was pushed right off the road, hit the side rail and slowly tumbled over it. “Nadine? Nadine?” But she couldn’t respond. It was one of the men from her detail that was in the car behind her. She tried to call out, she wanted to beg to get to Elizabeth. It became harder for air to stay in her lungs, she felt like she was underwater. 

“Elizab…” she managed to whisper. Nadine felt equal parts anxious, scared, and calm. The world went black. She felt herself being moved. She heard the voices she recognized from her detail. Her mind was showing her every good moment in her life as she flickered on the brink of consciousness. She was watching the day Elizabeth proposed to her, studying the details of the interaction. She was just at the moment when Elizabeth went on one knee when what felt like a bandage was wrapped around her head and she heard muffled voices that sounded like medical instructions. She was going to the hospital, soon she would see Elizabeth. That thought was enough to help her brain slow.

Lights and sirens, the ambulance with Nadine went south, she was the first to vacate the crash. Her injuries were severe but not life threatening. Getting her out first was the priority. Her driver had died on impact and the other was trapped under the wreck. The closest hospital was indeed south of the crash, Sacred Heart hospital was notified of the crash and had staff on call ready to tend to them. 

Elizabeth dropped what she was doing, hanging up on her call with 10 other European countries regarding the fair-trade agreement and speed out the door. She kept trying to call Nadine, not that Nadine was able to answer, but maybe the EMT could. The ride to the hospital was only 25 minutes, but it felt like years. Elizabeth was so nervous for Nadine that she felt sick to her stomach. Her detail barely stopped when she leapt out of the care. 

“Nadine Tolliver, she was in a car accident, is she okay!?” She quickly asked the nurses station. She saw the people being wheeled in. Elizabeth recognized a few, they were in their suits, and with State Department pins on the collar. 

“Ma’am, we just accepted the victims of a car wreck, a Nadine Tolliver was never recovered. Are you at the right hospital?” The nurse look at Elizabeth with tired worried eyes. Elizabeth could only nod as she choked on her tears. “I will make a call to our EMTs.” The nurse vanished and returned quickly. “Ma’am we had 2 ambulances at the scene, a third was there. Operating under what we were told by their dispatcher was good faith because they saw the accident, one of the men from her detail was with her. They never showed up here.” As nurse spoke she realized what her words meant. A hurt woman was missing, kidnapped even. She stared at Elizabeth. “Ma’am?” The nurse felt her heart race “Ma’am, how do you know this victim?”

“Nadine is my fiancée, and my Chief of Staff.” Elizabeth ran back to her detail, leaving the nurse with her head spinning. Once in the car she called Dalton. The phone rang, before he could even say hello, she was yelling into the phone. “Conrad, Nadine was in an accident, the ambulance that took her never showed at the hospital, we have to find her. I saw the state of the other victims and they are hurt, her driver is dead, there is no way she would just walk away.” She was frantic and seeing a hot white. She felt the tears fighting for release, she felt her heart throbbing like it was ready to burst, her head hurt. She didn’t hear Conrad’s answer, that he will call FBI, and even pull CIA to start the investigation. She did hear ‘situation room’. With her head in her hands she sobbed the whole way to the White House, the clock was ticking. Where the hell is Nadine?

Elizabeth had no concept of time, she felt like she wasn’t even in her own body. She found herself in the situation room. She saw the faces and could hear their voices, but nothing was making sense, nothing was connecting in her mind. The world was a blur to her as she tried to put together her own broken heart. She was zapped back into reality when Conrad patted her back. 

“This is quick but there is no better place for you right now then here.” Conrad said. Elizabeth took what felt like her first deep breath in hours. Conrad had a hand on her upper arm, as he searched her blank face. “Talk to me, Bess.”

“You called us all in. What do you know? This is all happening fast we need to keep up.” Elizabeth looked over at the face’s details were becoming more visible and she felt like she was finally standing on the ground. 

“We know for a fact that Richard Craig is dead.” One agent said. “Which leads us to the interest in his son. We have him frequenting many locations around Maryland, close to the boarder of DC. We managed to get a tracker on his car. He commonly is on interstates, going to New York or Philadelphia but also frequents DC. We do not know that reasons, but we see the general area he is in. That car, a 2000 Jeep Wrangler, was parked at a ride share need a park.”

“How did you find him originally?” A masculine voice asked. It was Dr. McCord. Elizabeth felt herself cringe, the last thing she wanted was for this all to be evaluated to the point that a criminal would walk because he would appear like nothing more than a damaged little boy. “Not to interrupt you Elizabeth.” He said sheepishly. He knew she only tolerated him professionally, but personally he had a lot of work to do to even win her friendship. 

“We found him, of all things, because he did a DNA test. Which we quietly take all the samples to help develop a database.” A CIA fellow chimed in. “Morally,” she looked right at Dr. McCord. “We can get a reference for people within the states that are on record. With his match so high we began to keep an eye on him, then when there was suspicion with Ms. Tolliver, we have been on his back constantly. He works an EMT for EMSTAT, is 38, lives alone, but seems to have a partner who is a young medical student at UMD and has a bar he frequents.” She closed with the brief summery hoping it would bring some proof that they were working fast on their suspect.

“We have also seen him enter the same park he would go for walks, rain or shine but never come out the same place and would always be in a change of clothes. That is the red flag we are chasing.” Someone else said.

Elizabeth was staring at the table she was leaning over. She was lost in white noises and missed the rest of the conversation that was going on, the planning, and the orders being barked. 

“Underground.” She said. The room stopped. “His father was an abandon church with tunnels that we only found when we used ground penetrating radar around the church with months of supplies in them.” She pushed off the table and passed. We need to hunt that entire park! NOW!”


End file.
